Grief Poem

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My son Paul contacted Leukemia when he was 40 years old, the specialist told him how long he would live for and told him he wouldn't reach 50 years of age. He had all the treatment of Chemo...

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I Feel My Heart Breaking

Published by Family Friend Poems October 2009 with permission of the Author.

I feel your arms
wrapped around me so tight.
I feel your body,
snuggled next to mine
in the middle of the night.

I feel your breath
on the back of my neck,
I feel your sweet soft lips,
kiss me with a gentle peck.

I feel, NO! Wait,
I cannot feel,
it is all too real.

I awaken in a panic,
look around and
you aren't really there.
But I know it was real,
I felt your hands run through
my hair.

I feel something more now,
I must return
to my dream, somehow.
Please, oh please, still be there,
I am coming back, I swear!
This is the only place
I can hold you,
feel you, touch you.

I can't find you now.
Why did you go?
I asked you to stay,
I was on my way.
I must have taken too long.
Where did I go wrong?

I must now put my dreams aside,
wake up and realize
that you really have died.
I have tried so hard
to hide behind
all the silent tears
I have cried.

I feel you are still here,
I feel your presence
when you are near.
I feel your loving arms,
holding me while
I dream.

A place I feel safe,
without wanting to scream.
I feel your lips gently touch mine,
as you say good-bye.
I feel my heart breaking
once again,
and I start to cry.

As you fade further away
into the light ray,
I can hear you say,
"I love you, and we will
meet again, someday."

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by Elizabeth Hayward
8 years ago

My son Paul contacted Leukemia when he was 40 years old, the specialist told him how long he would live for and told him he wouldn't reach 50 years of age.
He had all the treatment of Chemo and many medications He had to have monthly medication to boost his immune system, they were searching for a marrow or stem cell donor, my son Todd wasn't suitable, my daughter tested stem cell was 70% compatible. They did the stem cells and other medications, this was successful and put him into remission for 5 years, then he had a muscle meltdown for doing exercise he wasn't fit for, which injured his kidneys. He continued to have good and bad days many blood tests, all of a sudden he was getting high temperatures and difficulty breathing, was tired all the time and blood tests showed nothing. They put Paul into the hospital and did many tests including a bone marrow biopsy which showed up an another aggressive leukemia .
Paul passed away on New Years morning 2016 he was aged 49 years.

by Grace Donner
10 years ago

My mother passed away last month, It seems I have not had a moment to grieve due to the hectic pace I have been trying to keep up with by others around me. I remember when my father passed that night I felt his presence I felt his fingers gently caress my cheek, I knew immediately they were his hands, calloused, twisted from hard work, and arthritis, yet soft and loving. I cried for him from the moment I felt that touch, and I have never stopped missing him, 30 years have passed, but that gently touch was his good bye, and I feel that the Lord allowed him to give me this memory which I have cherished and held dear to my soul ever since. I truly believe If I believe I too will one day see my beautiful loving mother and father again, it is what has helped me endure their deaths and their lives.

by Gloria Santiago
10 years ago

This poem has touched me dearly. I lost my only brother due to cancer, he and I were very close. Now he is gone and I don't want to believe it. In my mind and heart we'll never be apart. He was special in our lives, I really wish it was a lie. One year later on the same month I lost my brother I loose my father Due to cancer. Life is not fair, when it's time to go, it's time to go we can't stop it.
Will we ever meet again? That's what I ask myself all the time.

by Elsa Rosenfeld
10 years ago

After reading this poem, I have no words. Too deep the hurt.