I Am Not

I know I get angry, I know I rant and scream
But all I want to do is wake up from this dream
I try to stop being rude, I try to brush things off
But it's hard to do all this when I feel I'm not good enough
I'll never be a Vicki, beautiful, loving, and brightly glowing
I'll never be a Markee whose hard work is always showing
I'll never be a Crystal who's organized and neat
I'll never be a Madison who beats everyone in a meet
I'll never be a Candace who's the baby of our crew
I'll never be any of them; I can't fill any of their shoes
I'm just a teenage girl, who doesn't know what's going on
I'm just another troublemaker who has a thousand cons
I'm not that good at dance, my singing is just okay
I'm not the prettiest thing to look at, things don't go my way
I'm the one in the family who cries myself to sleep at night
I'm the one who for some odd reason can't get anything right
I'm the one who feels unwanted and hated by a lot
I'm the one who takes the blame when someone else gets caught
I'm the one who feels like me life can't continue the way it should
I'm the one who let Vicki leave, and she'd die because I would
I'm the one who can be successful but won't execute what I know
I'm the one who writes these down; I have nowhere else to go
I'm the one who can't say this to my family's face
I'm the one who's walking at a different pace
I'm the one who runs away when something in life goes wrong
I'm the one who's been hurting inside for almost way too long
I'm the one who can't put into words the way I really feel
I'm the one who doesn't believe good things are really real
I'm the one who attacks myself when I go down the wrong road
I'm the one who has been carrying on my shoulders a big heavy load
I'm the one who has tried to change but can't do it on my own
I'm the one who is so sorry, so I wrote this poem