Hurting Poem by Teens

Pretending To Be Okay

This is a poem about my day-to-day life. I go through my days, pretending nothing is wrong. I am protecting my family and friends from what I feel. Every time they ask how I am, I always reply, "Fine." I never am fine, never good or well. I wear a mask of happiness and joy so they won't suspect the depth or severity of my pain.

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Just My Mask

© more by Troy Dayln Bunker

Published by Family Friend Poems November 2011 with permission of the Author.

Of course I'm fine, why do you ask?
Oh, don't mind this, it's just my mask.
It hides the grief, it hides the strife.
I wear this mask to escape the knife.

Don't forget this, my pain is real.
I'm not lying, this is how I feel.
You sit there saying it can't be true.
It is for me, just not for you.

You say my heart must be a sight,
Cold as ice and black as night.
It's not my heart, only my soul,
But killing me must be your goal.

You're getting close, I hope you know.
You really don't have far to go.
Soon enough I'll reach my end.
You'll have my soul to tear and rend.

But you don't know, you never ask.
You never look beyond the mask.
The look on my face is giving me away.
I wonder now, what will you say?

You've asked me here; you'll know now.
I'll take it off, I'll take a bow...
I can't do it now, tell you the truth.
I must keep up my pretense of youth.

"Of course I'm fine, why do you ask?
Oh, don't mind this, it's just my mask."

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more by Troy Dayln Bunker

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Bleeding Away by Bleeding Away
  • 10 months ago

Hi, my name is Thia. I am currently struggling with depression myself, and self-harm. I feel like I always have to wear a mask too, and I can't be myself. My mom found out about my scars, and the first thing she threatened to do was drop me off at an orphanage. This poem means a lot to me. I feel like I'm not alone, at least online. Thank you for sharing your thoughts online.

  • Natalee by Natalee
  • 2 years ago

I'm Natalee. I come from a long line of addicts, and nobody can see past it. I started putting on a happy face so people wouldn't see my mom when they looked at me. Now I can't show who I really am because every time I do, people call me a liar.

  • Hailey Yaki by Hailey Yaki
  • 4 years ago

Hi, my name is Hailey, and I'm 14 years old. I used to have an older sister that I could see all the time, but now I can't. My parents don't want me to associate with her or her husband. I spent years hiding behind a mask to the point that I don't remember who I was before. I used this mask so no one could see that I was hurting. This poem voices how I feel. I just want to thank you so much on helping me see what I am like from the outside. Take care all of you, and thanks for reading my story.

  • Mischael Mfom by Mischael Mfom
  • 2 years ago

Hi, my name is Mike. I started living a life of a mask when my mom left. No one ever understood me the way she did. After she left, I felt desolate. My dad never let me talk to her. Every day I will put on a smile that will hide the grief I feel beneath, but at night, I will soak my pillow with tears. This poem really showed me that I am not alone with this mask.

  • ARIANA ROCHELLE by ARIANA ROCHELLE
  • 5 years ago

I am touched by this poem. Sometimes when the teachers say that we have to take a test, I pretend that I don't want to, but in reality, I really do because everyone is quiet and I don't have to worry about getting bullied. My friends try and ask me if I am okay, and I try to lie and say that I am, but I'm really not. I'm actually suffering underneath this mask that I wear to school every day. So to the author of this poem, I just want to say to you, I feel the same way, and we gonna make it out together.

  • Giorgia by Giorgia
  • 5 years ago

I am doing an English assignment where I have to find and annotate poems based on my topic. I chose adversity and I used this poem for struggling with adversity. I had to annotate it and I chose it because it is beautiful. You are an amazing poet.

  • Ammy R. Avocado by Ammy R. Avocado
  • 5 years ago

This is amazing! It makes me fell as though someone gets it. Every day I come to school as a happy, goofy person. I have so many friends, but not many of them are actual friends.

  • Cherilyn D. Tadlock by Cherilyn D. Tadlock
  • 5 years ago

I feel like this on a day-to-day basis. I am only in 7th grade, but I am never okay. This year I have lost friends and I have friends that have lost my trust. I don't know what to do. Your poem touched me deeply. All you have to do is talk to your friends.

  • Shamein Dobra by Shamein Dobra
  • 6 years ago

Life is hard. I’m only 16 years old, but it’s like I’ve lived for more than 52 years. I’m already fed up. The life that I’m living is not mine. Someone is using my body to satisfy himself. My soul is resting without peace. Life is not mine.

  • Holly by Holly
  • 5 years ago

Please get help to get out of this situation. You don't have to live this way. I promise, there is help out there for you to get out of this. Seek help through a family member, church member, school counselor, a police officer, anyone. You deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship one day. Focus on what you want to do with your life right now, there is time for relationships and marriage later. I pray you will seek help and counseling. Prayers for your wisdom, strength, peace, happiness and God's mighty touch on you.

  • Juliana by Juliana
  • 7 years ago

I had depression, and it was scary. I got depression when I was really young: 5th grade. My friends didn't know and just thought I was sick. They were 10 or 11, not knowing what I was going through. I got help, and I feel so much better. Talking to someone else made me feel like myself again.

  • Osas Oruame by Osas Oruame
  • 7 years ago

Teenage depression is very common for us teens, but we can't keep it inside or hide our feelings. Talk to someone, maybe your parents. We forget that they were once teens and they know how it feels. This is an amazing poem.

  • Lauren Arnold by Lauren Arnold
  • 7 years ago

I can relate to this poem so well it's unhealthy. I have a fear of being judged and being alone. It's probably one of my biggest fears. I do cry to let my emotions out but not as much because I feel people think I'm just being dramatic. I can't help if my tears flow; it's how the body works. Sometimes people forget this and they like to criticize in their minds of how I'm such an attention seeker or lost, in which I am. I am very confused, wondering where life is taking me. Am I going to survive? Is the rest of my life going to be like this? These questions bother me every day, but I don't say them aloud. So thank you for composing this poem. It's beautiful in my eyes and heart.

  • Bolt Dreyar by Bolt Dreyar
  • 7 years ago

This poem speaks to me in ways I did not understand until recently as I discovered that I've been cutting off many emotions behind a mask.

  • Kelsie Morgan by Kelsie Morgan
  • 8 years ago

This poem is really good. I can really relate to it. Wearing a mask to hide how I really feel is part of my everyday routine. I laugh and I smile with my friends and family, but no one really knows what I go through. I know I don't open up with them and tell them, but none of them try to find out either. It's hard for me to open up to people because if I don't understand how I'm feeling, how will they?

  • Nency Beukes by Nency Beukes
  • 8 years ago

Been continuously in a situation where you have to wear a mask. How long? How much more should I sacrifice my happiness for someone else's own stupidity? Not that am been harsh, but somehow situations teach you a lesson of life, so keep you head held up and walk like there's no tomorrow...

My most touching two lines: "You say my heart, must be a sight, cold as ice, and black as night. It's not my heart, only my soul, but killing me, must be your goal."

You're getting close. I hope you know you really don't have far to go. Soon enough I'll reach my end; you'll have my soul to tear and rend.

But be strong.

  • Jo A. Sparkes by Jo A. Sparkes
  • 8 years ago

This is very true of most of us at some point, we say--- "I'm fine", but sometimes we are dying inside, unless you have a strong faith where you can lay your soul down to Our Lord and His Blessed Mother, to take away the pain--- of whatever it is that's causing the trauma and stress. Talking can often be the salvation that's needed and not always available from your family members.

  • Paradoxical by Paradoxical
  • 8 years ago

I keep rereading this poem. It is brilliantly written and very, very true. You have touched me and probably many more people and I hope you are slowly getting better.

love and strength!

  • Lou Ellis by Lou Ellis
  • 8 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful mind with us. Please go look at my poem NO. I think on here it is called NO NO NO but it is just because they made me have 5 characters. My brother wrote a poem a long time ago about the mask he wears and to this day it is one of my favorite poems. Everyone wears a mask and we allow people to see only what we project. If we are hurt, we tend to wear a mask displaying a warrior. We refuse to show weakness and to let our enemies see us so fragile. However; when we are alone, we cry. We can not hide from ourselves no matter how many times we try to put on that mask before facing the broken soul in the mirror. Fight on, beautiful creature! We are all rooting for you.

  • Justice Clay by Justice Clay
  • 8 years ago

This is such a great poem. This describes exactly how I feel. I hide my depression behind a mask exactly like yours. When I was little I was sexually abused. I did not know who to tell about it so I did not tell anybody. I hope your depression is not as bad as mine is.

Thank you for your story.

When I was nine years old, I was raped. And it continued for two years. I never told anyone because the man threatened to hurt my family. When I wrote this poem, I was going through an extremely rough time. I was hiding everything from everyone. I was wearing a mask every day and never once felt like people could see the real me. My depression and PTSD got so bad that I was committed to an institution for attempting and nearly succeeding in killing myself. But eventually I learned how to take off the mask, how to let people see me and my trauma, and how to heal. It touches my heart that my poem has helped people in any way. I want you to know that things will get better. Not because you learn to live with your trauma, but because you learn to live in spite of it.

I hope things get brighter fast, my dear.

  • Neko Cat by Neko Cat
  • 8 years ago

I absolutely loved this poem, I feel this way all the time.

  • Just Someone by Just Someone
  • 8 years ago

I know how you feel I put on a mask everyday and night from my friends and family, I'm always smiling yet I feel broken, trust me I've been wearing my mask for two years now and no one has yet saw beyond my mask and seen my feelings, they just assume I'm fine when I say I'm fine.

I just want you all to know that I have read every single submission on this poem, and that I am touched beyond words that it has reached so many people, if only in the capacity of giving voice to emotions.

Please know that some day you will find the place that fits you. The mask will fall off and you won't even feel the urge to retrieve it.

From author to readers, I hope that you find everything you could possibly want in life.

-sincerely
Troy Bunker

  • Jaci Lynch by Jaci Lynch, Louisiana
  • 8 years ago

I wrote this poem down and gave it to a friend who is having a hard time. I recently found out that she was going to kill herself but this poem in that letter saved her.

I just want to let you know that this touched my heart. I am glad beyond words that something I wrote was able to help your friend in any small way.

Please tell your friend that the author said stay strong, things will get better.

Thank you for taking the time to post this, I am always overjoyed to see how I was able to touch people's lives.

  • Nolan Cox by Nolan Cox
  • 9 years ago

I feel like this so many times. Every day I wear a mask. Hiding my feelings from other people. Just so I don't get picked on, ridiculed, mocked.

  • Jenne Goodwin by Jenne Goodwin, Colorado
  • 8 years ago

Just remember that you're not alone. I have been through some hard stuff, too. Some cold, pain. People teasing because they don't know what it is to be me. I've learned that it's their mask that shrouds their emotions too. Everyone is going through something. It may not be severe, but it is something. You are not alone.

  • Tatum Green by Tatum Green, Mississippi
  • 9 years ago

This... This explains my life so well I cried. Every day in the hallway at school someone stops me and says "hey you ok?" and I put on a smile and say "yeah I'm good." Just today Mrs. Smith pulled me over in the hall and said "Hey you ok? You have such a serious expression!" And I just nodded thinking "it's more of a glower, ma'am..." But honestly I'm kinda dying inside so... But hey only rainbows after rain!

  • Nafia Atam by Nafia Atam
  • 9 years ago

There are always rainbows after rains and the only thing you can do is to wait for them.Yes its true that pain come our way but it teaches us many valuable things and makes us ready to face coming challenges of life so don't only smile before others but also try to do it before yourself. I understand and I too was going through the same phase of life.

  • Avneet by Avneet, Australia
  • 9 years ago

Reading all these sad stories about life for some people is so sad. I cry for those who are in the darkness. I hope you feel the support from me and I encourage you if you ever feel alone, don't worry because God is always with you wherever you go so please, you are never alone.

  • Gill by Gill, Wales Uk
  • 9 years ago

My dad withdrew himself I used to ask how are you? "not bad" he would reply bluntly..
I knew something wasn't right he seemed depressed he tried to hide it but I knew and he wouldn't attempt to talk, I think he wanted to but wanted to protect us at the same time? Wish I had approached him sooner maybe it wouldn't have changed anything but him just knowing how much I cared and I would have supported him..... I was afraid of rejection and infringing his privacy. We must talk..not hide behind a mask.
It's too late for me and my Dad now he had enough, R.I.P

  • Agnes by Agnes, Selangor
  • 9 years ago

This poem is exactly how I feel - wearing a mask the whole day until I close my eyes. I'm always pretending I'm okay physically and mentally but the truth is I'm fed up with the situation..
When my friend sends me emails asking how I am, I say, "beauty never fades" still the same, hehe but honestly I'm suffering badly and it's difficult for me to let this out and let people see what's really inside of me.

  • Mae by Mae, Philippines
  • 10 years ago

I know how its feel, hiding in a mask is what I do everyday. No one around me knows about what I really feel. I am not good in pretending but I am good in hiding. It's just that, I don't want them to feel what I feel. So I chose to keep it alone. But honestly, sometimes I want to give up, Finding myself crying at night is really a hard time for me. Every day is a day of loneliness...................

  • German by German, California
  • 10 years ago

This poem just explains my life. I go through hardships then I lock my pain away because it hurts to see others in pain but mostly it's just that I feel I'm a burden to everyone.

  • Desiree by Desiree, Colorado
  • 12 years ago

I have felt this way for years. Hiding it from my friends and family. Not wanting to alarm anyone. And every once in awhile the mask starts to chip away and I have to put it back. Because no matter how many times I try to help them understand how I feel, they just never do.

  • Cheyenne by Cheyenne, California.
  • 12 years ago

I know how you feel, I really do. I try as hard as I can to hide my pain and sorrow, behind a mask. I could never tell anyone what is really going on, because they would not believe me, since I am so good at hiding it.
It makes me feel even more trapped.

  • Layla by Layla, New York
  • 12 years ago

I always joke and laugh with my friends.....that's my mask cause when I'm home all I do is cry because I don't feel love from my brother or my father just my mom without my mom I would kill myself. I hate my brother and it's not some stupid stage teenage crap I really hate him for all the things he did to me. I wish he would die and my dad would go live with his slutty girlfriend instead of her because all he does is yell I hate my life I wish sometimes I was never born.

  • Cameron by Cameron, Beijing
  • 9 years ago

Yeah, I do that too. It really annoys one of my teachers and I want to stop but I don't know how. I just laugh and joke around so much because that's how I get through life. I sometimes hate my life too and wish I was never born...but, you just have to "keep calm and carry on". That's how you show your strength: by not giving up. My sympathies for everyone who commented on this poem!

  • Andrea by Andrea, USA
  • 12 years ago

I wear a mask every day. This poem is exactly how I feel and has put into words what I think every day but can't express to people around me.

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