41. A Storm In The Mind
In the shadows of silence, it stirs
A whisper, unseen but felt.
Like a ghost
With a grip like iron, emotions to melt.
In the shadows of silence, it stirs
A whisper, unseen but felt.
Like a ghost
With a grip like iron, emotions to melt.
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A storm is coming, my chest is tightening and it's hard to breathe.
Like a giant noose, life is smothering me.
I would do anything to not feel this pain.
Make it stop, I want to laugh again.
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Dear Mom,
Have you forgotten?
Sitting, waiting, hoping
O.C.D., those evil eyes that stare at me,
That bully in my head,
Obsession, obsession, obsession,
Is all that can be said.
Anxiety rips me out of my sleep, a shock to my system like a bucket of ice water.
I open my eyes to see a demon hovering near the ceiling; fighting it will lead to my slaughter.
These demons cover the Earth like the oxygen we can't see.
The fire that rages
from within my rib cage is
weakening the bones
that should make me strong.
One thousands beats per second
It hammers ‘gainst my chest
I feel it in my temples
Tonight there’ll be no rest
I send anxiety
a cease and desist letter.
I close her mouth.
Unbind her gnawing disquiet,
She can be a handful.
Yes, this is true.
But you won't look at her
In the ways that I do.
Famous Poem
Here,
in the room of my life
the objects keep changing.
Ashtrays to cry into,
In the early hours,
As most should be sleeping,
I sit in our bedroom window and perform a ritual.
Smoking a cigarette, wrapped tightly in a blanket,
I don't know how to tell you I'm afraid without feeling weak.
I don't know how to tell you I'm hurting and how I wish this pain would cease.
I don't know how to tell you I'm lonely without feeling incomplete.
I don't know how to tell you I'm tired and how I wish this burden would decrease.
Slippery, sweet, syrupy words sticking in my brain
A lie
They won't go away no matter how much I try to send them back to where they came from
A lie
Turmoil covers my eyes and my heart.
It never leaves me in day or dark.
Combat changed me to this way.
Hate and death seem to be with me to stay.
Flashbacks run through my mind
My hands find their way to my hair
They grab, pull, scratch
"STOP IT!" I try to scream
hello, I love you, goodbye.
Sometimes I wonder why I try.
most days seem the same;