Outside The Door

How am I supposed to trust You
When You feel so far away?
How can I grow closer to You
When it is here I am forced to stay?

You gave me so many promises,
And none of them have come true.
I am still knocking on the door
And asking and seeking for You.

I thought it was Your desire
To fill me with living water,
Yet I am still stuck in the mire
And thirsting for You, my Father.

It has been a whole year, Lord,
And I still cannot hear Your Word.
I have this terrible growing fear
That You will leave me here.

God, my faith is so, so thin.
My spirit is completely dry.
I don't know how all this fits in,
And I don't understand the reason why.

I hate feeling separated from You
And this frustration in my heart.
I do not know what to do
Or where to even start.

Is all my seeking in vain?
Am I too confused to find You?
The only thing I find is pain
And confusion over what I should do.

"Ask and you will receive," You said.
"Seek and you will find."
Lord, all I want is You, my Friend,
And peace within my mind.

My hand is sore from knocking
And my voice from pleading at the door.
My entire world is rocking,
And yet You continue to ignore.

Frustration is all I feel inside,
And I'm losing sight of You.
I want Your guidance in my life.
Please tell me what I should do.

Lord, I am tired. Don't You care?
I am ready to just give up.
This searching is more than I can bear.
All of this is just too much.

I cannot take a single step
Without You guiding me.
I have no idea what to do next.
Oh God, please do not leave!