Grief On Mother's Day

Lord, are there roses in your garden
On the shores of jubilee
Would you pick a dozen of your best
And deliver them for me?
For you see, today is mothers' day
And I can't visit my mom
For it wasn't very long ago
The angels came and took her home.
So if there are roses in your garden
On the shores of Jubilee
Would you pick a dozen of your best
And deliver them for me?
Would you take them to my mother
And tell her that I love her.
Tell her that I miss her
In oh!  So many ways
But I have joy in knowing
We'll meet again someday
And we'll pick roses together
On the shores of Jubilee..

I smelt the smile of childhood
I had woken up and smiled
It was my mother's cooking
And I was just a child

But I had long been married
And this was but a dream
And I was missing mum
Or her cooking it would seem

So I woke my wife up and kissed her
And wished her happy mothers day
The mother of my children
Even more special on this special day

Then in the early morning's dark
I hurried off to mums -still sleeping still alone
For it had been many years
Since my father's soul had flown

I started cooking in her kitchen
All the ingredients were still there
And soon the familiar smell of home
Was hanging in the air

Mum woke and ambled into the room
Disoriented she thought I was her long gone man
And she gave a little sigh and whimpered
When she realized it was only her son Sam

As tears filled her eyes she whispered
I still miss him son I do
For in the early morning's light
He looked so much like you

And my mother's day always began
Much as you have there
With breakfast in the kitchen
And Dean Martin in the air

And we would dance our little dance
As we did on the day we met
Oh God my son I miss him
I miss him so much yet

So I put the record on
And Deano rose through the gloom
And I gently twirled my mother
Around that little room

And we were both crying as we danced
There was nothing I could do
And it took all the strength I had to whisper
To whisper 'mum I miss him so much too'

But she did not hear she was not there
She was hearing nothing then
For in her mind's eye and soul
She was dancing with her man again

And I could see in her eyes
The sparkle that another man had seen
When he was twenty one
And she was just sixteen

And the love that passed between them
I have seen so many times
In the generation who came before us
Who experienced the worst of times

Did surviving poverty depression war
Make them better women and men
Did they simply need each other more
Or were they better people then

Has prosperity peace and greed
Altered the balance of love somehow
Did they love each more
Then we love each other now

And sure love exists in our generation
Though it seems so much less so
Are we so very different now
Then the souls of long ago

But the music finally ended
Together with the remnants of the night
Mum's stoicism returned and she said
"go home to your wife son I will be alright'

So I quickly turned to go
There was nothing left to say
To this little woman who had borne me
"Except happy Mothers' Day
To My unforgettable indispensable ever loving mum"

If heaven had a window and God granted me a view
of all the beauty it beholds, I'd only look for you.
I'd listen for your laughter that was always music to me.
Your beautiful hair and hazel eyes are what I'd wish most to see.
If I could only view once more the smile that warmed my heart,
I'd treasure that moment as long as I live and we must be apart.
Here on earth I search for you and pray to God for signs,
and every day that passes you're still with me in my mind.
I know you're happy in heaven; you've earned your mansion indeed.
I imagine your kitchen table and you waiting there for me.
I love you and I miss you more than words can say,
and what I wouldn't give just to talk to you today.
I hope that you can hear me and listen to my thoughts,
and wherever this life takes me you know I've not forgotten
that once upon a time I was blessed and loved, it's true,
and if heaven had a window I'd only look for you.

I still miss you
As the weeks and years go by.

I still miss you
Like the clouds would miss the sky.

I still miss you
Like a bird without its wings.

I still miss you
Like a flower without the joys of spring.

I still miss you
As I greet another day.

I still miss the love we shared
And the memories we both made.

I'm so alone, it's so dark...
When is the sun going to shine again?

The sky is dark, my world is grey....
When are the flowers going to bloom and make this hurt go away?

My mommy is gone, I feel her presence...
The thought of not seeing her again takes my breath away.

The hurt, the pain, I cannot describe...
It's like my blood quit flowing inside.

I wake up each morning to begin a new day
In hopes that this hollow feeling will go away.

My thoughts of my Mommy bring happiness and peace...
Then the truth overcomes, and I feel so incomplete.

I know she loves me, and she is free of pain,
But I would love to see her again.

I'm so alone, it's so dark...
When is the sun going to shine again?

If I could pick one day to have her here,
I'd choose it to be this Mother's Day.
This occasion out of all the others,
It's going to be harder than words could say.

On that one day we'll do it all,
And I wouldn't waste a single minute.
I'd keep going all day, hour after hour,
And If I got tired I would never quit.

Just knowing it was my last chance
To show her all of my love.
Because it must be hard for her to see,
Watching from up above.

I'd make her a very special card,
As I make them for people all the time.
But hers wouldn't be like the rest,
Above all others hers would shine.

It would say Dear Mom, I love you,
I'm proud to be your daughter.
Then I'd hug her tightly
And hold her while I've got her.

She'd French braid my hair in the end,
Just like she always used to.
I'd smile at her when it was done,
And say, "Oh mom, I love you!"

I'd tell her how scared I am,
Because my surgery is the next day.
But she'd tell me she'd be with me,
Holding my hand all the way.

I'd cry when it was dark out,
Knowing the day would soon end.
Although she won't be here forever,
In my dreams I can always pretend.

I fall down on my knees and begin to cry.
For I never wanted you to leave my side.
I wanted you to be by my side forever and ever.
And I wanted to leave your side never.
For you were my mom and I'll love you forevermore.
Every trouble I went through, you're the one who opened the door.
I lie on the ground crying more than ever before.
I had so little memories and I wanted much more.
I was too caught up in my friends.
I never had time to spend.
I want you back; it's not fair.
A mom like you was very rare.
I love you, I love you, please come back.
My whole life just fell off track.
Now that you're gone, I have nowhere to go.
I need you here; there's so much more I need to know.
I miss you, I wish it never turned out this way.
Now that you're gone, there's so much to say.
I'm sorry for the fun times I could have spent with you.
This isn't happening; it can't be true!
I love you, I love you, PLEASE come back home.
Now that you're gone, I'm all alone.

As Mother's Day approaches,
it fills me with such dread.
Whilst others have their mothers,
mine's gone, not here; she's dead.

I see the cards and flowers around.
To see it, it breaks my heart.
I see people buying presents,
I see them buy their cards.

My heart, it aches, the tears well up.
I feel I want to cry.
Why did I lose my mother?
Why did she have to die?

Although mum's now in heaven,
safe with angels and pain free,
when mum died and left this world,
her pain passed on to me.

We had a special love,
my best friend, my teacher, too.
Oh, I wish I could be in heaven.
I so long to be with you.

So now I walk this earth
an orphan child am I.
No partner, kids, no family.
Is this it till I die?

So I'll be with you this Mother's Day.
At your grave is where I'll be.
Some flowers I will place upon you
and think back to times you were with me.

Memories and photographs are all
that now remain,
till my time comes when my life is done
and we finally meet again.

There was once a person who made me feel safe,
held my hand when I began to fall from grace.

This person was my mother; she's the one I miss.
She brought me love and endless happiness.

On November 11th 2001, you died, leaving me all alone,
Oh, how I cried.

Why did you have to go? Please tell me why.
Now I have to drink and do drugs just to get by.

I wish you were here, Mom. I miss you so much.
No one even knows what I would give for just one touch.

Why does everyone else get to have their moms near?
Do they know I'd give anything to have my mother here?

I'm sad and lost. Mom, will you help me find my way?
Will you get rid of the tears I cry each day?

I know the answer, and the answer is no,
'cause for me to move on, I have to let you go.

Mom, I love you and thank you for all you did for me,
and I hope someday I make you proud for whatever comes to be.

For all those who have a mother, please hold her tight,
and never say you hate her, even when you fight.

For you never know when she might have to go,
and the pain that it brings ... I hope you never have to know!!

I have a special locket that rests above my heart,
it holds your beautiful pictures while we must be apart.
It's my hope that you're still with me no matter come what may,
so I know that I can talk to you every single day.
When I walk into a storm you're watching over there,
guiding me to sunny skies with tender loving care.
I'll never have to be alone you're always next to me,
you show me love in different ways the eyes could never see.
Your spirit fills my soul with love beyond any explanation,
with pride I'll wear it every day in total admiration.
Of the woman who changed my life and patiently awaits,
arms wide open to welcome me when I reach heaven's gates.
It's never really good bye if in your heart you do believe,
a mother's love is endless, and never ever leaves.

As I sit here and wonder how things would have turned out,
Not to have been part of your life was there ever a doubt.
I would see you again, just didn't know when.
A long time has passed, wondering how you have been.
Just to see your face one last time is something I never would have thought,
You have been on my mind all this time, something that I had always and never forgot.
The lessons that I learned from you, made each day more pleasant,
Your teachings of everyday life were such a warm and needed present.
I leave you now knowing you are safe in his arms,
No more pain or suffering, away from all harm.
Rest with the angels, until we all will see you once more.
We love and have missed you, things we will always adore.
Watch over us now, for one day it will come.
When we are laughing and talking and having oh so much fun.
We miss you mom, but we are glad that you made it home.
We wouldn't have wanted it any other way even if it meant for us to be alone.