Poems by Pat Fleming

I'M STILL HERE

My looks are nothing special,
My face reveals my age,
My body shows some wear and tear,
And my energy's not the same.

Too often my memory fails me,
And I lose things all the time.
One minute I know what I plan to do,
And the next it may just slip my mind.

I try hard to avoid my mirror.
There are things I would rather not see,
And even those times when I just catch a glimpse,
I can no longer recognize me.

The things I used to do with ease
Can now cause aches and pains,
And the quality of the things I do
Will never be quite the same.

I always compare my older self
To those younger versions of me,
And I know I'm wasting too much time
Missing who I used to be.

But the thing that really makes me sad
Is despite what people see,
Underneath my tattered, worn out shell,
I'm still the same old me.

My heart can still feel endless love,
And at times it still can ache.
My heart can fill with so much joy,
And then it can suddenly break.

My soul can still feel sympathy
And longs for forgiveness and peace,
And there are times its light shines boldly through,
And times when it longs for release.

It's true, maybe now that I'm older,
Feeling lonely may be status quo,
But it also has made me more willing
To forgive and let past conflicts go.

So maybe to some I look ugly and old,
A person who barely exists.
I'm still quite aware of the beauty inside,
And my value should not be dismissed.

So although not as strong and no beauty, it's true,
I'm still here and want so much to live,
And I know that there's no one in this world quite like me,
And no one who has more to give.

I've always viewed life from the side lines,
Just watching it passing me by.
In the past, too afraid to just let go and live,
And lately too tired to try.

I've envied the people around me
So invested in living each day,
While I spent my time hiding out from the world
And searching for ways to escape.

For most of my life I truly believed
I was here to help somebody else,
But now it's so clear it was just an excuse.
To avoid living life for myself.

It's sad that our lives and the pain we endure
Can weaken our strength to move on,
But if we get lost in the scars of our past,
Without knowing our lives will be gone.

It's true, people are disappointing,
They can turn in the blink of an eye,
But we can't avoid hurting each other,
When we all want a chance at this life.

But there's something I've learned through the wisdom of age,
A truth about all of our lives,
And that is no matter what path we each take,
In the end, we just want to survive.

So the time has now come to conquer my fears
And to stand up and face a new day.
Let the hurts of my past wash away with my tears
And stop letting my life slip away.

The years have passed by
In the blink of an eye,
Moments of sadness
And joy have flown by.

People I loved
Have come and have gone,
But the world never stopped,
And we all carried on.

Life wasn't easy,
And the struggles were there,
Filled with times that it mattered,
Times I just didn't care.

I stood on my own,
And I still found my way,
Through some nights filled with tears,
And the dawn of new days.

And now with old age,
It's become very clear;
Things I once found important
Were not why I was here.

And how many things
That I managed to buy
Were never what made me
Feel better inside.

And the worries and fears
That plagued me each day,
In the end of it all,
Would just fade away.

But how much I reached out
To others when needed,
Would be the true measure
Of how I succeeded.

And how much I shared
Of my soul and my heart
Would ultimately be
What set me apart.

And what's really important,
Is my opinion of me,
And whether or not
I'm the best I can be.

And how much more kindness
And love I can show
Before the Lord tells me
It's my time to go.