Louise

Deep inside her mind,
Behind a picture-perfect smile,
Lies a desolate, lonely place
She hasn't visited for a while.

A place of worst nightmares
Where her demons lie in wait.
Their armour made of trauma,
memories she cannot shake.

Last time she was trapped there,
Equipped with razors and a knife,
She overdosed on tablets
And almost took her life.

For in this place there is no daylight,
And all her hope is gone.
Her eyes blind to any joy,
Even her own daughter and little son.

Nobody knows her struggles.
If only they would ask.
She didn't have to fight this alone
And hide behind a mask.

But she found the strength to leave
And journey onto the path to light,
Finding her hope along the way
While she regained her sight.

And it's sad, for she had done well
She had already made it so far.
Months with no self-injury.
Her cuts reduced to scars.

The clouds began to darken.
Harsh words pushing her back.
The light and hope began to dim
As she went backwards along the path.

And she tried so hard to fight,
To keep going forward, not back,
But the harsh words kept coming
As she put back on her mask.

Her fear began to return
As that dark place came into sight.
Her strength weakened by the day.
She was once again losing her fight.

And she didn't know how to stop it.
Her energy plummeted to the ground.
She screamed and shouted for help,
But nobody heard a sound.

She's now on the edge of the dark,
Again holding the razors and knife.
Please, someone help her; she's scared.
She doesn't want to lose her life.

Nine years ago, if you'd have said
I would be where I am now,
I would have laughed and thought you silly.
How could I escape my living hell?

At nine years old my life turned dark,
Until the age of seventeen
I was a victim of sexual abuse.
It was like living a bad dream.

At seventeen I told the police,
Only to be isolated and pushed aside.
I recanted my statement and returned
To a life of secrets and lies.

It didn't scare my abuser off,
Nor did it change how I felt.
It carried on until I was twenty-one
And I got the courage to walk out.

I struggled so much with my mental health
Over the following years.
I went off the rails and hurt myself
While trying to hide my tears.

One night things went horribly wrong
When I drank and everything went black.
I'd thrown myself off a fifteen foot wall,
Hit the floor and broke my back.

As I plummeted to the ground below,
My life flashed before my eyes.
I thought, "This is it. This is the end."
I thought I was ready to die.

Someone was watching over me that night.
For some reason, my life was saved.
Two days later I left the hospital
With nothing more than a back brace.

I fell deeply in love that day
With a man I knew from work.
He held my hand and smiled at me
Even though I probably looked my worst.

He gave me a home and cared for me
As I recovered from my fall.
He took on my past without regret,
Loved my scars, my charms, and flaws.

Two years later, my wish came true
When I gave birth to a baby girl.
She had beautiful, long, dark hair
And a face that changed my world.

Another year on came my baby boy
With blonde curly hair just like me.
His smile lit up my entire life
And made our family complete.

But a dark cloud hung over our heads.
My past wasn't going to die.
I spiralled into a bad depression
That almost claimed my life.

My children gave me incredible strength
As I spoke to the police once again.
Their investigation unearthed
I wasn't his only victim.

Two others have spoken out,
Because I took the brave step to fight.
My own sister is one of the two.
We stand together to do what's right.

I am twenty six years old now
And ready to start a new life
With my two children and fiance
Who will always be by my side.

Don't be scared to do what's best,
Because there is always a way out.
Take it from me, a survivor,
You can do it. I've no doubts!

My life has taken a turn for the good.
I have my children and a loving home.
If your world is dark right now,
Remember to never give up hope.

I couldn't find the right words
Nothing seemed to rhyme
To write something for you all
I think it will take time

Because when you have friends
That are very hard to find,
There's so much to say
Because you make everything all right.

So I will tell you right now
Exactly what I need to say
To show you how much I appreciate
You being there every day.

You're worth more than anyone,
Even a million pounds
Because you always know what to say
When I am feeling down.

You make me smile big smiles
And my days so very bright,
And when I lose my way,
You find me in the night.

I sometimes wish I could explain
How much you mean to me,
But it's just not possible
To list a billion things.

So I just wanted to say
I love you so, so much,
And I hope you never leave me.
Promise to stay in touch.