He came into my life
when I was just a little girl.
I was happy and young,
And then he changed my world.
One night I was in bed,
And he came to say goodnight,
except he took a little longer
before he turned out the light.
He really hurt me that night,
and I didn't know what to do.
I thought it happened to most,
to every little boy and girl.
I lay in bed that night
hurting inside and out.
Tears streaming down my face,
I tried hard not to shout out.
I put that tragic night
to the back of my head,
playing games at school;
there was nothing to be said.
A year had passed along,
and then it happened again.
My mum was out at work;
it was him and me again.
I was sat next to him
just watching the TV
when he pulled me close to him
and again molested me.
I thought it only happened once
when I had done something bad,
but now I knew I was wrong.
I felt alone and sad.
And 8 years on I got
the courage to tell someone.
The police got involved and stuff.
I was hated by my mum.
She kicked me out that day
and stuck right by his side,
saying I was attention-seeking
and that it was all lies.
So in the end it got too much,
and I told the police I lied.
Everything went back to normal
I swear I wish I'd died.
Everything was going well
until he sent me those texts
saying he would kill himself;
it was all my fault instead.
So I went back to the police
and told them it all again.
He's moved out for now.
It's investigating time again.
But my mum still hates me
and thinks it's all a lie.
I feel so alone right now.
I wish I would just die.
I've told a couple of friends,
but it's hard for them, you see,
to put up with something as stupid
as a teenager like me.
All I do is mope and cry
because no one understands
what I feel inside each day.
Please, someone take my hand.
I cut myself sometimes
when the pain gets too much.
I hate him for what he did
and where he used to touch.
I often think I'll run away
or step into the road.
My future seems so black and dim.
I'm only 17 years old.
And if the case is dropped,
he will come back home again,
and I'll be back to where I began...
in a world of sadness and pain.
I hope someone hears my cry
and says they understand.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm scared and on my own.
So you see, I'm stuck forever.
I just want to scream and shout,
but there's something you have to know.
That for me, there's no way out.
So many stories, and yet only one story repeated over and over again in different contexts perhaps, but we all share the crushing sadness of having someone we love betray us and leave us...
No Way Out From Sexual Abuse
Published by Family Friend Poems October 2008 with permission of the Author.
Louise, I totally feel you poem. I have finally at the age of 41 reported what happened to me to the police.
It bloody scary, mostly because I worried about being believed.
I can't tell you how happy I am to read that finally you got justice! And that bastard that hurt you got 15 yrs of his life hopefully suffering for what he has done to you.
Wishing you all the happiest in the world.
Hold your head up and live you life as full as you can xxx