Should Have Been 31 Weeks Today

• by Tyra Brasenell, England
• 11 years ago

We had to let our beautiful baby girl go just a week ago as she had severe spina bifida and would have suffered so much. I was 21 weeks and I don't think I will ever get over this pain, guilt and feeling of emptiness inside. This poem just sums it up perfectly.

• by Lori C. Hyde, Penn Valley Ca.
• 11 years ago

26 weeks my baby died inside me and I never knew, had headaches for a couple of days. Went for my six month exam and they said something was wrong. So I gathered my five year old waiting outside in the office, I knew at that point that my world was going to fall apart for awhile, dropped the five year old daughter off at her nursery school and told them it was a family emergency, please keep her. Then I went home and had a breakdown. Called my sister in New Jersey, who screamed out loud. When I felt a little stronger I went back as I was supposed to talk to my OB/GYN. I knew already He told me that the baby was dead, they didn't want to make me deliver him by labor. He was afraid I would have a breakdown, too late. Took him out of my body after putting Japanese leaves of sorts in my vagina the night before, then I went in at 6 a.m. two days later to have him pulled out. I asked what or who he looked like, they said he was too macerated. Oh God Help take me now. NOOOOOO!

• by Sean Paul, Rochester New York
• 11 years ago

It never gets easy my son was delivered at 34 weeks. My only child my beautiful baby boy. When I went for my 34 week check up all was well I felt his little feet in my ribs. That night of Oct. 8th 1988 I stopped feeling my baby boy moving inside me. I knew something was wrong I went to the doctor to find out my baby boy has became God's angel. I held him inside me for another 24 hours praying I would wake up and Sean would be breathing. On Oct. 10 1988 Sean came into the world sleeping for good. I held his little body and cried until I had to give him away.

• by Jenn Ma
• 12 years ago

Trying to deal with my loss is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. August 17th I went for my routine monthly check up I was 17 weeks...they couldn't find a heartbeat sent me for ultrasound. They found a heartbeat but told me my water broke and there was no fluid my son was being squished no room with no fluid....didn't even know my water broke......had to go to hospital and spent almost 48 hours in labor. My son was born August 19 and never had a chance......you never picture yourself leaving the maternity ward without a baby. Don't feel like I will ever be happy again.

• by Joanna Manchester
• 12 years ago

We lost our beautiful granddaughter Italia at 38 weeks she was buried on the 21st December and was due on the 23rd December. We never expected this in a million years she just fell asleep in her mummys tummy, a special angel born with wings its torn us apart how cruel is life. My thoughts go out to anyone who has lost a child its such a terrible thing to try and live with xxx

• by Jackie Reed, New Mexico
• 13 years ago

I feel as if I am a baby learning how to cope
No idea where to start but still holding on to hope
My mind cannot comprehend the void that holds me down
Nor will it soon mend the pieces of you not around.
Somehow I wake up and it's still not clear to me
that every morning I kissed your cheek is now in memory.
In the moment of conception it had been my whole perception that my pair of two was done
First we had a baby girl and now our perfect son.
We were complete our seeds had sprout and our masterpiece was finished.
To soon your sister and you together
that should have been forever
so very quickly had diminished.
So for now I sit awaiting for the next day to come and go
and sit here in my reminisce of the great life not long ago.
A life when I would wake and gently caress your face and watch you as you sleep soundly so full of life and grace.
And hold your sisters little hand while she lay in slumber at your side
And kiss you both from head to toe and still in rest you smile wide.
After I had waken up and morning chores were done
I could not wait to finish and hold my brand new son.
A bond that only God can see and only He could understand
the love so great between you and me more than every grain of sand.
Oh how I miss your coos and giggles and your bubbles that you blow
and how I lay my head upon your chest to hear lively sounds below.
I regret that at times you would cry while I was busy around the home.
I hope you know it made me so sick and pray you didn't feel alone.
I wanted to hold you every moment of every day
but if I did so many things would have gone astray.
I wish I had an extra chance and an extra arm to grow
then because I could've kept you warm and safe and never let you go.
I am so grateful your last night I didn't put you in your bed
and I am grateful that you cried all night and did not let dad rest his head.
AS soon as you quieted down I held you on my tummy
and patted your little back asleep while you stay sucking on your sucky.
And while I laid you down next to me at my side
You were so very quiet but your eyes still open wide.
I had not noticed until now that you earnest starry eyes
did not just hold your love for me but also your goodbyes.
I kissed your forehead snuggled you close and watched your eyes grow weary.
No sooner were you fast sleep had my eyes grew teary....

• by Keila. Springfield MA
• 13 years ago

As I was reading this poem my feelings were just awakened. It's really sad to not see your lil angel but what hurts the most is hearing people say things are meant to happen. It hurts so much and I'm sure that they went thro the same thing they would have not said it. I lost my baby when I was 19 weeks. The day I was suppose to see if it was a boy or girl. That same day the doc gave me some pills to make me have contractions and have my dead child in the house. My baby was dead since the 12th week but my body didn't recognize it. January 4 was my first ultrasound and the last. Deep inside I knew something was wrong because I was always sick but the doc never cared enough to check. I blamed myself for so long. After that happened I had an idea but I didn't take a test until 2 months after.. when by baby was already dead and was dead for 7 weeks inside me. it hurt. I'll always blame myself.

• by Lucy, NY
• 13 years ago

Everything about this poem touched me dearly.. it is exactly how I am feeling. My son was born on 4-19-11. I was only 20 weeks pregnant. Nicholas lived for 6 hrs but everyone told me there was nothing they could do for him so they didn't bother trying to even help him :-( worse feeling in the world is not being able to do anything to protect your child. I should be all happy and fat and wobbling but instead I'm walking around with a fake smile pretending that everything is okay. I'm truly sorry for your loss and I hope you found peace with everything.

• by Scarlet
• 13 years ago

I lost my baby too. At 26 weeks. I never even imagined what that meant- birthing a dead baby never seemed like a possibility and the sadness one feels is inexplicable. I feel your loss and I am sorry. I am trying to find a way to deal with the pain myself and I just blogged about it since I am a blogger and that is what I do. It felt good to get it out

• by Jennie, Florida
• 13 years ago

I was 24 weeks and 6 days with identical twin girls. On January 19th 2011 I went in to labor. 20 hr in labor and the nurses kept telling I was not in labor. 3 hr before I was put under for the c-section a dr. came in to find out that I was in labor. they tried to give me meds to stop the labor but it was to late. my girls came at 12:05 both at 1 lb 10 oz and 12 in. they worked on both babies and only one of my girls survived. she is now in the NICU @ Shans hosp in FL. fighting for her life. As we sit here trying to be happy for my baby girl that is alive, we still have that emptiness in our hearts for our little angle girl we lost. I know what your going though. we just have to try to keep on going.

• by April Williams
• 13 years ago

It has only been 1 month and 3 days for me my son was 5 months old and I held him until his last breath and I feel your pain. I'm so sorry you have to feel this no one should have to feel this. It isn't easy and takes a hold on you, but as I tell myself just keep going don't stop you will see your baby again

• by Tiffany, Hi
• 14 years ago

I lost my baby boy 6 months ago, I was 36 weeks. I heard my babies heart beat the day before it stopped and the doctor said everything was normal. Your poem explains everything I feel. I would give everything to hear my babies heartbeat again and to hold him just one more time.

• by Breanna, KY
• 14 years ago

I was 28 weeks pregnant when my daughter hadn't moved all morning...I knew something was wrong but never dreamed that she didn't have a heartbeat...I didn't know what to do I had never felt this pain in my life...she was a beautiful baby and I was so ready to be a mother... I'm 17 and I had my daughter May 26,2010 it's hard to talk about but it really is the best thing to do...

• by Tori, NZ
• 14 years ago

I lost my baby at 11 weeks, it cut me deep. My boyfriend's gone to work hard and save up but I told him baby was gone , it was the most distraught I had ever seen him , he's a strong man that has been to hell and back and this was the way up for us together . Baby's gone and we can't seem to get pregnant again :'( I can't get over it .

• by Shannon, MA
• 14 years ago

I lost my baby at 9 weeks, just last week, the pain is unbearable. I loved your poem and there is no other words to express the pain we are feeling. I will pray for you and your family as I pray to heal my wounds. Stay strong.

• by Tahirah
• 14 years ago

I know how you feel. I was pregnant with twins and lost them at 16 weeks. its hard but it'll get easier. Stay strong.

• by jolie
• 15 years ago

My baby was due this week I lost her at 5 months
I'm having a ceremony for her this week on her due date

I was only 19 and I hate when people tell me I've plenty of time to have more, but now my boyfriend has a really low sperm count and she was probably our only chance

• by Anna
• 15 years ago

I totally get your pain it is different for everyone I just lost my little girl 2 weeks ago I was 22 weeks and it was too early. I never thought at age 23 I would have to bury one of my kids.

• by Misty
• 15 years ago

I know how you feel I too lost a child way to soon. Take your time, it does get easier. The pain never goes away, I lost my son 7 months ago. Stay strong!!