I'm sitting here mystified and numbed with pain
To lose someone so close, yet so far away.
Some say you can't lose something you never had.
If that's true, then how can I feel this sad?
I felt closer to you, my child
More than anyone else around me
Because I felt you so deep within me.
So small, no eye could see
Yet so full of life was felt already.
Disbelief and uncertainty consume my brain
As the tears fall like rain.
Heart pounding hard, feels like thunder.
The sorrow and anguish down under just can't be explained.
Was I being punished for a sin I committed?
Was I to learn something from this and just didn't get it?
Please God, answer me... what did I do to deserve this?
Does he know how much I love him?
'Cause it's your job now to tell him!
I already miss him... I'd do anything to kiss him...
To hold him and embrace the mere presence of him.
I can only hope for one of these days
He comes back to me, this time to stay.
To find it deep within his heart
To give me the chance for a brand new start!
Dedicated to my unborn child, 2006
Poem Not Understanding Why Son Was Taken
My eldest son came with his arm held high to the sky. His identical twin brother came with him, modest and his hand holding his mamma's thigh. They were born a miracle at 23 weeks gestation....
An Unfinished Life
Published by Family Friend Poems December 2009 with permission of the Author.
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I lost 2 sets of twins. The first miscarriage was in 2011 and then again in 2012. The sadness never truly goes away, The pain never goes away.