A Letter To My Unborn Child

• by Shelly
• 3 years ago

I'm 52 years old. I lost baby number one at 10 weeks. I was 18. I lost baby number 2 at 7 weeks...I had a baby girl in 1990. I had a baby boy in 1991. I lost baby 5 just as I figured out I was pregnant. I had a daughter in 1995. I still mourn the loss of my three lil babies. My two daughters have each given me one grandchild, and I have several great nieces and nephews. I love each and every one of them...but they sadly can't take away the ache of my three lost babies even all these years later...I can honestly say I feel for each one of you who shared your heartache!

• by Vanessa R. Rogerson
• 6 years ago

I gave birth to my son, David Andrew, who was born asleep on January 16, 1990. I, still to this day, grieve for him immensely. I did poems to try and express the terrible loss and the madness and turmoil I felt. It helped a little, but no matter how long since the loss of losing our much wanted child, the thoughts of that day will always be with us.

• by Sweetie
• 7 years ago

You died in me during the first three months before I could give birth to you. I can't tell what went wrong, but the love your father and I shared with you seems to keep you in my womb even when your heart was not beating anymore. It hurts so much seeing you in that ultrasound holding mama tight despite not being alive. It breaks my heart. You were supposed to be my joy, my strength, my laughter, and my love in this wicked world. I waited for you three good years, but finally came and left me without saying goodbye. My child, you don't know what mama passed through losing you, but in all I give God the glory. My dream for you was big. I worked so hard planning to welcome you, but like I said I don't know what happened. Maybe I stressed so much because of the dream I have for you. Today you made mama blame herself and cry too much, but my little cutie, I know you have gone now and my crying cannot bring you back. Mama will never forget you. My heart dropped when I was told you were not breathing anymore. Goodbye.

• by LN
• 8 years ago

I got married in July and my husband and I were surprised when found that I was pregnant 3 months later. We were over the moon at how lucky we had been to fall pregnant so soon. However, our perfect little world completely fell apart on Wednesday 30th November 2016. That was the day of our dating scan when the Sonographer broke the news that our baby had passed away. I should have been 13 weeks pregnant, but our baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks for no known reason. What was also bewildering was that my body had not yet realized that this had happened and I had been experiencing the usual effects of early pregnancy.

I'm still at home, signed off work whilst I recover from the medicinal management process, and my emotions keep bouncing between pure pain and feeling that it couldn't have happened to us. How could we go from being so happy to so sad in such a short space of time? Thank you for sharing this poem and helping me to heal.

• by Sandra J
• 8 years ago

A date I will never forget: 08/14/15.
A few days before our Caribbean vacation I began bleeding immensely. On the 10th day I began to think something was wrong because my period doesn't normally last that long and isn't that heavy. I went to a doctor privately who told me I was pregnant. I became ecstatic immediately, only to be shut down and told that I was losing my baby. I was having a miscarriage without even knowing that I was pregnant. I'm leaving my teenage years now, and although I'm young it's still heartbreaking because I lost a part of me. My boyfriend at the time wasn't as supportive as I wanted him to be mainly because we were not in the same country when I found out. One year, three months later, it still aches to know that my angel was taken away from me and although I know my baby is looking down on mama, I wish my baby was right here with me.

• by Chelsey Mickey
• 8 years ago

This past March 16, 2016, my worst nightmare came true. I was 20 weeks and 6 days pregnant and just found out the week before that my husband and I were expecting a bouncy baby boy we planned on naming William after my husband. I had known I had placenta previa since the time I was 10 weeks pregnant. I had lost my son due to placenta abruption. My placenta detached from my uterus. I was told that if I didn't have a d&e done that I, too, would die. And that my son was too young to live outside the womb. My world came to a standstill, my heart shattered into a billion pieces. And although I walked out the hospital with my body still alive, I died that day with my son. I have not been the same person I was before it all happened. I look in the mirror sometimes and don't know the person looking back at me.

• by David
• 8 years ago

After her first child was born, my daughter was told that she would likely never be able to have another. Still, she stayed on birth control pills. Six years later, she was pregnant.

Yesterday, my wife took off work to go with her to her ultrasound. They were going to find out whether she was going to have a boy or a girl. I thought it would be a girl, our first granddaughter.

Instead, they were unable to find a heartbeat.

We aren't going to have a granddaughter, or a grandson, at all this time. Our grandson won't be getting a little brother or sister. This is so hard. This isn't how things were supposed to go.

Thank you for this poem. It has helped me sort out some of my feelings. I only hope I can be strong enough to help my wife and daughter through this.

• by Taighlyr
• 9 years ago

I was nine years old when I started my menstrual cycle. I was fourteen years old when my doctor diagnosed me with polycystic ovary syndrome. I found out I was pregnant on April 29th, 2011. I was having problems with my boyfriend, I was homeless and had no family in the area because I had moved to be closer to him. He was not happy to find out I was pregnant, but I was overjoyed. It was July 14th, 2011 when I was attacked by someone I considered a friend, who had been asked by my boyfriend to get rid of the baby. At the hospital they did an ultrasound, but couldn't find a heartbeat. It wasn't until two days later, when I started bleeding, that I realized what had happened. I cried and cried and cried. I still cry to this day, and I haven't been pregnant since. I had had dreams of a little girl, and I knew in my heart that's what my baby was. I named her Sapphire, and I called her Little One. I have nothing for her, except my memories. I ache to hold her, hear her voice, see her face.

• by Tima, New York
• 9 years ago

I don't have much to say... I just need help coping with this terrible loss in my life. I have never felt this way before, I never knew how much you can love someone so much until I lost my babies. I just need someone to talk to, I'm always depressed.

• by Lacey Allen, Pennsylvania
• 9 years ago

It has been 5 days since I lost my baby due to a miscarriage. I was just about 12 weeks along. I was so excited about ending the first trimester and almost entering the second. Everyone, myself included were convinced the baby was a girl. I called and still call her my 'Lily Bell.'
I think about her everyday. Little things like the color of her eyes and hair. Honestly, I think about everything that has anything to do with her. I can't look at a baby without my eyes filling with tears. Tears for the loss of my unborn baby.
I do have a 7 year old son who adores his Dad. That typical Father and Son bond... Whom I love dearly.
Yet she was supposed to be mine. According to all the Mothers of Girls that I've talked with, there is nothing like the relationship between a Mother and Daughter. The bond is so deep and everlasting. I yearned for that.. I still do.
Now, all I feel is emptiness, guilt, and this awful ache that I have never felt. Knowing I won't ever get the chance to really know my Lily Bell is the most pain of all.
I could keep going on and on about how I feel but everyone here has felt that same ache. That loss of someone you love so much. But haven't even got to see or hold in your arms. All you have is your dreams and Faith if you're lucky enough to have.
To all the Mothers on here, I understand your pain. I feel that pain every second of every day.
No one else can truly understand unless you've actually been through it. I am sorry for each and every one of your losses. Just as I'm sorry for my 'Lily Bell'

• by April And Johnny Alabama
• 10 years ago

It was 1999 when I was showering and quickly realized something was going wrong. Went to the hospital and as the lady did the ultrasound she said hunny I don't see the heartbeats nor the sac. I went to my parents house and told them of my loss and nobody knew what to say nor do. I cried. I went home and told my husband. He too didn't know what to say or do. He made sure I was comfortable and he went outside. He never really talked about this until last year around Christmas. He told me that we should give our baby angel a name. In honor of the wonderful women in our lives we named her "Lil Lula Beulah". We now have a 10 year old daughter. Last night she came to me and she said Mommy I wrote a song. I said that's good baby let me hear it. At my surprise she started it out with Oh Lula Beulah I really miss you even though I never got the chance to meet YOU. I cried as she struggle to finish the rest of her precious song about her big sister we never met. I'm not sure how to deal with the pain that I still have years later. I know that our lil Angel is in a much better place. So missing the baby I carried for 12 weeks but never got the joy of holding or seeing her precious face. The pain never goes away but with every day that goes by things get a little better. R.I.P. LULA BEULAH.

• by Sharlotte, Gauteng
• 10 years ago

2014/02/14. That was the day I lost my two little angles in my life....!
I tried doing abortion over and over again but the moment I heard the heartbeats of them, I felt in love with them but it was too late.
I woke up in the morning not feeling so good, when I went to the toilet I had a huge pain in my stomach way to my private part, the moment I set down to the sit of a toilet, I felt a pain where I should push so hard that my too little boys came out of me, "alive" I was really happy, to hold them in my arms, there was blood all over the bathroom, I didn't care much because I didn't want to let them go in my hands...for few minutes I realized I am losing them coz they were not moving the way they were. My first boy then became cold and I tried saving him by covering him with towel, but that was too late for me, the other one stopped moving while I had him in my hands, I knew God is taking them from me but I begged him not to, I was late too. He became cold, I couldn't let them go. I cried for hours at the bathroom, "my boys are gone" that was the last thing I wanted to lose in my life, I can't look at myself in the mirror and say am proud to who I am today, I miss them, I love them, I want them, I want to touch them, I want to hold them, I want them with me...
I wish I can die, just to be with them, they are my everything, I miss there little tiny cry, little hands and they so cute like my boyfriend...
But well they are my angels from heaven that will look after me while I have no one.
I cry every single day and I can't stop thinking about them...It hurts so much, it hurts so much?? I feel like my life is over.
I will always love you my boys...mummy loves you till we meet again in heaven...
R.I.P JR's

• by Janel, Baltimore
• 10 years ago

I lost my angel on May 31, 2014. It was a boy and I was 18 weeks pregnant. I think about and miss him everyday. I am 22 years old and this was my first pregnancy. The people at the hospital couldn't really tell me why the miscarriage was happening but I had a gut feeling that something was wrong. Once they performed an ultrasound they discovered that my water had broken and the sac was gone. His heart was still beating but they knew it wouldn't be for long. I cried for hours. I delivered him and afterwards the nurses bundled my tiny angel up and allowed me to see and hold him before I left the hospital. They also gave me a box with some memorable items. Sometimes I stare at the pic of his tiny toes and think of what life would have been like with him still here. But I know that god is taking better care of him than I ever could and we will meet again one day. RIP CJ. I love you! Always and Forever.

• by Singapore
• 10 years ago

I went for my routine scan on 15th April 2014. The technician was scanning when I realized the heart was not blinking. I asked the technician. She said I can't find the heartbeat dear. Baby was not moving. I held my husband's hand tightly. I knew that moment that I have lost my gem. She told us to wait outside. Those 15 min wait for the doc was the longest 15 min of my life. The doc came and called us in. She did the scan again and confirmed there was no heartbeat. I cried and cried. She told me I have to go through the normal delivery process as the baby is already big. I was induced at 4pm and delivered my little gem on 16th April 2014 at 12.25 am. Baby was the size of my palm. My husband hold my hand and cried. Never had the chance to hold my gem in my hand but forever he will be in our hearts. He is my little angel.

• by Justina, Hollywood Florida
• 10 years ago

On Feb 7, 2014, I took my husband for an ultrasound, so we could find out the sex of baby together. That day I was 18 Weeks and 3 days. The technician wanted to measure something before showing us the whole picture of the baby. I saw her trying to get a heartbeat, but there was none. She left the room and I fell into crying. My husband didn't understand that she didn't find heart beat. I sensed that something was wrong and couldn't hold back tears. My husband kept repeating that I am panicking without knowing what is really happening. And then doctor came in and told us the bad news. It's been two days that I can't find peace in myself. I keep blaming things that I could have done to hurt my baby. Not taking vitamins, stressing and so on. I have books and baby clothes I couldn't wait to buy, that are laying around house. I will never let this go. I will never hold or see this baby smile. I didn't find out what the sex was.. Or anything else that this baby was going to bring.

• by Little Angel
• 10 years ago

Had a evacuation done on 7.02.2014 2.20 pm. Have not closed my eyes since. The pain is beyond words...seeing my love ones feeling lost not sad make me feel worst. My son kiss my tummy and says good night every night. Breaking the news to him is heart wrenching. Mummy miss you my little angel.

• by Hantie, Hartbeespoort
• 10 years ago

I had an evacuation yesterday, 27 Jan 2014. Was suppose to be 11 weeks pregnant but the ovum never developed. Even though for 11 weeks I carried an empty yolk sack the loss of what could have been is so terribly painful! I can't stop crying and just feel so depressed! Feels like a lifetime before we can start trying for another baby! Thank you for helping me with these beautiful poems and all the other stories, it helps to know that I don't mourn alone!

• by Kaye, Florida
• 10 years ago

It was 5 years ago when I had a miscarriage. Five years I thought I'm over it. Today, I have my moments. Thinking of our second child that's in heaven. We named him Michael Ivan. He was 12 weeks when he went heaven. The day before I had a miscarriage, my daughter who was 2 told me, that Michael is going to heaven now. I said no he's not. That same day in the afternoon. My daughter ran to our bedroom, she said she saw a boy and I was nervous. Then she looked up in the ceiling and said that the boy went to heaven. The next day, I was taken to the ER. Did all the tests. And found out that I was in the process of miscarriage. My heart my pounding, my heart was numb. I feel lifeless knowing my baby has gone too soon. I miss you Michael, every time I look up in the sky, I always think of you. That someday, somehow, I will get the chance to meet you and hold you. I always think of you. You are always in my heart.

• by Brittany, Decatur
• 10 years ago

I gave birth to Olivia Rose Littrell our baby girl, January 13 at eleven thirty five pm. She was 19 and a half weeks. Her death was due to a cord accident it was wrapped around her neck. We miss her so much, I feel empty and alone. Words cannot express the toll a miscarriage has on someone.

• by Melissa, Hollywood
• 10 years ago

I had a miscarriage yesterday. I haven't slept since then. I feel like my soul was torn apart. I was three months. I haven't stopped crying, reading all these poems about other women that went through the same thing gives me a tiny bit of hope. My boyfriend told me it's retarded for me to cry because I can make another baby. But he doesn't get it. I have no idea what's going through his head or why he's being mean. Reading these stories is the only thing making me feel a little better.

• by Cindy, Pretoria South Arica
• 10 years ago

I recently miscarried at 7 weeks, reading this poem helped me a lot. Thank you

• by Whitney
• 11 years ago

When pregnancy occurs you never think about losing a child. I know I didn't. But this was my second pregnancy , and compared to my first I was terrified of having a miscarriage. Well it happen. I thought I was 11 weeks and 3 days. My mistake my baby heart couldn't carry on after 7 weeks. This whole time I thought the baby was healthy and I was so excited so happy. My dreams got crushed yesterday. I may not have gotten to meet you, but I love you just as much as I love your big sister, you will always be a part of my heart and in my mind. I miss you. I didn't think anyone could write a poem anywhere close to how I felt. But this poem is pretty much it. No couple or individual should ever have to lose their child, not this way or any other way...

• by Melissa, Moncton New Brunswick
• 11 years ago

I dedicate this poem to our little one that we just lost April 22, 2013. This is our 1st Miscarriage but would have been our second baby.

Our 3 and a half year old little girl was so excited that she was going to be a big sister.

We will miss you!!!

• by Loyda, Orlando Florida
• 12 years ago

I am glad I found this website.
I read your poem and it touched my heart.
I have too lost my baby, baby number 3 is what I called him before I lost him.
It's been two years since it happened and I've been drowning in sadness ever since.
My husband had just left to Afghanistan and within a week it happened I lost our baby.
I will never forget!

I still can't think of that moment without tears forming up, without the heartache. (like I am now)
SO my point is Thank You and to the many other mothers who have shared such beautiful poetry to inspire others like me.

I've been looking for anyone who could relate to my situation and that itself helps, to know that I'm not alone.

• by Brookln, New York
• 13 years ago

Dedicated To My first miscarriage with my 5th child

I never had the chance, To hear you talk or hold your hand, Our time ran out
Before you could walk..You were born with wings..I never thought the Lord would take you away from me so soon..A sign we knew, That the man upstairs Would soon come for you. They laid you in my arms And I quietly mourned, For my dark haired angel That I had born. I never had a chance To see your eyes, He took you away With no time for good byes, I think of you often And wonder why, I never had a chance To hear your first cry. All I have are dreams of you, those of which, will never come true. My heart sank the day that I knew, I would never get to meet you. I had made plans, and had aspirations, if only I had a little more patience But, I'll never forget that dismal day, around in the afternoon. The day I knew something was not right, and through many tears I would have to fight. Now, all I do is dream every night, about what life would have been like. What if you really had been born? But all we have a dreams of that, and all we can do is mourn. We will not mourn for you though, because we know you're where you need to be, even though it isn't here with me. You were a special little angel An enchanting rose, The moment I held you Our time suddenly froze. I never had the chance To watch you grow, Or hear your laugh As we played in the snow. I never had the chance To give you a mother's love, But I know you're always there Watching over me from above. You are my angel baby because God wanted you with Him. Now, forever with his angels, His praises you will sing..None of my dreams for you will ever come true, because of that day God chose to take you. But, my angel baby you will always be, in my heart forever, forever a part of me always

R.I.P. my baby angel that pass away from 3 to 4 year ago since 2007... I will meet you up in heaven when my time comes to be with you and our family .. I miss you so much and always remember mommy & daddy love you my 5th child =(