Is Anybody Listening?

• by Holly
• 7 years ago

My husband was funny, sweet, good to our children and an alcoholic. I know he loved me as much as I loved him. He was just a different person when he drank. I could no longer live with the drinking and after 33 years together. I made him leave. Two days later he contracted a rare disease and died. Your poem expresses how I feel, anger yet always love. I miss him so much.

• by TJ Illinois
• 8 years ago

My husband and I were separated when he passed away because he was abusive verbally and physically. I still loved him dearly though. He just couldn't be in the house due to the fact I still had a small child in the home whom I didn't want to think that behavior was normal. Anyway, when my husband passed away, his family was not even going to tell me. The only reason I found out was because they couldn't make funeral plans without my signature. They had no clue how much I loved him. I never ran to any of them with our problems. That's not who I am. But I am truly hurting and they think I'm faking it. They have no clue what I go through. And my son misses him so very much!!! Thank you for putting how I feel into words. ?

• by Ohio
• 9 years ago

My husband passed away in his sleep on April 30 2014. We were married for almost 37 years. He had dementia. The last two years were very scary for me. I loved him and could not leave him alone. I am glad I stayed. I still loved him so much. I had to sell my house after. I still cry for him.

• by Luvbug Uk
• 9 years ago

Thanks for publishing your poem and story and everyone else who has left a message.
I miss the love of my life everyday. I knew him 15 years but did not get with him for years as I knew he would not be good for me. We were together 3 and during that time I felt the deepest love I could ever feel along with pain humiliation and degrading. Despite this, love hooked me. There was a lot of pain in our relationship and deceit. I was upset that I was not with him for the 15 years as I would never have left him. He would tell me of other women he had been with in those years as weapons against me. I had to put my kids first and with all his drug taking and drinking I had to be a better person and be on my own during those years. But the last 3 I could deny my love no more. He died of a drug related death. I honored him completely. I don't think I was honored the same back. We had so many opportunities to be happy and have a wonderful home, family, and loving secure life. I only had glimpses of that, dreams of that. Its not the same on your own. He was the most intelligent funny handsome man I ever met. No one will ever surpass him. When he hugged me it felt like my heart melted into his. I felt whole, safe. There is no way he had this with anyone else. Many hours we could just hug. He did not believe I loved him to the extent I did, he thought that I was only after money. I know he was sick. I was not after money I was after togetherness protectiveness a life together. I will miss him everyday and hope that there is more than this life as it's lonely without him. My dreams will never be fulfilled. I do keep up the house and work hard to somehow show him what we could have been. Being with friends and others is just not the same. The love of my life is not here xxxxx All my love to you forever and ever and always xxx

• by Tesa, Washington
• 10 years ago

My husband passed away on 10/31/14. We had a short, but very full 7 years together. He died very suddenly, we have 3 kids at home, so I am trying to be strong for them. Let me take you back to the beginning, by our 2nd date we were together every day. We both could no bare to be away from each other. We were engaged after 2 months and married within 9 months. I know we were meant to be together. What I struggle with is, Why???? I know that is not anything anyone can answer, but I still cannot get it out of my head. This is not fair to our children. I am a mess.... I am struggling to keep it together.

• by Tracy Gonzales
• 10 years ago

I lost my husband, Johnny, nine weeks and one day ago after 37 years together. We also hit a rough patch a few months back but we were still in love with each other! He became ill quite suddenly, a spinal stroke. He was paralyzed and unable to breathe on his own, unable to speak as well. Three weeks in ICU, I was there every single day, wild horses couldn't have dragged me away. Slowly he became worse, chest tube, fluid being drained from his brain, huge blisters all over his legs and feet and he couldn't communicate with me at all the last week in ICU. I made the decision to allow him to go to God, couldn't let him suffer any longer. I told him everyday how much I love him and I would take care of him for as long as he needed me to, there was a brief period that we were hopeful he would come home. I am angry with myself for wasting time being ugly to one another all those months ago when we should have spent that time loving each other. I cry myself to sleep every night. This grief has consumed me. It's not guilt, it's anger for being stupid. He died knowing how much I love him and how much I was still IN love with him. Your poem says exactly what I feel !! I didn't think there was another soul out there that felt what I feel. This is so much more than just mourning. I honestly don't think I will recover from his death. So, I guess I must be keeping him from resting too. I never thought of it that way. Thank you. I pray that you have found peace. I am hopeful that one day I will too.

• by Deborah
• 10 years ago

I have just lost my husband three days ago. We were married 15 years but together 17. He had Huntington's disease. Our marriage was hard at times but we always stuck it out. I can't believe he is gone. I can't sleep .I feel so alone now. I am only 42 and can't believe I'm a widow now. I miss him so much. I will always love him. He was my best friend.

• by Arielle, Syracuse
• 10 years ago

Never in a million years had I ever imagined being a 24 year old widow and a mother of two. My loving husband of 6 years took his life on 12/16/2013 following a brief separation. Leading up to his suicide I started seeing signs that something wasn't right. It got to the point where I felt like I was left with no choice but to separate myself from the situation. As hard as it was to pack up and go, I had to because I started to fear for my life. He was a good person who was fighting a mental illness that just got the best of him. It's like he made me his worse enemy before he left when after all I was the same woman he fell in love with. I begged and pleaded for him to let go of whatever bad feelings he had towards me so that we can go back to being the happy family that we once were, but the more I begged the more fuel it added to the fire. I realize now that it wasn't his fault why we had so many differences towards the end. He was sick and he needed some help. I just wish that I, his wife, the woman he loved more than anything in this world, would of spoke up and got him the help he needed. I'm fighting with myself everyday about the guilt I feel for feeling like I gave up on him. Thank God for my beautiful girls. They are what truly keeps me breathing. I just wish we could of settled our differences before he left. I guess that's the hardest part about this whole thing is that I feel like I got so many unanswered questions. Wherever he may be I just hope he understands why I made the choices I made and I hope he knows that I will never stop loving him.

• by Caroline Melton, Wheatridge CO
• 10 years ago

I lost my husband, soul mate, best friend, lover Allen Melton December 12th 2013. I miss him so much we had been together 29 years and 9 months. He was the greatest husband any woman could ever ask for!!! He always made me feel beautiful and special. Several poems I have read touch me straight to the soul and make me think of him more than I do, I didn't think thst was possible! Yes I agree NOBODY knows what it's like to loose their SOULMATE until it happens to them. The only things that give me peace are our blessings he left for me here and knowing he is sitting on that bench in heaven waiting till God joins us back together!! Until then he is my angel who helps God watch over me.

• by Jeni, Oklahoma
• 11 years ago

I lost my best friend, protector, provider, companion, mi Papi, Juan December 17th 2012 ~ 10 days before our 8th wedding anniversary ~ to colorectal cancer that invaded his whole body. We fought like cats and dogs but I love him and he lives in me. I miss him so much. Thank you for this poem.

• by Lorraine Patterson
• 11 years ago

I am listening Lisa. Your poem made me cry and my heart bleeds for you. My husband died 2 years ago and I still feel so lost. Life is not easy and we all make mistakes, but we must forgive ourselves and others. Continue to write poetry and cherish the friends that understand your pain.

• by Christina, Sun City
• 11 years ago

My darling husband passed away Feb. 24, 2012. At first I felt relief for him, because he had gone through so much trying to stay here with all of us. It was not unexpected, we did have time to share our most intimate feelings on the matter with each other. In a way that is a good thing, but in a way it is not. I saw him die ever so slowly, I lost my soul mate long before his actual death. Our life had changed but our love for one another never waivered. In 22 years he never made me cry, he never broke my heart, he never lied to me unless it was a birthday surprise. He always made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. His soul loved my soul. I know I will love him forever. I want nothing more then to be with him again, feel his arms around me, hear his voice, kiss his lips. I am so alone, I have God and he helps me, but God is a spiritual presence, I yearn for my husband the man, the person that he was. I must be patient until the Lord calls me home also..

• by Joann, Spokane
• 11 years ago

My husband has passed away Jan-2013 . We'd been married almost 9 years. He died of liver cancer . He was the most amazing husband. I miss him every day. I love him so much. The pain is very hard for me. I have mixed emotions every day. He is my prince charming. He hold the key to my heart always...RIP

• by Tacoma, WA
• 11 years ago

My husband Terry died in a tragic motorcycle accident. Everyday my life is empty. He is my life. I always pray to GOD to give me strength.

• by Lori
• 12 years ago

My husband Major Gaylen Jarvie. Died from cancer a brain tumor.
September 11 2011.

It seems no one understands the emptiness I feel inside and my life just going no where.
I have a lot to be thankful for but why don't I feel like it. Someone wake me up from this terrible dream.
My life has stopped my heart is broken and my mind is no longer working.

Everyone kept telling me that I should let it go. It was God's will, fated, and it is in the past etc. Easy for those who say. Since that dreaded day all I feel is emptiness. In a world full of people I feel lonely...I try to appear as normal as possible when there are other loved ones around me but when I am alone emptiness screams at me. If I were dead, this pain and the PAIN would go away.

• by Las Vegas Nevada
• 12 years ago

On May 12, 2011 my husband woke up and was struggling to walk, I jumped out of bed to help him, he couldn't walk straight only sideways, I tell him I need to take him to the hospital, he refuses he insist I drive him home to Albuq, we were in Colorado, I tell him if he get's worse I will pull over and get help, just before getting to Pueblo CO, he starts getting seizures, I pull to the first gas station and yell for help, 3 men rush to help me, I call 911 they get there in less than 5 min, he's admitted, within 24 hrs he has MRI's and ct scan, they come to me with bad news, my husband has meningitis Asyphilitis of the brain, a fever of 107 degrees, his small brain stem separated from the brain and spine, his doctors tell me there is no DR. ,or surgery that can save him, I had to make the decision to let him go, I put my ear over his heart and hear his last heart beat, the next one was in heaven. RIP my husband Joseph O Obeyta.

• by Leah
• 12 years ago

l lost my husband in a truck accident about 9 hours away from home...That was on 7th May 2007. let's almost 5 yrs since he died, and l STILL can't let him go. I have family/friends trying to get me to move on, but to me l am STILL married. He died at a young age of 37, l was 36...with 3 young boys who were 4, 7 and 9...l still love him, dream of him most nights...how DO you move on.....Leah

• by June, Missouri
• 12 years ago

I lost my husband June 25, 2011. We had been married for 22 years. He was a great husband and always thought about his family. If only he would have taken care of and thought about himself. He died of hypertensive cardiovascular disease. He had worked all day outside removing a tree that fell on our fence in the backyard from a storm. He was so tired that night but I didn't feel it was unusual after all he had done that day.

That night he fell asleep and never woke up. My whole world is empty and I don't care about life like I once did except I have children and grandchildren and my Mom is still alive.

It seems no one understands the emptiness I feel inside and my life just going no where. I feel a love for him I'll never feel for any other. I wish I could have said goodbye to him and tell him I loved him. He died before I could get to him. All I do now is live with a broken heart. I do feel like he is now my angel from heaven.

• by Lisa, Michigan
• 12 years ago

I just recently lost my husband November 22nd this year only 2 weeks ago. I never felt pain like I have felt till now. He was killed in a horrible car accident on his way into work by a 17 year old kid. My husband was only 37 and I'm left with a 1 year old daughter to raise alone and I'm 31. My life has stopped my heart is broken and my mind is no longer working I'm going through the motions of everyday but its just a shell of alive right now. I thank God I got to spend 14 years of my life with my soul mate.

• by Star, TN
• 13 years ago

My husband of 34 yrs passed away on July 12th followed by a kidney transplant he had been waiting on for 7 yrs. Things went well, he also was diabetic, high blood pressure, with Heart problems. I left him at 9 pm on Monday night to receive a call at 7:30 Tuesday morning to find out they had let him aspirate so that started the ball rolling to death. I am not sure how I feel I am in a fog, feel like he will walk in the house any time, going to bed and getting up is the worse for me and staying at home. I hope soon this will pass, I miss him so much, I feel like I wish I would go also, but I have to wonderful son's that are grown and they need me, and my mom is still with me plus my brother and sister so I have a lot to be thankful for but why don't I feel like it. Someone wake me up from this terrible dream.

• by Ronda, Portland
• 13 years ago

My husband took his own life two months ago, March 14, 2011. We had a tumultuous marriage. We were madly in love, but fought madly as well. He had a mental illness and was difficult to deal with at times. The day he took his life, I had asked him to separate. Then he took his life. No one understands that I never stopped loving him any less, I could just not handle the fighting any longer. He was my soulmate. I am lost so lost without him. But how can I share that everyday, that I feel lost and alone everyday? That I want to hold him, that I no longer care how bad it was sometimes, I would give anything to have him back here, in my arms.

• by Elise, California
• 13 years ago

My husband of four years passed away three months ago on 1/15/2011. He was 26 years old, and passed away after a car accident. We have three beautiful children, every day I look at them with pride because they are my daily reminder of him. We were separated at the time, we had many good times in our relationship, but mostly bad. Nobody understands the pain and heartache, I will always love that man.. He was my everything. But sometimes the love that you had for a person could be broken, hurt, and eventually change to a different form of love. He will always be my husband, I wish I could have had one last chance to show my love for him, tell him what he meant to me. Hold him and never let go.

• by T, California
• 13 years ago

Thank you for sharing this poem. It is exactly how I feel. No one seems to understand no matter how 'I TRY to help them SEE.' The death of my husband has such a stronghold on me and I don't want to feel like this. This poem expresses everything exactly. Thank you for sharing.

• by Mala, Singapore
• 13 years ago

Hi I know exactly how u feel. My soulmate of 16 years was taken away from me in May 2009. He and I had loads of differences but he was a sweet caring man, Like an uncut diamond. Everyone kept telling me that I should let it go. It was God's will, fated, and it is in the past etc. Easy for those who say. Since that dreaded day all I feel is emptiness. In a world full of people I feel lonely...I try to appear as normal as possible when there are other loved ones around me but when I am alone emptiness screams at me. If there is one place that I want to be, it would be to be with him wherever he is....Let him go, forget him??? No way, that can only happen if I fall in a coma or I am in my coffin....Love just does not fade away in thin air, it lives forever in our hearts....

• by Tami Bruce
• 13 years ago

This poem reminds me of the loss of my husband. He and I were together for 14 years. He passed away May 17, 2000. I felt that everyone wanted me to just pick up and be done with him because he was very unkind to many in the last years of his life. They didn't understand that we shared many wonderful times together and when he passed I lost the man I fell in love with. I have since moved on but think of my late husband daily. I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your poem.

• by Mary, Chicago
• 13 years ago

We divorced nearly four years ago after 30 years of marriage. He remained very present in my life throughout this time. I know he loved me, but was the classic "serial cheater" . . . an addict. In fact, our relationship after the divorce was not so different than before. Only he had his own place and I knew about the girlfriends. I guess I was supposed to "move on" but never could. Now, he is dying of cancer and I can't imagine this world without him in it - if even at a distance. He was here for Thanksgiving with the family and when I brought him back to the hospice where he now lives, I fell apart. I need to prepare myself for his death, which is likely within the next month or two. I know I am expected to deliver a eulogy. What can I say when no one can possibly understand my unending love for him.

• by Fely, Philippines
• 14 years ago

I just recently loss my husband last August 15, 2010, it was sudden due to Aneurysms. It shocked me because I was texting him on the day of 13 August to fetch me at the office, then when I called him around 12.30 pm someone answered the phone, and I knew there's something wrong, then the news strike me, that my husband rush to the nearest hospital and when I came he is in coma for 1-hour. I really don't know what I felt, but the thing that I decided to transfer my husband to a complete hospital facility even though the doctors said he will not survive. But, I trust and have a full trust that my husband will be okay. Then, I pray hard on him to spare my husband's life but around 12.50 am of 15 August my husband declare death. I was devastated, I felt a very mixed emotions. What funny is I received his death certificate first rather than my marriage license, since where just 2-month married and we are still processing our papers so I can I can change name.

• by New Zealand
• 14 years ago

Hi. I have felt this same pain. They do not understand the pain the bleeding of the heart when we loose our soulmate. So I was left alone to. They say its in the past now. How can they say that after having him for 20 years and suddenly gone to where? I hope my soulmate like yours is fine and having fun. How can we not remember our loved one everyday. I think this poem is great as there must be many other soulmates left behind and family's don't understand. Best of Luck to you. Thank you for sharing.