Addiction Poem

This poem is my life from the age of 13. I'm still losing the battle to addiction at age 33. Prisons, rehabs, and a passed Mom has become my fate. This is all I know... I don't want it, but I'm too tired to try something different (failure would do me in). My kids and family accept me being a junkie. They're scared I'll die in the drug world? No, I'm one of the unlucky ones- I've lived every heart-breaking day of it. In the poem I wrote "she's dead" because that's how I feel. Dead, merely existing...

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I pray your daughter has gotten sober. I’m now 43 and can proudly say I have nearly 3 years clean time. I owe it to God and family that never gave up hope. Because of your prayers and others,...

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Welcome To Hell

©

Published by Family Friend Poems February 2011 with permission of the Author.

'Welcome to Hell," the sign should've read,
Reaching your destination-all in your head!
"Last call for the train heading to Nowhere Fast,"
The memories you create will forever last.
You want to buy a ticket? What's the cost, you ask?
Just hop on board, we'll talk once you're trashed.
Close your eyes and picture something grand.
No peeking! Now trust me, and give me your hand!
To a beach with water and the sun shining down.
Open up! No beach here, you're hell-bound.
Of course there's water! But it's for your rig and spoon.
Lil' girl, don't be afraid; 14 years old isn't that soon.
The men don't bite, but you'll be messed up beyond belief.
When you do pass out, not remembering - a relief.
Ashamed to face Mommy! Got to have that coke!
Shooting dope every day; a girl with dreams lost all hope.
I laugh at you as you toss your life in the wind.
Too far gone...it's us 'til the end.
I'll be there when you lose your pride.
When you forget your morals, I'm at your side.
You'll cheat and steal to have that fix.
Won't take baby to the doctor although she's sick.
Getting a pill - definitely #1 on the list.
Oops. Another appointment baby missed.
Nanny buys diapers because Mommy stays high.
Daddy hits Mommy and the children cry.
After years of this bliss the kids got took,
Mommy is a junkie and fast becoming a crook.
You'll land in jail, a drug addict you remain.
Your heart turns cold as you play the game.
Do not pass go - strip your dignity right here.
This old man wants you, dry your tears,
Quote a price! Self-respect long forgotten,
You'd sell your soul to the devil for an Oxycontin.
I told you girl the destination is in your head!
"Welcome To Hell!" Next stop... Well, she's dead.
I told you that I'd stick it out 'til the end.
For me, you traded your dreams and kids,
Your Addiction, Life, and your faithful Friend.

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  • Dayna Panitzke by Dayna Panitzke
  • 5 years ago

I'm now 43, I have been an addict since I was about 12 or 13. It started with weed and alcohol, then taking pills...moved into coke then smoking crack. Then after a time of being clean, my life got turned upside down when I tried Dilaudid...then I was hooked. A junkie, that's what I was called. I lost my kids, my family, friends... ended up in jail. I got pregnant and went to rehab and stayed clean for 2 years. Then old friends came back around and I was right back at it. I had gotten my kids back and had a great life...and was throwing it all away again. I got myself into a methadone clinic and I have been clean for 10 years!! It's been rough at times but so worth it.

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  • Janita by Janita, Alabama
  • 10 years ago

My son age 25 has been fighting this devil of addition every since he graduated high school. He has been to rehab twice in the past 3 years, God has truly been with him and me. I've watched as he tried to destroy himself over and over while God almighty has saved his life time and time again. He went back to treatment last year Oct. 2013 and has been clean since. He suffers from severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, sleep apnea and has hep c, but he now knows God has brought him to this point and takes it one day at a time. Reading each story my heart goes out and breaks for each and everyone that has to go through this and the people it effects. Praise Jesus My Lord and Savior. God Bless you all!!

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  • Karen by Karen, Nc
  • 9 years ago

I can relate to your story. My son has also fought addition since high school. He is now 29 years old. The Lord has also kept my son safe, through car wrecks, drug dealers, relationships, and other tragedies, brought on by addition. Our family has suffered in so many ways. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Most days I feel so helpless. Just 3 days ago I had him commited against his will, which left him angry and feeling betrayed. What do I do to help him? Who do I turn to for advice? When will he wake up? Just hope and pray he will learn to trust in Jesus and let him help him through. God has been my rock and I know he will bring my son through. I have told him that he will have a wonderful testimony some day. I know God will save his soul and bring him through, it is just hard to watch him go through this. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps to know that I am not alone. God Bless!

  • Billy by Billy, Missouri
  • 10 years ago

I have been fighting an opiate addiction for the last 7 years. I have a brother that's 25 that's been fighting the same battle it took him going to jail for 4 months for me to find the strength to myself. I was so tired of living that life wishing I die. I'm glad it didn't take that to find peace of mind I've been clean 25 days. I hope it continues. I love my life. I love God. I'm so happy I made this decision. Please pray for me and my family god is so good he has blessed me in so many ways. I wish I would known this sooner. I wouldn't have wasted so much time Narcotics Anonymous meetings really help.

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  • Bernice Arruda by Bernice Arruda
  • 7 years ago

I was an addict for 15 years. I know how hard it is. I have been clean for 4 years now. Some days I am ok and other days I feel like I am fighting a demon. The things that I have done that I would not normally do is terrible. It's good that you are trying to stay clean. Just keep trying, and most of all do not ever give up. There are people out there that do care about you. Don't let the demons win. Keep fighting.

  • Angela Hilton by Angela Hilton, Sc
  • 9 years ago

Through God everything is possible. I know that it doesn't feel like it right now. You've got your body feeling better now, but you probably feel like a child trying to start in a new school in a new town. New friends, building the trust back in the people that you love. Just take one day at a time. If your family gets upset with you, remember it's hard for somebody to understand that's not an addict. When you have times like that sit down together and pray together that God will help each of you understand what the other is going through. I understand how you feel and what you are going through. I'm an addict too. This road is a hard one to go through, but the path that you just came from is much harder. I am so proud of you . Keep your faith, keep up with the meetings. I have love for you and your family. God bless you. I know we don't know each other I will pray for you and your family every night! Everything is possible through Christ our Savior! God loves me just as I am!

  • Martha by Martha, New York
  • 10 years ago

I was looking for something that came close to the situation I was in with my now 18 year old daughter she's a heroin abuser amongst a lot of other heavy drugs she's been doing it since she was 13. We've had her in rehab after rehab now that she's 18 she's in trouble with the law with it and she's completely dismissed her 2 year old identical twin miracle daughters that were born at 20 weeks. This poem really lays it out, today we are going back to rehab and this time she asked to go. The drug world really does tear apart families and everything you love. Good luck to all of you I hope you can find the strength to become sober.

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  • Nelly Barnes by Nelly Barnes
  • 4 years ago

I pray your daughter has gotten sober. I’m now 43 and can proudly say I have nearly 3 years clean time. I owe it to God and family that never gave up hope. Because of your prayers and others, I’m now sober, hoping that I can help the ones out there still suffering because there is hope. Believe in God, and all else eventually falls in place. Of course there’s good and bad days, but my worst day sober is by far better than my best day high. You’re in my prayers. No problem is too BIG for Jesus.

  • Crystal by Crystal
  • 7 years ago

Did she get help? My mother is a terrible addict. Has been since dad took his life 7 years ago. God bless you all.

  • John by John
  • 10 years ago

Great poem! I do understand the struggle we face everyday. I know the rig and the silver spoon and how it's a whole new game. I'm fighting the battle with crystal meth and it's such a terrible thing, full of disappointment and watching it destroy life, tear family apart and you just lie to yourself saying oh I'll never get that bad can't happen to me. Stuck in world of denial where hope seems bleak and no God insight. Just got to keep strong minutes at time. Thank you for sharing. I wish all the best of luck starving the monster inside us.

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  • Geoff by Geoff, Australia
  • 11 years ago

This is a great poem and tells it like it is - drugs are the reason children cry. My brother died young in a drink driving car accident. I boycott booze because I never want to support the booze industry.

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  • Paul Blanchard by Paul Blanchard
  • 11 years ago

15 years an addict myself.... every day sober is a battle, a struggle. but it is not impossible. Some addicts go back 20 years later. 1 time is too many. My children give me strength, when I can not find it within myself.

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  • Heather by Heather, Charleston
  • 12 years ago

I really love this, it hits home in so many ways. I am battling an opiate addiction, have been for 7 years and have done everything to get my fix. I am now going to be a convicted felon because of my drug use. I would have never done the things I did if I would have never turned to drugs to solve my problems. I have been fortunate that I am still living and with the amount I have taken I have never overdosed (Lucky as Hell)! This is so inspiring, I am now 72 days clean and I find it extremely hard to stop even thinking about it. I hope your struggle with addiction goes well.

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  • Carolyn (Sissy) Yengich by Carolyn (Sissy) Yengich
  • 12 years ago

Wow...Please don't give up...I'd love to find out one day that the shackles that have bound you are finally broken. Both my daughters are struggling with addiction. My youngest is currently incarcerated at age 18 due to opiate addiction. My oldest, 23, is battling opiate & meth addictions as well as an eating disorder. She's been to the ER several times with infections from shooting up, but she says she doesn't see the point of trying to get sober. I sent your poem in a Facebook message to her, as I hope it will reach her like it did me. God Bless you and keep you...Carolyn

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  • New Mexico by New Mexico
  • 12 years ago

I fought that same battle everyday and I could never win alone. I shot it, smoked it, snorted it, drank it, honestly if addiction convinced me that cutting my arm off would get me high I would've done that too. This is real and it's killing people everyday. Every week I check the obituaries and I see someone I knew from the "streets" I never won that battle alone.... but I no longer fight alone, I have God and if he can save a junkie like me. I know there is hope for everyone else. I can't say everyday is perfect now because I would be lying but, my worst day sober is better than my best day using. Have faith because God can help you! Obviously your children love you, with out a doubt... I can only imagine how happy they would be if you were clean. Know that we all have our demons to fight, but sweetie you do not have to fight it alone. One day you can stand strong and look your demon in the eye and say YOU DON'T OWN ME! You are a child of god, all you have to do is let him in!

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  • Hannah Hurt by Hannah Hurt
  • 13 years ago

Mommy, I love you! and everything happens for a reason. I know when you get out of jail this time you will change. At least I damn sure hope you do! Anyways I will always love you no matter what.

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  • Andrea Street by Andrea Street, Albany Oregon
  • 13 years ago

Hello! I am praying for your full recovery from addiction. You say that you feel dead because of your addiction. During the 11 years that my brother was using drugs it was like he was dead to me. I did not accept him as an addict because he was someone I didn't know. He was not the brother who I remembered who cared and stood up for me, who helped me learn and explore the world, who played tonka trucks and taught me how to climb a tree. He was a stranger who stole, lied, begged, and destroyed. For years I mourned him like he was dead as I was sure that is where he would end up. I wanted to believe he "died" at age 15 when he became an addict. That way I never had to think about who he had become if that makes any sense. So in May of 2010 I believe an Angel brought my brother home to me to care for. My husband and I spent the last 15 mo getting him off drugs and beginning a responsible life. He just recently moved in with his girlfriend who is not an addict And is doing very well.

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  • Andrea by Andrea, TN
  • 13 years ago

This poem really hit home for me, I am a recovering heroin addict of 9 yrs now, and even though I wasn't addicted to oxys, I know what its like to be a slave to something just as bad, if not worse. This poem sounds like an instant replay of my life up until nine yrs ago. For all of the struggling addicts out there or even for the ones that will use for the first time today, you're not alone....and the fight isn't over until you say it is.

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