Hurting Poem

Just sitting here praying for a miracle...

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I hope for you Des that things get better. Everyday is a new day. Things in our life have been better since I wrote this poem, amazing in fact. To this day though I am waiting for that...

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Uncertainty Of Trust

Published by Family Friend Poems December 2007 with permission of the Author.

Walking past all the anger and pain of years past
I sit here confused and lost
Not knowing what to feel anymore
Not knowing what to expect
When you walk through the door
Who are we now?
Do we even remember what we were?
Our lives have become a battle ground
We are both left defeated
Casualties are all that is left
Do you know the pain you caused?
Do you know I need to heal too?
Will I ever hear a true sorry?
I need one today
Today I am feeling helpless and empty
Yesterday I was okay
Will I ever trust you again?
Will you resent me for that?
I want to get off this ride
I don't like roller coasters anymore
I want our feet to stay on the ground
What will happen after hello?
The letter you wrote was unfamiliar
You never wrote me a letter before
It only scared me more
Are you worried about who we are?
Are you scared that there is too much damage?
Are we totaled, or can we be saved?
Will you really be able to do this?

more by Lisa Disciascio

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by Lisa Disciascio Poet
13 years ago

I hope for you Des that things get better. Everyday is a new day. Things in our life have been better since I wrote this poem, amazing in fact. To this day though I am waiting for that ball to drop. There is always that chance of relapse and that is the scariest thing. I don't ever want to go back there.
I have revisited my poetry recently because my brother is relapsing right now and the pain that it is causing my family is unbearable. I am having a hard time dealing with it all and writing is my only outlet.
Keep yourself strong, no matter how it turns out in the end, you have to still be standing.

by Des, Mass
13 years ago

This has hit me so close to home, my husband has been addicted to pain medication now for over 6 years and it has definitely been a rollercoaster ride. The mood swings, the anger, the sweetness, the lies. I have come to that point where I just want off, but then I think of how it can be when he is sober and I have hope it can get to be that way. He has been to detox a few times and once again relapsed yesterday, and I just am crushed and filled with emotions. Can I go through this anymore? I just don't know.. thanks for the poem

by Sunday
14 years ago

My husband has decided to quit smoking after 23 years- was a 2 pack a day. Now he is Nicotine free for 9 days. I should be ecstatic but instead I feel our lives spiralling out of control as he embraces and merges his daily existence with his friend Bud(weiser)... he has started to resent me as he is losing his best friend... I would like to be as supportive as possible but I am also in deep depression...