Dear Heroin

• by J A Allison
• 5 years ago

Should've made it, "Stealing off the people that mean everything to you."
I've been a recovering heroin addict for 12 years now. I've been clean for the past three, I'm happy to say. I stole everything from my loved ones, including their trust and love for me. It all comes back though.

• by Richard R Jimenez
• 6 years ago

Hi, I was inspired by reading the stories. I decided I would share my experience, strength, and hope. I started using drugs at the early age of 12. I was introduced to my first NA meeting and then long-term treatment by the time I was 16. That was in 1983. I believe at that time I was not an addict. I learned that was not the case and that I was an addict. I went back into treatment in 1989 and managed to complete it and change my life, however, once life got good, the disease of addiction came back to haunt me, and I fell back into the drugs. I can say that from 1989 till August 29, 2006, I played around with addiction and recovery. I finally grew up on August 30, 2006, and have not found it necessary to go back to using drugs. I started with alcohol and ended with using heroin. I can say that addiction is a disease that can be arrested one day at a time. I enjoy my recovery today and maintain it by doing some simple things that were suggested to me. Get a sponsor, work 12 steps, and don't use.

• by Marie Porter
• 7 years ago

Wow! I am amazed at all the stories, but most of all I truly appreciate such honesty because without reading what YOU wrote, I would still be dumbfounded with the questions I am facing about my son. I know these messages are a few years old, but thank you for sharing such information that I probably would never have heard. I hope everyone is still going strong, just know that someone in Arizona is praying for you!

• by Summer Lynn Fink
• 8 years ago

I started using heroin at 19, but I didn't start that way. My fiancé at the time was injured badly when a tractor trailer hit him. It started him off on pain pills and eventually I started with him. After docs had cut him off, we found ourselves withdrawing, and someone introduced a stamp bag as something to get us by. That first bag was all it took. I can't recall how many times I've lied, stolen, watched my mom cry, or went to jail. This addiction robbed me. After so long it's not fun anymore. It's a full time job trying to feed your addiction. The effort I put into finding it was effort I should've used for trying to get clean, but I just wasn't ready. I was so used to that lifestyle. I also gained 3 felonies out of it.

I got clean on my own, cold turkey. Pure hell for weeks. NA meetings helped. Now I'm going on 4 years clean. I'm married, got a beautiful home we are buying, earned my GED & have 4 beautiful kids! We do recover!

• by Julie, NY
• 9 years ago

I like this poem because not many people understand addiction and this helps. I am 20 years old I started at a young age, it only took 3 years for me to lose everything. My brother and I both struggled with the disease and he lost his life to it 8 months ago. It is so frustrating that my 24 year old brother no longer is here because of drugs, he was my best friend and my favorite person, I miss him dearly. I spiraled out of control after he died and did terrible things to my family. They once told me they couldn't grieve his death because I was causing them so much pain. I left for Florida for a rehab program... Had almost 5 months clean and relapsed in there. So I've been out for a month now and I've stayed clean, I attend NA meetings regularly, I have a Sponser and I am working the steps. It really is a wonderful program and it has done miracles in my life I am proud of who I am today and have no desire to go back to the misery. When I think about using, I see my dad holding his dead son screaming.

• by Brian, Long Island
• 9 years ago

Hello everyone. I'm 22 years old, and from a young age people told me I had all the gifts. I was a three sport star, had scholarship offers, perfect score on SAT, etc. When my dad died at 14, I spun into a depression. I began smoking pot, cigarettes, then pills, ecstasy, cocaine, and finally, at the age of 21, I snorted heroin for the first time. I'm almost 23 now, and I became the very thing I despised. A lying, cheating, walking zombie. Each day was a new struggle to find a way to get dope. About 4 months ago, I began shooting, fear of needles be damned. I am not clean. But I want to be. I could sit here and beg all of you for help, but it doesn't matter until I decide to get clean for ME. I think the real problem is, I can't imagine life without the ability to get high and relax for a little bit. I've gone almost half my life getting high one way or another, and dope was the cheapest and most effective. Good luck to all of you. Fight the good fight.

• by Gary Kerr, Glasgow
• 11 years ago

Gary here cleaned up just recently still frazzled but aint going back to that place. That place you have pretend friends, pretend happiness, pretend life... Used close on 30 years and all passed in a haze don't know my two girls in fact just getting to know me! Fed up with the hollow yellow eyes, no more jails and alibis. Got job interview next week in chicken factory ironic or what? Hope get it as sitting around doing nothing leads back to hell and I just want to be free of narcomania hope get job money not the main reason to work, sanity is . That's all I got for now so all you people like myself keep head up and stay free . X Gary

• by Sam, Ohio
• 11 years ago

As I write this, I'm high on heroin. I've been using on and off for 20 years. I started out with weed and pain pills, but soon began to snort the curious brown powder. I quit cold turkey on my own a week ago and relapsed about an hour ago. The pain was to much or so it seemed. Reading this poem and comments gives me new hope and strength. It also helps to know I'm not alone. I'll keep quitting until I win this fight! With God's help, anything is possible.

• by Monica Ritchey, Litchfield
• 11 years ago

I read this poem and it is exactly how I felt and what I went through with my addiction to heroin. I couldn't get the help I need because I didn't want to be sick. I went to jail. Did 9 months. And I have now been clean for 18 months on the 24th of October.

• by Taylor
• 11 years ago

I love reading these poems I myself am a recovering Heroin addict. I sit here today with 77 days clean it's a constant battle but I do what is suggested and I'm a better person than I ever was.

• by Leanne, England
• 11 years ago

I am a recovering heroin addict and now work in a treatment agency as a service user representative. I think these poems are a really great way of bringing home, just how painful it is to be an addict. It helps people to see just how difficult it is when addicted to such a powerful drug. It has taken me 20 years to get off heroin and the methadone, it has been a long slow process but hopefully I can use my own experiences to help those still afraid to make that next step.

• by Ian D.
• 11 years ago

I was also a heavy heroin user for about 5 years and after a rehab program I am proud to say I am almost 2 years clean.

The only thing I can say is that there is no way you can help someone that is using drugs no matter what, most drug users like I was would never admit to their self that they need help, they think they can manage without help (well by my experience that's impossible) put your pride aside and accept help because that's the only way it can make you beat the huge fight you will have to face,
Here I will write a few tips on what you have to do if you want to succeed.

1. admit you need help
2. don't be scared to talk to your family, wife, husband (or children if possible only if they are old enough) about your drug addiction, you will be amazed how much they love you and they will do anything to help, that is one of the strongest support you can get.
3. Stay away from all the people that uses drugs specially the one's you where hanging out with, they will make you lose the battle every time you try to quit.

• by Tom, North Carolina
• 11 years ago

It has been 30 years of heroin use, with prison breaks in between. I am 3 days clean and scared half to death. I have alienated myself from all loved ones for drug use. I just feel weak and lost and all alone. I know this is my fault, but the isolation is all the same.

• by Nacole, Ohio
• 12 years ago

My brother has been a heroin addict for going on 7 years I think it is!! I have known for a long time but he finally came out to the family at the beginning of this year! Went to rehab in April...we were so proud and hopeful!! He started using again....on Sept. 7th I was at his house...checked on him in the bathroom and saw him laying there.....dead!! I brought him back to life...well I think God did that through me because it was killing me!! He is still using...he says only once a week to get through the weekend...I think it is bs!!! It warms my heart to hear a successful story being that it is a VERY LOW percentage actually get clean from Heroin!! Congratulations to you...as I wouldn't want anyone to go through the pain of seeing a person you love go through this evil!!!!

• by Cortney, Ohio
• 12 years ago

This helps me understand my boyfriend a little better. He was a heroin addict, and alcoholic for about a decade. He is now a little more than a year sober. I am very proud of him, but it is a struggle all of the time. Right now he is going through a tough time and I'm afraid he will start again. He is depressed, and he can't eat or sleep. He is also very hard to talk to right now...It's very hard because I don't know a whole lot about all of this. If anyone has any advice, let me know. Thanks.

• by Janice
• 12 years ago

I can relate to this story. I was controlled by heroin for 30 years. In the beginning I also thought it was the answer to all my problems, at the time I had no idea it would take such control of my life. Every waking moment I gave to that drug it took everything and gave nothing back but pain, emptiness and feelings of despair. I wanted to be away from the dope but I felt like this is what I was meant to be. I felt like I was at the bottom of a hole and couldn't get my way out. I have 10 months clean and it was hard getting this far and at times I still struggle but when I think about getting high I also take a minute to remember all the negative that goes with it. I can finally wake up to every new day without something controlling it. It is a awesome feeling.

• by Cassie Wrexham
• 12 years ago

I am 3 years clean of heroin I'm 21 years of age now and lucky to be alive I got off the stuff cold turkey and it was the worst feeling in the world, but now I am proud to say I beat the addiction and would never touch the stuff again :)

• by Mary, Wind Lake
• 12 years ago

This poem is intense and I am sharing it with both of my recovery addict adult children. One is in prison for robbing to get his drugs and the other just got out of jail and in a halfway house. I have faith they can overcome this addiction as well. Best of luck to you Summer Sager, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

• by Unknown, Virgina
• 12 years ago

well basically when I was 15 I snorted dope for the first time. Ill never forget that day. Its the day my life changed forever. After that I snorted maybe 3 more times before I switched. That day it really began.... from then on out I lived day by day chasing that amazing feeling. As days go on I have a friend o d. And I gave it to him luckily he lived or I wouldn't be typing this. I'm 17 now and the social workers want me to stay clean. I just hope life gets better. I don't have much of anyone or anything left. About getting; (please pray) idk if I'm at that point. It's like dope has got me in its clutches. I've been clean for 2 weeks since my friend o d. Its like these days without are dull and gray. Ill never be the same , my own friends have left me and my family disowns me. To anyone wanting to try it, DON'T.

• by Jackie, Boston MA
• 12 years ago

Hey my name is Jackie, I read this and it made me feel better in a way because I now don't feel as alone in the situation.. no one really understands me and they don't care to because of my addiction and the stealing and lying that comes with it.. I'm currently an addict but desperate to get sober, just somehow can't find the strength to stop. I was away for a month on a section 35 due to my addiction and I got out last week and started doing it again! It has taken too much from me, my daughter, my friends, and my family who mean the most to me and most of all my happiness. I can't seem to get away from it. I wish I still had people behind me to help me get through this. Now all I have is wasted time and a closet full of regret. All I can do is hope and pray that god will help me get through this, one day at a time.

• by Jessica, Altoona Pa
• 12 years ago

I have been addicted to heroin for 6 years, it controlled my life and I hurt everyone around me including my two daughters who I love with all my heart.. On July 8th I will have 6 months clean.

• by Alli
• 12 years ago

I'm so happy for you...:) My brother is an addict and I don't know what to do I've found him dead so many times he it makes me scared that the next time he won't be able to wake up. My family has given up on him and I feel like the only one who cares anymore. I don't give him money I don't even drink and I tell him if he's high I won't hang out around him he's homeless and I just wanna help but then he steals from me. I love him so much he's like my twin we're only a year apart and I can tell he is depressed an he has even talked about killing himself. I feel like I'm going to get a phone call that he's od. My heart will shatter in a million pieces I will never be the same. What can I do?

• by Jan, Pennsylvania
• 12 years ago

It's bittersweet to read a poem about an addict in recovery. It's awesome that your clean, but terrible to know what you went through. The thing is as addicts we have to remember to not get too comfortable, complacent, or cocky because that devil of an addiction is around every corner, just waiting for us to have a bad day where it can slip back into our lives. NONE of us are truly free from our addiction. I just heard a speaker at a meeting who was 3 years clean. He relapsed after 25 years! 25! That is scary stuff! But it helps me to remember I am no different. I have twice had over a year clean time and then thought I was alright and stopped working a program and wouldn't you know I slipped right back to my old best friend, opiates. I live by the minute now. I know that yes I may be clean at this moment but at this time tomorrow night I could be laying in my bathroom with a needle hanging out of my arm. I wish all addicts in recovery the best.

• by Nichole, USA
• 12 years ago

My brother just read this poem to my mother over the phone from jail. He has battled addiction with drugs we assume for at least 6 years and a couple of weeks ago he was arrested for armed robbery. It's sad to see so many young people get hooked on heroin especially my little brother. Reading how other people became sober from being put in jail gives me hope that this is what he needs to become clean and have a good life. I realize that addiction is an every day battle; especially with heroin. It's reassuring to see other people going through similar situations who are able to fight it. I pray for my little brother and all who are dealing with this horrible disease.

• by Jude, Flint
• 12 years ago

Dear Summer Sager - It's been a while since you wrote this. I pray you are still clean and doing well.

I'd like to tell anyone reading this who is just thinking about doing heroin, DON'T! Not even once! I know you wonder what it's like, but do yourself a favor and keep the mystery alive. Otherwise, you may die. The only cure for addiction is to NEVER try it. So don't. Bless you all.

• by Charles, South Africa
• 13 years ago

I'm looking for advice to help my sister, who I recently found out is using heroin (as well as cat, crystal meth and cocaine)

• by Susan Woolum
• 13 years ago

Heroin Addiction
My son, 20, is a heroin addict. Judge sent him away for probation violation. He lost friends to heroin, both alive and dead. That didn't matter. An addict is fearless and will go into ANY neighborhood to get it. He didn't start heroin until he went on probation, because that meant he couldn't smoke weed. He wouldn't have passed drug tests. Now, he is in prison for 18 months out of this environment. I hope it saves his life this time.

• by Ceecee, St.Louis Missouri
• 13 years ago

I was 16 when I started using heroin and now am 18. I am a rehab in Missouri and in all honesty you are never going to be clean from heroin once you have enter that drug into your veins no matter how much clean time you may think you have you will always find some reason to go back to it. Whether you get into a fight with someone you care about or you just are depressed, alone or even thinking you know I can do this one more time. That drug lives with you were ever you go. Today I'm 25 days clean, yes I know that isn't long but I will tell you not a day goes by that the drug don't run across my mind. You can move, run from it, whatever but the day will come when it is right back slapping you in the face.

• by Danny, Phoenix
• 13 years ago

This was an intense poem. I am a recovering heroin addict. I started smoking pot at 13, was addicted to cocaine by 14, and on my 16 birthday, after a year of smoking heroin, I slammed my first time. That was four years ago. I'm 20 years young, 16 months sober today, weighing in at 165 lbs.. thanks to rehab and works like this. Keep up the fight, much love.

• by Brendon, Australia
• 13 years ago

Your poem struck a deep chord for me . I am 3 yrs clean and sober from all substances. I lost my best mate 2 weeks ago to the needle and he lost his battle with addiction, himself and the world . This poems gives truthful and moving content and is the story of success that is achievable in all of us ....you are not alone and help is everywhere, choose life because the choice is yours, not the drugs ...

• by Cathy Frank, Wisconsin
• 14 years ago

This poem really touched me, my 19 year old son is addicted to Oxycontin. It's so hard to help when drugs rule their life. He got out of the psychiatric hospital in April of this year due to trying to commit suicide and he was out 4 hours and back on the oxy. He is now incarcerated but this gives me hope that maybe he can get the support without the drugs.

• by Lexilies
• 14 years ago

I'm glad you gained control, the good guys are meant to win the fights. when you're addicted to something its almost like being in an abusive relationship, you have chosen to get close to that person (substance) but once you choose to leave they are not gonna make it easy.

• by Gabby, Arizona
• 14 years ago

I've been addicted to heroin since I was thirteen, I'm only sixteen now, I was smoking and shooting it. I saw many friends die from it, but that didn't stop me. This poem is very true. I did not stop until I got arrested and put in jail for selling it. I withdrawed for days and thought I was dying, but I knew I wasn't going to stop until I for sure couldn't get it. I've been clean for two months, but I relapsed two days ago. This is a very strong fight and I will continue to fight with it everyday, I wish everyone luck who has this addiction problem.

• by Jennnifer, Ohio
• 15 years ago

Today is my 6th day clean. I was a heroin addict for a little over a year... I feel I still am one. I am on house arrest, and am looking at probable jail time in a couple weeks. I wish you all the luck I can, I know you need it just as I. Every new day brings that all-too-familiar-struggle. I never thought this before but addiction can be beat. We are proof.

• by Amber
• 15 years ago

I almost cried while reading this. I'm in a relationship with a man who chose to smoke heroin. Every verse of that poem just made me think of all the lies and hurtful things he's done lately... This inspired me to seek help for him

• by Lisa Disciascio
• 15 years ago

I don't know you but your story is very familiar, I am so proud of you!! I hope someone has told you that today, if not then I have told you. Keep it up, one day at a time.

• by Ronald Doe
• 15 years ago

I just love recovery poems. It's funny how just saying no releases us from the bondage of the drug. Prisoner no more, you are free. Stay that way.