Addiction Poem

This is a poem I wrote on February 1st, 2009 about withdrawing from Prescription medication and Heroin after using for weeks on end. Everything in this Poem is true, I feel I may have even left the worst parts out. If this poem can maybe keep one person from trying heroin for the first
time...well, that's a miracle.

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This feeling I used to look forward to because I thought my life was much worse then the pain that high gave me. Through out all this pain I was just looking for to be numb but it would...

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This Is My Life (On Heroin)

Published by Family Friend Poems June 2010 with permission of the Author.

Again and again, going through withdrawals
My eyes flutter, my skin crawls

Like many times before, I nod off again
In seconds I come to, unsure of where I am

I don't know, if I can take anymore
I'm sick yet again, and laying on the floor

The acid from my stomach, comes up my throat
This is my life...Lost without hope

All I can feel, is my bones violently shake
One little hit, is all it would take

It's hard to believe, i've gotten so weak
That I allow the tears, that roll down my cheek

My blood is cold, my veins are hot
My legs twitch, my arms flop

I try to get up, the pain only grows
The heater on full blast, the fan always blows

I won't wanna eat
I know I can't sleep

Never thought, i'd be this close to dying
All I can do, is lay here crying

I lay in my tub, soaking in the heat
My body feeling, brutally beat

I attempt to stand, the room goes black
I lay back down, my soul is trapped

All of this, may seem unreal
Yet many days, this is how I feel

My eyes wonder, I can't see straight
My mind goes back, to that place I hate

I feel the poison, leaking through my pores
I pick at my skin, leaving nothing but sores

I stay a little longer, laying in this dirty floor
Praying...Not to feel, these pains anymore

This is my life....

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by Ryleigh, Now York
10 years ago

This feeling I used to look forward to because I thought my life was much worse then the pain that high gave me. Through out all this pain I was just looking for to be numb but it would always give me pain and weakness and make me just want to try more and more to get rid of the pain from reality and my high.

by New Mexico
12 years ago

I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. You hit the nail on the head. It is the worst thing to have to go through. I suffered day in and day out for five years like that. When I got help I hurt non stop for a few day, but to my surprise it got better. As addicts we can choose to live everyday feeling like that. It's like if the cold pool water is our pain. The hot tub is our addiction, HOT and no where to go. And we jump in, get out and get in the hot tub, then back in the pool but each time you go from the hot tub back to the pool its colder. But If you have ever jumped into a pool and its cold and you stay in there and move around it gets less cold. If you let yourself get over being cold and let yourself get used to the water, you can once again play in the pool and enjoy yourself and it no longer is cold anymore. Give your self time to heal so and after a few days you will feel a little better everyday. And soon after your detoxed you will feel better, just keep with it.