Funny Poem About The Challenges Of Losing Weight, The Workout

Funny Poem About The Challenges Of Losing Weight

To be honest, my weight loss battles could be more aptly described as half-hearted tussles. Occasionally, I have managed to lose some weight, only to find it has snuck up on me again while I wasn't looking! But I also haven't lost my sense of humour, which is a good thing.

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This was positively delightful! I'm quite sure this sums up just about anyone who has ever tried to exercise, only to be utterly fed up with it in no time. This definitely got me laughing,...

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The Workout

Published by Family Friend Poems December 2019 with permission of the Author.

I need to lose weight, just a pound or twenty.
If I could lose fifty, well that would be plenty.
I could join a gym, but I don't have the gumption.
My legging clad legs aren't for public consumption.

My exercise bike is succumbing to rust
And only gets touched when I really must dust.
And much like a pet in need of attention,
It made me feel guilty (and slack not to mention).

The solution, of course, was such a no brainer.
I bought it a mate...an elliptical trainer!
This is quite easy! Or so I reckoned
When I tried it in store for a whole fifteen seconds.

But once it was home and I tried it for longer,
The pain in my side was all that got stronger.
I puffed and I gasped, till I couldn't breathe.
Kicked off at nine, it was now nine oh three.

Of course! The resistance must be way too high
But no, it read zero; I thought I might cry.
The six on the dial sat silently mocking,
My level of fitness was really quite shocking.

Motivation was all that I saw myself losing,
And my self-esteem was taking a bruising.
I tried it to music but all that achieved
It drowned out the sound of my poor creaking knees.

This instrument of torture could go take a hike.
I glanced now with longing at my trusty bike.
I couldn't recall why we had parted ways.
Climbed up on the seat and thought, Happy days!

I pedalled with gusto, but soon I remembered...
It felt like my buttocks were being dismembered.
The padding on my derrière is quite thick,
So why does it feel like I'm perched on a brick?

It was just all too hard; I gave up in disgust.
My plan to lose weight was clearly a bust.
Oh well...at least I can say that I tried it.
I mean, really, I can't be expected to diet!

Interview with Top Poet Cynthia C. Naspinski

What makes this poem one of your favorites?
I began writing the occasional humorous rhyme purely for my own enjoyment and to relieve boredom. There is a freedom in writing just for yourself, without any thought given to how others will perceive it. “The Workout” was one of my first, and I really enjoyed writing it, as the words came easily. It was also the first to be submitted and published.

What advice do you have for someone having a hard time sticking with a workout routine?
This question made me laugh, as I am the last person who should be giving advice on self-discipline. However, it’s true that we learn from our failures as well as our successes. Exercising with a friend, whether at the gym or going for walks, was far more enjoyable. It made all the difference to my commitment and motivation as well. Obviously, it also helps to find an activity you enjoy. Slogging away on a machine isn’t the only way to go. But if that’s what you want - try before you buy. Going to the gym gave me the chance to work out which equipment worked best for me (in other words, which one I hated least). So the rower was added to my collection at home, and it actually got used till it gave up the ghost.

You write about various topics, but many of your poems are humorous. What do you like most about funny poems?
Who doesn’t need a bit of fun and humour in their day? I think it does us good to laugh at ourselves or see the humour in everyday situations. I know it’s not very high brow, but sometimes I just need a break from all the sadness and seriousness in the world.

What is your favorite experience that has resulted from being published on Family Friend Poems?
It’s very heartening when someone thinks enough of your poem to give a rating, share it with others or leave a lovely comment. I’ve also received a couple of permission requests to use my poems, which blows me away.

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