Not Smart Enough For A Smart Phone

My son gifted me a phone, said it was very smart.
He said it would ease my life, that it was a new start.

Connect to internet, search for all you want to know.
No need for TV; on it, watch your favorite show.

It's time to throw out your ancient alarm clock.
You can shop for anything, from a ship to a sock.

You can find every address with the hi-tech map.
You can get rid of the wrinkles on your photo with an app.

You can pay your bills online with a single click.
You can order a meal, with just a finger-flick.

Now you can chat and tweet from your armchair.
Photos of your grandkids you can see and share.

You have the world at your fingertips now, said he,
But I struggle to make a simple call, Stupid Old Me!

I wanted to send a message to my oldest friend.
For dear, I typed dead and then pressed send.

I tried to watch a movie, but it made my eyes spin.
How to see those mini-figures on a tiny screen.

I tried to use the calculator; it took me an hour to find.
I could have added up the numbers faster in my mind.

Things get opened and switched on without my will.
I break into a sweat at the thought of my data bill.

Stop sending me "Good day texts" for goodness sake.
Those pings and rings give me a blasting headache.

So, for others, a smart phone may be trendy and hot.
For me, it's useless; as it's smart, but I am not.