Elusive Sleep

Restful sleep has proved elusive.
Lack of it is not conducive
To my overall wellbeing,
As I stare up at the ceiling.

Niggling aches and pains compound
To stop my sleep from being sound.
I toss and turn from side to side,
But all positions have been tried.

I am by all accounts quite round,
But when it comes to sleep, I've found
I wish I were more octagon -
A full eight sides to rotate on.

To lie flat on my back does tempt,
Though soon I find I must pre-empt
The snores I'm told will wake the dead
By rolling on my side instead.

And finally, I find my groove,
Then curse because I have to move.
The electric blanket's getting hot
And on this side the switch is not.

If comfyness arrives too late,
I'll feel the urge to urinate.
And once that tickle is perceived,
It soon demands to be relieved.

I do my utmost to ignore,
But know I'll have to go before
This little twinge of urgency
Becomes full blown emergency.

I hit the loo and park it there
With just a nanosec to spare.
Sit a while and contemplate
How so much could accumulate!

Back in bed, it starts again,
The quest to find my inner zen.
Must stop my thoughts from swirling round,
The ideal pozzy must be found.

At last my eyelids start to droop.
Don't need to pee, don't need to poop.
But then with dread I feel the heat
Rising upwards from my feet.

A damned hot flush is taking hold
And now I'm longing for the cold!
Sheet and quilt are tossed aside,
Must suffer through till it subsides.

Once again, I know I've failed.
Won't wake bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
I'll have no pep, I'll have no zing.
Rise and shine is not my thing.

I can't believe it's come to this.
I've tried my hardest to resist.
In order to not feel like crap,
I must embrace the nanna nap!