Tears For My Mother

I was asked to write a poem
About Mother's Day
But when I sat down to write
I had nothing to say

I could see that the task at hand
Was going to be very hard for me
Because of your feelings
I didn't want to hurt them, you see

But all I can do
Is write what's in my heart
And where you're concerned
I feel confused and torn apart

I deal with the issues
Of our relationship each day
I question if you liked me, loved me
And wanted me in any way

I've wanted to talk to you
About my issues for a long time now
But with the hurt, anger, and pain
I didn't know how

All I know is that all the good times
Are blocked from my mind
And all I can seem to remember
Is you leaving us behind

Like the times daddy would put us in the car
And we would go and look for you
Why you kept running away from your family
I hadn't the slightest clue

I used to worry about you a lot
And still do till this day
Wondering if you ever missed us
And praying that you were okay

I pray to God constantly
To somehow tighten our bond
I've cried about this so much
That my tears could fill up a pond

How I long to cry on your shoulder
While listening to you say
It's going to be all right, baby
Everything will be okay

I've begged, pleaded, and prayed
To feel your unconditional love
And often think that this is too big of a task
For the man up above

But when my child is away
I miss him so much that I ache
And wonder how you can be away from us
And not feel the same way

I wish that I could tell you
My deepest secrets, worries, and fears
So that you can console me
And wipe away my tears

Momma I love you so much
With all of my heart
But even when I'm near you
It feels like we're very far apart

I just worry about you so much
And often wonder if I should
Because I don't think you worry about me
Or even know if you could

I wish that I could take a step
Inside your mind and somehow understand
How and if we could mean less to you
Than drugs, friends, or a man

I cannot even begin to relate
To any aspect of your life
But I do know, that because of our issues
I've learned to be a good sister, mother, and wife

I could no longer ignore the issues
Of my fragile, broken heart
I have to somehow start the healing
And I need your help to mend the broken parts

Momma, my only prayer
Before either of us leave this earth
Is to create a better relationship
A strong bond we need to somehow birth

I didn't want to hurt you
Or in any way make you feel down
I only wish I could have made you
The happiest mother around town