I Needed You

• by Emmanuella Anderson
• 1 year ago

When I was 9 years old I lost my biological mother, the next year my dad got remarried and we moved to a new home, my new mom wasn't actually that bad, but things became rough when I got to adolescence, I felt misunderstood and unloved and I had the feeling that if my real mom was here it wouldn't be so, I didn't get along with my new mom as a teen because I couldn't meet her expectations, I was always found in the wrong and constantly misunderstood,
I grew up in an African home and we have set standards kids should meet, like every morning a child should wake up early to sweep the house and some other unnecessary things, anytime I couldn't meet the tiniest of her expectations, I would get insulted and verbally abused, she would always remind me of things I did in the past,
I suffered teen depression and my parents weren't aware of it, I got really good at lying and faking to be okay, I never really overcame , I only learnt to live with it.

• by Angie
• 5 years ago

This poem made me cry, considering I go through a similar thing with my own mom who showed nothing but regret of having me. Scrolling down seeing your name was Angie made me cry even more. I felt like I was reading my own feelings.

• by Vickyjackson18
• 7 years ago

With my mom I have done everything I can think of to help her and support her. Somehow I am the only child out of 5 that she does not want to spend any time with. I was always there when she needed me to do something for her, yet I can't get her to spend even one day with me just being mother and daughter. I would never and have never done this to my daughter, and it breaks my heart that she chooses everyone else in the family over me, the one who has always been there when she needed me. No more! I can't do it anymore. My heart just keeps breaking from her rejections.

• by Kajal Chaudhary
• 7 years ago

At times, I wonder what my life has become. I love someone who can never be mine. Today I am too far from my parents with both sides being at fault. I have started to hate my brother. I sometimes ignore seeing people to not to have a talk with them. Don't know what's happening around me...

• by Lola Hill
• 8 years ago

With my mom, I never know what's going to happen. I feel that in her world darker people don't matter. My little brother and I have different dads and he is lighter than me. To me, he's a brat. I never really know when people are my friend or just using me. I have nobody and my grandma keeps saying when she's gone she doesn't know what everybody's gonna do. I can't lose her. She's like my mom, the only thing I have to live for. My mom makes me feel unwanted, ugly, fat, but I know when I get rich I'm gonna act like I don't know her. I get mad very easily, yet I'm still nice, but that's the old me.

• by Cetera
• 8 years ago

I cried while I read this. I am a senior in high school and I have seen this poem become more and more of a reality in my life as the years have passed. In middle school, and freshman year, they cared. Now it's evident my parents have given up caring yet, they claim to say those same three words, "I love you."

My little sister is the one that gets almost all of the love while I am shown I'm a disgrace and once I actually try to speak to them about it, I'm told I'm a "drama starter".

So I completely understand and relate to this poem. Shouldn't parents be there for us when we cry? Shouldn't they also hold us close and actually tell us things will be okay when we're torn down? I myself am not very sure anymore as all that is shown to me is emotional neglect. No one in this family cares for the thoughts running through my head nor the tears running down my cheeks.

All we can do is keep going forward I suppose and hope that life is better in the years to come once the storm is over.

• by Joni
• 8 years ago

I'm still crying ....I can relate to this so much and I'm literally feeling something compressing my heart.

• by Solomon S. Udoh
• 8 years ago

Life is beautiful when there is a purpose why you live or who you live for. The amazing part of it is when you are in love and your sense of judgement is battered.
Three years ago I was in love with a young lady of about my age and we were so fond of each other. She called me amazing, she said I am her amazing grace sent from the messiah to be at her mercy. Quite amazing that words described how precious I was to her.
To me that young lady was everything I ever lived for, no words in the world has ever described how precious she was to me. She made my life so beautiful in many ways that sometimes I would ask myself what life would have been without her?.
One black Tuesday morning, I saw an sms from this lady-telling me that she is in love with another lover. As funny as it appeared to my eyes I confronted her and heard her say to me to my very face that "we were not meant to be". Tears and pain was never enough to watch someone I love with my life walk away from me without saying "goodbye".

• by Allison Sturn
• 8 years ago

I am a teen in high school and I've been feeling like this since middle school. I've resorted to self-harm to take away the pain of not being loved by my mom. I'm the youngest child but it seems to me that I'm the one that's a mistake. I get blamed for EVERYTHING. Everything that my brothers do I get in trouble for because I'm the one "that's a big disappointment to this family". I admit I made some mistakes but is it right for her to make me feel as if I'm just a wasted space. I wish she would tell me she loved me and not tell me all of these hurtful things about me.

• by Taylor
• 8 years ago

I cried so hard during this I had to take pauses, because I feel exactly the same way. I related so much to this it's sad.

• by Srishti Gupta
• 8 years ago

I really cried when I read this poem. Whoever has written it is really a great poet. My mom is very partial between me and my younger sister. She doesn't seem to love me at all. She never ever supports me in any way. I just want suicide. I'm a thirteen year old girl, I know I'm too small but big enough for my mom to tell me, "You are independent! Shut up! Behave like a grown up." She also beats me hard without any reason and is always suspicious of me. My younger sister always complains to my mom about everything. I love both of them but they do not.

• by Lauren, New Jersey
• 9 years ago

This really touched me and made me cry. I know this is about a mother, but I related it to my father. My parents divorced when I was 2 yrs old. My dad isn't the caring type at all. He grew up with a rough life also, primarily due to his father abandoning him. I was sexually assaulted at 14 yrs old. My dad wasn't there at all. My mom helped me in every way she knew how to, but I wouldn't even get a phone call from my dad. That made things so much more painful. Now, he lives on the other side of the country and hardly talks to me. Good riddance, pop.

• by N.M
• 9 years ago

This poem made cry because it is exactly how I feel. I wish my mom was there to be my friend and comfort me. It's like she dislikes me. I could never turn to her for anything. I wish we had that mother/daughter bond. It's come to a point where I don't even bother with her anymore. Every time I try I end up getting hurt. She adores my sister and that hurts me very much.....

• by Understood
• 10 years ago

I feel the exact same. Whenever I come home from school covered in bruises (thanks to bullies) my mum doesn't notice. She just sits in the same corner of the couch and stays on her phone. When she gave me a hand-me-down phone, which I'm very grateful for, I used it for homework and my brother used his for pure YouTube videos, she looks at me in disgust and says 'You f*cking idiot! Get off your phone and socialize with your family!' And she snatches my phone off me and continues FBing (face booking) with her friends. But then she looks at my older brother and says 'Dear, I just put $10 in your account. You can spend it on some lunch tomorrow'. Sometimes her friends son comes over to sleep and she admitted that she loved him more than she loved me. She just says 'He's going through a really hard time'. His mum broke up with her boyfriend and they moved house but it was almost a year ago and she still says 'He's being a very good boy!' And scolds me when I tell her all the bad stuff he does which happens all the time. She made me sleep outside once for him. (It rained overnight as well) I feel for you. I also cut myself but Mum and my mum just says 'good job!' Because she doesn't pay attention. I cry at night because of this but she just says to everyone 'She's sulking because she can't get the stuff she wants' and then her friends scold me and tease me while she sits and laughs. I Love her but I really do consider running away as an option.

• by Joan, Philippines
• 10 years ago

I cried so much after reading this poem and the comments. My parents hardly ever show me that they love me. I know deep down that they do but it just never felt like it. When I was in preschool they showed their love for me but somehow it felt fake. They never believed me when I told them I was being bullied. I told them that I fought back the bullies in defense and... they still didn't believe me. I even tried to ask for help from my teacher but she just told me "Shoo! I'm having a conversation." Although I knew the conversation was unimportant as I hear her laugh and joke around. One time, my mom even told me how she wanted to kill me sometimes and how she has been thinking of disowning me. I mean, who tells that to a child? For 14 years and still going, they have hurt me both physically and mentally that I even thought about taking my own life as I felt all the more unwanted and unloved. I just want them to tell me they love me. Just once.

• by Maite, King City California
• 10 years ago

Mother is a druggie, basically my whole family is. I'm the youngest of 4 was filled with so much happiness as a kid. As I got older the less love I got from my mom. Father was never around left me and one of my brothers when we were babies. From moving place to place motel to motel I grew so much hate towards my mom. I always prayed that she would change her ways. I grew up wanting to accomplish so much talked about my future how I wasn't going to turn out like my mom or brothers or "sister". So much happened in short time. I seeked love from my mom but only real parents I had were my grandma and grandpa that I love so much. I got no love. Everyone else did. I asked God many times why does the person that brought me to this world not love me how could she not? I no longer seek love I got tired of trying. Always fighting with her got old. So I got love from a razor blade, caused pain that took away the other pain I felt. Cutting became a habit of mine. Later started using drugs.

• by Aylin, China
• 10 years ago

Very true this poem for me too... I never had any love from both of parents. They even asked me several times to leave their house or tortured me to wake up at 5 am in the morning and go on the street to find a job ! In a economy where is very hard get a job even if you have relationships to government. I was on the streets crying and in the church crying many times. Now I am 35, I am mature girl, but even in my personal life, I only loved, but nobody loved me and today I was thinking about this, when a child is unwanted, that child will never have love, no matter from which side. It's sad to see how people that you named them once "friends" treat you so bad and consider you a nothing after you treated them well. It's sad to see that there is nobody in this world to help you with something ! I need always ask someone help me, sometimes I was need do things that I hated them, in order to get help...Is sad.. but true...

• by Mitzi
• 11 years ago

My mother sent me away when I was 4 or younger. Endured abuse. Physically and sexually. Now she is dying and all it matters to her is my youngest sister and her sons. How sad I feel. I went to say goodbye before she passes. Never told her about the abuses, it did not matter anymore.

• by Kimeal
• 11 years ago

Wow...I'm blown away right now. Just when you think you're all alone, you read this heartfelt article and touching stories, and realize we share something together- we all long for that motherly love. But I also realize that you're never too old to still long for that love. I'm a 41 years old woman who desire so bad to be hugged and told...I love you. But this is where acceptance plays a big part: it may never happen! Therefore, I must learn to accept my unfulfilled relationship with my mom and move on with a forgiving heart. But the love I long for...I must transfer it to my children. This experience is a training ground for my own family...that I must love like I never been loved before. We know what that feels like. Therefore, we must turn it around and deliver it wholeheartedly to our own families. Last but least...God's love surpasses all understanding. Only He can fill the God shaped hole we have in our heart. May God bless you all with true peace and love that comes from above.

• by M S, Dallas
• 11 years ago

My mom always told me since I was a little girl how she liked my other two sisters. Either she beat me herself or ask my father to beat me with a belt when. She would hug them and kiss them while as a 10 year old I was there to witness but not a recipient of her love. As a 25 year old adult after I told her that her cousin sexuality abused me as a child her reaction was nothing. 2 years later when I traveled all to my birth country to see my family she had THAT cousin to pick me up from the airport! She visited me 5 years ago while I was divorced and a single mom of 2 and clinically depressed. she brought a small gift for me I took her everywhere shopping and did so much for her. When she left she called my best/only true friend and asked for the gift was not for me and she left it there. I became bedridden because of depression and lost my friend! She instigated my sister (her fav child) to call and threaten my family.

• by Cueva, Philippines
• 12 years ago

This poem really fits to my situation right now. Since I was a child I never really felt my Mother's love for she passed away already. I've been longing for a Mother love, but still I haven't experienced it yet. There are people around whom I thought that really loved me but they betrayed me. They never believe me. I thought I could feel love from them but I was totally wrong. I thought they knew me already inside out but the truth is they're even doubting. It's really a heart to assume that people loved you but they didn't love you the first place. I'm still longing for a Motherly love..

• by Tiffany, Colorado
• 12 years ago

Ever since my mother had me at the age of 19, she's blamed me for my birth and her lack of a youth. I was physically abused when I was younger. I'd show up at daycare with hand-shaped bruises on my arms, and once I had a slap mark on my face. Slowly, her abuse turned into the emotional kind. I was constantly a failure in her eyes and I ruined all hopes and dreams she had for me. Thus, my grades began to plummet from straight-A's to C's, D's, and even a few F's. This just started the hateful circle all over again. I was forced to move the day after graduation because if I stayed at the house I'd have to pay $350 a month in rent (in a house of 5 people, 2 of which worked). There were no jobs in the small town in which I lived, so I was forced to move in with my grandparents half a country away. They treat me right and I help out immensely around the house and yard. I feel loved here. However, my mother contacted me yesterday and abandoned me using the internet. It was heart-wrenching.

• by Eleanor Robinson
• 13 years ago

I have just had a crap week and I am always in tears right now. All my mum has done is told me to stop crying and grow up. I really need her told just hold me tight and say "I love you" just once... just once and I will be happy. It has actually been nearly four years since she said those words to me- on my tenth birthday. Never again has she told that and never again has she hugged close for comfort and had a gossip with me. It is all anger with her now. I am crying whilst reading this poem because it is so so so so so so true.

• by Rebecca Meadows
• 15 years ago

WOW!!! This is me for so many years. It was not until I begin to trust Jesus that I realized that I have been looking for something from my mom I will never receive. I know deep down somewhere she loves me because she gave birth to me. But I really feel she doesn't like me. I spent many years questioning myself on who I am and what I have become just to show her she can be proud of me. But it never worked, I was still lonely and longing to be loved. I spend my time now working with other young girls longing to be loved. I spend my energy loving them instead of me trying to be loved.

• by Sarah
• 15 years ago

I love this poem.....It reminds me of my mother..... She got custody of me two years ago. My step dad always cut me down and she let it happen.....I was depressed and over dosing on pills and she dropped me off at rehab, never came to visit and never spoke to me on the phone. I ran away from there and now I live with my daddy. It's been 8 months since my mom and I have spoken. I just wish she would call.

• by Jean
• 15 years ago

It is so sad how so many girls grow up without having a mother's love, for whatever reason. Mother's, if you have a daughter, tell her you love her. Don't just assume that she knows. Everyone needs to be told they are loved. The reason that this world is so full of hurting children is because they never felt that they were special enough to be told and shown that they deserved to be loved. I know that there are exceptions to that, but a lot has to do with not having a guiding hand in their daily life. It not enough to be present but to truly be involved with your kids. No one asks to be born, it is a special gift to be given life and should be treated as such. I often wonder where has the natural love from a mother to her kids gone. I am praying for this girl and her mother and all the others of this world. Take today and make it a day of change. I hope that whoever reads this knows that God loves them and that they are never alone with Him. They can turn their hurts and needs to Him.

• by Mel Mc Farlane
• 15 years ago

this poem really touched me brought tears, its how I felt for years when my mum left me for her new boyfriend and walked away from me at 15 left in this world felling numb, I battled with the drink and drugs anything to feel numb so I didn't have to deal with it. I'm 30 now and still battling for my mum to realize what she did to me and to get her to love me.

• by Fanny Mae Marin Martinez
• 15 years ago

all I need is mom LOVE MOM I really need you and you're not there for me.... when I need you only dad is. Why mom I LOVE YOU YEA but I really need you to be there for me.......................

• by Kavita
• 15 years ago

This poem has really touched me. I have always felt like an unwanted child due to the biased attitude of my mother towards my siblings. Being the eldest child in the family, my mother always used me for her ends and was quick to blame me for things which I did not do. On the other hand, she always defended my younger sister and brother even when they had faulted drastically. She always enjoyed letting me down in front of my sister. My sister, who is an opportunist and a very shrewd person, took advantage of the situation and lost no opportunity in humiliating me and depriving me of what I rightfully deserved. Even my marriage was arranged without my knowledge, and thereafter my whole life has become a bed of thorns. Tears, pain and depression control my life and for all this, they blame my luck and not their deeds. I ask God, what did I do deserve all this, when I only wanted true love and understanding from my family.

• by Kelly
• 15 years ago

As a workaholic mother, I heard my daughter telling me these things as she was growing up. I didn't know what to do or what my daughter needed from me. I was too busy working to slow down and think about it. Now that I'm on disability from work, I've had time to see my failures to her. I've asked her for forgiveness. I have pledged to be here for her and love her no matter what. I hope, in time, she will realize how much I do love her! Thanks for the poem Angie - I understand now.

• by Isabella
• 16 years ago

This poem is exactly what I feel about my mother. God knows I have given her everything in terms of care, understanding, acceptance, tolerance... you name it I have done it all, in spite of all these, I never felt her love? She never respected my feelings, never appreciate all the good things I've done for her, never show care. I know it's bad to even think of this but sometimes I wish I am not her real daughter (God forgive me?) so I can give a justification for all her actions!

• by Tesha
• 16 years ago

I feel this story a lot my birth mother abandoned me. She let her boyfriend rape me while she did the same thing to me. She was no mother I had to live in fear each day, but now I'm fine and happier then ever. I'm glad I have a mother figure in my life that cares about me, my aunt by birth