Most days I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
I want my mother back; who is this monster you have become?
I really haven't known who you are for quite a while,
But I try to act tough, so I force this fake smile.
You love someone else way more than me.
Her name is Crystal Meth, and I don't think she'll ever set you free.
She's had you in her hands for about 10 years,
But all of those years are nothing compared to my fear.
Fear of you lying,
Fear of you dying,
Fear of having so much faith in you and just being left crying.
You wrote me letters from prison and promised the sky.
More than 3 years later and nothing but lies.
Nothing but heartache, pain, and misery...
I GET IT NOW; you chose her over me.
You've told me to my face that it was drugs over me.
Even that wasn't enough to make me see.
Today you will tell me that you are clean.
You give me so much hope, then tomorrow it's the same ole' dope phen.
I'm telling you now that I am through with you.
This comes from my heart and every word of it is true.
I can't promise that I will be around to see,
But when you get tired of that meth, you will see.
All along you had something way better,
And it was your family.
I do thank you so much for one thing.
Thank you for showing me how important a good mother should be
And to never show my children the pain that you showed me.
So, today I officially set myself free
Because I know there's a stronger woman in me.
Dear Asia Sherie, I love your message and am inspired by your generosity, enduring love, and positivity. As an adult child of a terribly abusive father and stepMonster, as well as a 4+ year...
My Mother Vs. Meth
Published by Family Friend Poems November 2008 with permission of the Author.
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Dear addicts & families, I too was a mom, addicted to cocaine for 20 years and meth for four, before beating all substances and drink. 13th April 2018 at 56, I quit completely. I am 4 years totally clean and sober, have never missed any of my mad, mad world from before and for me it was giving up all 12 step programs and trusting God to work with me daily, instead. I had to trust Him as I never WHOLEHEARTEDLY had before.
In 2017, I lost my 20-year-old son. I lost our home where I raised him by having the brilliant idea to "...just move somewhere else..." Five years later with 4 years sobriety and spiritual awakening with humility, I didn't regain my son except a few texts a year. Nor a new home. I slowly faced the many hurtful things I said to my boy. I pray humility, willingness & for his happiness.
I live in my van with my cat, but I have more than I did before. Thank you, Jesus.