Living With Dementia

• by Demented Girl
• 10 years ago

Hi all,
I am a fellow caregiver and just came across this site...
I have been a young(ish!) carer for my mother-in-law, who suffers from dementia, for the last three years now.
I am in the process of creating a new poetry site primarily aimed at carers, but also people with dementia as well - http://dementiapoetry.com.
The blog is an honest account of my experience of caring over the last few years in poems - some silly, some exasperated, some happy, some sad - of my last three years caring for my mother-in-law, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease, and is aimed at helping to support other caregivers in a similar position.
If you would be happy to link to me, I would gladly return the favour!

DG x

• by Cindy
• 10 years ago

It is the most hardest, saddest thing to see your Mother slowly fading. In the beginning we all thought it was just old age. Than my step father passed and than my Mother started to progress quickly. Hallucinating, wandering from room to room, not being able to sit for more than 5 minutes, some days forgetting how to use the toilet. Some days I just cry. Just so sad. She is in a home now but I just have to be there every day. My husband needs twenty-four hour care (from having a stroke) so I divide my time between the two. Some days I have a real hard time dealing with all this. My Mother is 75. She's supposed to be enjoying life now.

• by Geraldine
• 10 years ago

It's a few weeks since I wrote about my mother with dementia, my mother is gone to the last stage of dementia the end of life. She has stopped eating, and won't take her blood pressure tablets. The doctor said it could be any time from now on, it's terrible watching her fade away, my father only died the end of November, gone in the nursing home with lung disease. If anyone has any feedback on end of life, I would be most grateful. thank you.

• by Linda
• 10 years ago

I live with my dementia mother for the past 2 yrs. Wanted to give my mother the best I quit job and terminated our maid. My mother started her dementia in early days after my father's death. During then I thought she'd be ok in the long run. However, she started hallucinating and that was when I plan to look after her full time.

• by Geraldine
• 10 years ago

My mother has dementia, it is heartbreaking to see the way she is now, cannot walk, go the bathroom, wanting to go home to her mother who has passed. It just gets worse, having to leave my mother in a nursing home broke my heart. She really does not have any good days. I love her so much, my heart goes out to everyone who has dementia, and their family.

• by Kamo, New Zealand
• 10 years ago

This poem really touched me. It is nearly two years since I reluctantly put my husband into full time care.
I visit him every other day. He usually recognizes me but does not know who I am. Just a face that he knows. Luckily he has stayed his placid self and always says "thank you" when anyone does anything for him.
I think it is harder on me than him as he is now in his own world. He had to be restrained as he kept getting up and falling and is not mobile anymore and has to have everything done for him.
Really sad for such an active man to end up like this.

• by Susan, Essex
• 11 years ago

I work in a care home caring for people suffering dementia of varying degrees of severity. It is a job I love, very rewarding, but also very difficult, it gives me immense joy when I can get through to a person who mostly would scream and hurl abuse at me, this I do not mind. I understand the confusion they must feel. When someone can relay to me parts of their pasts, their jobs, their homes their families, to see them smile or sometimes cry as they remember, it is good to know just for that short time they seem to be feeling happy, and I have spent time with them and helped to bring forth this happiness. Then when they have forgotten a short while later, everything they have told me, sadness takes over, but I continue to try to bring them back to a good place in their minds, God bless all those who are suffering this very cruel disease.

• by Loretta, NY
• 11 years ago

I am a caregiver for the elderly and I have seen the hardest of times with Dementia and Alzheimer.
It is horrifically sad to see such wonderful people taken by loss of memory. The people who get this from my experience loose not only themselves but their past, the future, their family, their friends. They lose their home which is sacred to them, their pets.
Why is it that special people have such awful diseases? The stages are as scary as the names.
They go from one day having just a little memory loss to a month later forgetting where they come from, then months down the road they just don't understand who is around them why they are here or there. My heart breaks for each and every one of my beloved people I have taken care of and still am taking care of. We have to be their voices and their hearts and their souls until they part from this life just so they go with dignity.

• by Wanda, Texas
• 11 years ago

This poem reminded me so of my darling mother, she passed away in July of 2012, after living for about a decade with AD. It's always hard to place your love one in someone else's care, but with AD in the advanced stages, it's the kindest thing to do. This horrible disease steals the mind of your love and leaves them with a shell of a body.

• by Jasmine
• 11 years ago

My Grandfather had memory lapses and passed away recently and this poem remind me so much of him , some days he couldn't remember me other days he could.

• by Kim, Winterville
• 11 years ago

I love this poem it describes my mother so well, as she has since passed in April of this year it will be 4 years My mother had Alzheimer's, and it was the saddest thing to see my mother go through such a terrible disease. I know LOVE conquers everything!! I embraced my mother everyday with LOVE and UNDERSTANDING until she passed away!

• by Debbie Bellis
• 11 years ago

Hi, beautiful poem.
Dementia is the saddest thing ever. I too am going through it with my mum, I'm so sad constantly I can't believe how many people are going through this. My heart is with you all god bless you xxx

• by Jeanne Hannah
• 12 years ago

In 1978 my mom had a breakdown and so to help we added a wing onto our home in 1985 so I could help out. In 1990 my dad became partially paralyzed and a few years later he suffered with Parkinson's disease until his death in 2000. After my father's death my mother's dementia started to progress. Needless to say at age 66 I have burned out being the only Caregiver! Because I want the best for my mother I want to place her in a GOOD home where she can be watched over both day and night, but I'm getting the wrath of God from many for upsetting my mom. I'd like to share that Caring for your aging parent is a hard job and friends and family should care about the caregiver's well-being too!!!! I want my mom to be in a safe environment where she can be watched 24/7 and I can start enjoying my kids again and my grandkids...does that make me bad????

• by Aly, Texas
• 13 years ago

Wow... I loved this poem and will have to share it with my family! Both my stepdad and my Pawpaw have Picks disease, a type of dementia. This is such a horrible thing... But then you'll have days where it's like the old him is back! I always say its better to laugh than cry.

• by Jessica Phillips
• 14 years ago

wow, this really touched me, my grandfather had Alzheimer's disease, and I know how you felt. he soon forgot how to walk, talk, and he didn't know anybody. he passed 3 years this coming April 15th, he's no longer sick.! - Great poem, it was beautifully written

• by Karen
• 14 years ago

Hi my name is Karen and I work in a home for people with dementia, it is the most heartbreaking job that I have ever done and I love them all. They have touched my heart in a way that I cannot explain, if I can make them smile, I go home smiling, if they have a bad day I go home feeling sad, they are people who still have feelings. I am just one of many who feel this way. people are often frightened of dementia because they do not understand, but they are people like you and me, but they are trapped in a world of their own.

• by Caveat emptor
• 15 years ago

Dementia is a hard thing to take, i just cannot work out if its harder for you or harder for your love one?

To answer my own question, I won't forget
those visits to the home to see mother.
What a joy to see her smiling face
as she turned and said, "Are you my brother".

What could I say? The truth? Of course.
"No mother, its me, your son John"
What a joy to see her smiling face
She replied, "My son! Have I got one?"

The home to her was like a prison
and many times she said, "Do I live here?"
It was a joy to see her smiling face
I forgot how many times I said, "Yes dear."

From 80 to 90 dementia destroyed her
until she was taken into Gods grace.
I hope he knows just what he as taken?
When he looks with joy at mums smiling face.

• by tanea b flores
• 16 years ago

I was searching the website for poems and found this one which touch my heart as my own mother is suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's and she to has good days as we do. thanks.