STOP Suicide Poem

Suicide Of Brother

My brother Jim - age 46 - took his own life 5 years ago and left our family devastated. As far as we are aware, this was due to financial problems. A death by suicide is a death that leaves so many unanswered questions and so much guilt. It is hard to comprehend and makes the grieving process so much harder. Too many young people are finding it harder to cope with the pressures of society. This poem is just my story. There are many, too many more stories that are sadly the same.

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I had seven children Joshua was the sixth out of the bunch. He shot himself in the head 7-6-2024 he was 19-year-old. We are so lost and I'm in fear for the other children I hold so dear. The...

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Jim

Published by Family Friend Poems October 2018 with permission of the Author.

If I had reached out my hand,
Would you have taken it that day?
Could I have made you feel better?
Could I have made you okay?
Could I have pulled you away
From the dark into light?
Brought you right back to a safe place
And just held you tight?

Why didn't you shout louder?
Why couldn't we hear?
You were all alone that morning,
All alone in your fear.
I know we could have saved you
If we had just seen
You stuck in that pain and torment.
How long had it been?

Your burden you carried
In an invisible case.
You suffered in silence
With a smile on your face.
So many questions we have.
So many words unspoken.
Why didn't we know
That your life was so broken?

I miss you each day.
I try to understand your choice.
If I close my eyes, try hard,
I can still hear your voice.
I know you are free now,
Free to fly high.
I imagine I see you
When I look up to the sky.

I can't turn the clock back.
I can't change time,
But oh how I wish I could,
Sweet brother of mine.
I know you are still with us,
Watching, keeping us safe,
And one day we'll meet again
In a heavenly place.

more by Jacqueline A. Grieve

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!

by Marie
2 weeks ago

My big brother died a month ago, he had just turned 23. He took his life after many years of trying to survive in his mind, when a life-changing event happened, and he could no longer keep going. I love him so much and miss him every day. We are three siblings I also have a little sister. We live in a complicated family where feelings are hard, manipulation is common, and you are just as good as your last performance. He is the smartest, best person I know, and I have always looked up to him. The things he struggled with, I struggle with to this day, maybe that's why I couldn't comfort him when he felt bad. I have always thought that it was I, not him. I never thought he would do it. Tomorrow is his funeral. This poem has helped me, thank you.

by Dawn M. Davis
2 weeks ago

Reading your words hit home hard. When I lost one of my big brothers over 30 years ago now. Yet every little detail of the last time I saw him, comes to mind and I didn't speak, Yet knowing something was amiss. Families can and are complicated. Yet through poetry and my own journey through mental health issues, I found my own path. It takes time and lots of mistakes are made. But I have my own family and yes it's complicated, with four grown girls and two grandchildren who are teenagers. Life can still be hard and I struggle with my conditions. But I keep pushing as something is pulling me on. I like to think it's him doing what he felt he couldn't do, giving me the strength to ask for help when I needed it most. I wish you lots of love and strength through your grief .

by Kim Moore
8 months ago

I had seven children Joshua was the sixth out of the bunch. He shot himself in the head 7-6-2024 he was 19-year-old. We are so lost and I'm in fear for the other children I hold so dear. The pain and torment my beautiful boy went through I know all to well. Seems to be something passed down through our blood. It's hard fighting my own despair, trying to hold on, to show the others there's more to this life than pain. Begging God don't let any of us do the same.

by Daniel Harrison
5 months ago

I lived & knew the same pain. Nov. 1, 2023, I was notified by the Police that my brother had taken his own life (the same way as your son). I was in disbelief & denial. I went through interrogations from multiple agencies. My body & mind were in such shock. All I could do was talk about him to everyone & tell everyone I ran into contact with. Eventually, the pain started to become less & less each time I spoke about him. Don't get me wrong. The pain is still there, but it's more bearable to talk about as time goes by. I was in so much disbelief that I was finally asked by all agencies that were involved, if I wanted to see the crime scene photos. We couldn't afford a funeral, so cremation was our only option financially. I couldn't comprehend that my brother did this & denied it was him. I really didn't want to see my brother this way, so they picked one photo out of all of them & let me view it. Once I viewed it & saw it was my brother, it hit me that my brother was gone.

by Whitney E Maples
4 years ago

My husband died September 2019. He committed suicide by cop. He was in over his head and saw no other way out. It took my soul. I struggle every day to find closure.

by Ahmet Kus
5 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss. Lives do really matter and we should really watch what is going on around us.

by Tarul Sharma
5 years ago

A year ago my best friend and boyfriend killed himself. The real ache lies beneath the fact that I probably knew what was the reason and could have prevented anything from happening had I not been so caught up in my own life. I loved him, but unfortunately there weren't enough times I had told this to him. I so desperately wish I could go back in time and tell him that he wasn't unloved and that he meant the world to me. There were so many questions left unanswered, and now they'll remain like that because he isn't here to explain why he did what he did. Coping with someone's death is a lifelong process, not to the viewers but to the sufferers. And I am so sorry you had to suffer through all this. We can only wish the things to be different, but in the end that's all they are - wishes. The departed will never come back to us, but they are always in our heart and all we can think to ourselves is that they are somewhere better than this world.