Walking down the hospital corridor
I grip hold of my mum's hand,
Fighting against the tears.
Because, only an hour ago,
I had been told my father had cancer.
And only an hour ago,
My life came to a screeching halt.
Somehow, my hair isn't a priority
Make-up doesn't even cross my mind.
I just feel a raging, overwhelming need to be with my
Dad.
The rain is dripping off the window pane.
Tip-tap, tip-tap, tip.
I can hear my sister's tiny shoes pound the hospital floor
Bless her little soul.
She's clinging onto my mum's hands.
Unable to walk independently
At a mere 7 months old.
Her infectious giggle is echoing in the
Deathly silent corridors
She points to a passing car outside
"Ooooh!" She squeals.
Her delicate, innocent, angel face
Puts a sorrowful smile on mine.
Would she be so content if she knew what was going on?
As the ward door approaches,
I freeze on the spot
"Natalie, come on. Dad's waiting for us."
In my mind, I want to. I really do.
But physically, I just can't.
I'm scared.
Scared he's not coming home.
Scared he's going to die in that very bed.
I feel my mum's arms around me.
Smell the comforting smell of her Channel perfume
Feel her hands stroking my hair
And then, I realize... I'm crying.
But as heartless as it sounds, I don't' feel a connection to her.
I am unable to feel her, emotionally.
I don't feel anything towards her.
I'm so selfish
She needs me.
Poem About Father With Pancreatic Cancer
Today marks a year that I lost my father to stage 4 lung cancer which traveled to his brain as well. I didn't speak to father much before I found out he was diagnosed, but the minute I...
The Beginning
Published by Family Friend Poems May 2008 with permission of the Author.
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