Poems by Pat Fleming

I lost a precious part of me
Where you once dwelled, dear friend.
A bond that spanned a lifetime
Came abruptly to an end.

Will my memories sustain me
Even now that you have gone?
Or will your image slowly fade away
Without your face to gaze upon?

I will never feel the comfort
Of your loving, warm embrace.
You will never make me laugh again
Until my stomach aches.

When my heart is feeling lonely,
You won't answer when I call,
And when I start to lose my balance,
You can't catch me if I fall.

I won't have your voice of reason
When I start to lose my way
Or your reassuring words of strength
When I'm feeling so afraid.

I will treasure all those good old days,
All those secrets that we shared,
So that carefree girl I was with you
Won't completely disappear.

I'll hold tightly to your memory
And forever miss you so.
But I'll trust that God must need you more,
And I will gently let you go.

The horror we endured that day,
The shock, the pain, the fear.
A nightmare unimaginable
To those of us still here.

Dust and ashes, souls swept away,
A city brought down to her knees.
The losses so horrendous,
Visions too monstrous to believe.

The devastating images
In all our hearts remain.
The destruction of humanity
Left us all forever changed.

The faces of those cruelly lost
Are burned inside our minds
And the mournful tears still resonate
Of those loved ones left behind.

The heroes and the victims,
The acts of courage through that hell.
The tales of stunning miracles
That each survivor lived to tell.

Human beings blindly reaching out
To save the strangers in their wake.
Risking all without a thought
Just for someone else's sake.

A ravaged, urban war zone
Now just remnants of mankind.
An incomprehensible catastrophe
That stopped all sense of time.

How could we ever rise again?
Was there a way to make things right?
Did any fight still live inside of us?
Was there any hope in sight?

We fought for our humanity!
We carried on for those we lost!
We kept on moving forward
For those who paid so dear a cost!

Decades have passed and here we stand,
Our flag waves boldly in the breeze.
It's our faith in God and country
That now brings us to our knees!

Names etched in bronze with pride and sorrow
So the world remembers them.
It's the power of their memory
That helped to make us strong again!

As the morning bell was sounding
We settled in our seats,
And Ms. Williams wrote upon the board
The list of work we would complete.

It felt like any other day
With no apparent change.
The sounds around me so familiar,
Every moment seemed the same.

The whispers of my closest friends,
A class singing down the hall,
Ms. Williams' soft, assuring voice,
And the squeaking of her chalk.

Anticipation of our lunchtime break
And my choice, PB and J,
Then back to work until the final bell
And the end of our school day.

But then in one split second
Our whole world came crashing down,
When the safety we all had shared
Was shattered by a booming sound.

That booming sound continued.
It seemed to come from everywhere.
I could hear some children screaming
And a smoky, egg smell in the air.

Ms. Williams looked so frightened
That my heart began to pound.
I felt myself begin to panic
As we all dropped to the ground.

Beneath our desks we huddled
While we held our best friends tight.
I closed my eyes and held my breath
And cowered there in fright.

I thought about my Mom and Dad
And knew that soon they'd come.
But then he breached our classroom door
And started shooting everyone.

Sally drooped inside my arms!
We were falling one by one!
Blood was splattered everywhere
As he wielded his big gun!

The world was growing darker now
And I shivered from the cold.
I reached for Sally's bloody hand
So I had something I could hold.

We prayed someone would save us
And take this monster far away.
But each moment we grew wearier
Until we knew it was too late.

And then the last bell of the day
Echoed loudly through the halls.
But instead of children's laughter
There was not a single sound at all!

Lately when I wake each day,
The sunlight hurts my eyes,
And when I think of yesterday,
I want to just curl up and cry.

It seems that life is getting harder,
My sense of loneliness extreme,
My sadness more disabling,
And the abuse now more routine.

I've discovered a reality
That has consumed my very life,
Which is sometimes even breathing
Can become a constant fight.

There are moments so exhausting
From the internal, chronic pain,
That death itself seems like a blessing
Because living life's become my bane.

I thought that age would garner needed peace,
A final freedom for my soul.
But instead, the chaos and the conflict
Have grown worse as I've grown old.

It seems that some of those bad choices
That I made along the way
Remain with me just like my shadow
And will chase me to my grave.

It only takes one other person
To change your life into a hell
And make your home a ceaseless battlefield
Rather than the haven where you dwell.

My compassion and my tolerance
Proved my most pathetic traits.
They were my vices hiding in disguise
That led me to my wretched fate.

I believed in love and people changing.
I overestimated my own skills.
I thought that I could transform anyone
Through my sheer intellect and will.

Now it's far too late for changes now
The Monster's reached his grandest scale
And compared to him in all his glory,
My aged strength and weapons pale.

But I discovered an advantage,
Which I hope to master soon.
Providing that this nightmare
Doesn't render me a hopeless loon.

I now accept my dreary prison,
And I accept there's no escape.
I accept that through this misery
My heart and soul I may forsake.

I have discovered that one's death can come
Even when their heart is beating
And that instead of fighting back sometimes
The wiser move is in retreating.

I will stay silent and invisible.
I won't challenge or debate.
I'll play possum for my enemy
And perhaps I will stay safe.

At last, my fate will rest with God above
And my perdition will be done
Whether the Monster meets his just defeat
Or my own eternal rest will come.

When I stand small before the ocean
In her vast infinity,
I'm consumed by all her beauty
And my profound humility.

When I succumb to her enticement
And the beckoning of her waves,
I become her eager servant
And her shameless, willing slave.

The chill in her mighty, salty touch,
My mere self in her boundless embrace,
Sharing the rhythm of her shifting surf
Everything else in the world is erased.

When she slowly grows more placid
And I float limp within her peace,
I see only the blue sky up above
I hear only the sounds of the sea.

But alas she's a moody enchantress
Turning fierce when the harsh wind blows.
She'll come thundering forth without mercy
To warn me it's past time to go.

As I sit on the toasty, sparkling sand
And I watch her play tag with the shore,
People stand by her quite mesmerized,
She's a marvel that can't be ignored.

There are moments I call her my loyal chum
And I trust her implicitly.
But then she may wield all her force my way
And I realize I'm out of her league.

When the summer is drawing nigh to a close
And my visits more precious and brief,
When the chill of the winter is all there is
I'll find warmth in her sweet memory.

I will think of her beauty in the early morn
When the sun starts to light up the sky
And she shimmers upon her in sheer delight
Like bright diamonds before my eyes.

I'll imagine the boats in the distance,
The wind pushing their bright, graceful sails
The aroma of the sea and her salty bite
As I lift up my chest and inhale.

I will think of her often as time passes by
So unfettered, dynamic, and free
I'll imagine the joy when I see her again
And hope she'll be glad to see me.

There is nothing that can quite compare
To the fragrance of the fresh spring air,
Floating on the softest breeze,
Stirring the world from its frozen sleep.

The merry, twittering early birds
Now usher in the dawn,
Filling the quiescent silence
With a panoply of song.

The sun's an early riser.
Her brilliance cannot be ignored.
She demands complete attention
From the still, lethargic world.

The naked, drooping sullen trees
And the brown and barren earth
Begin to show those subtle signs
Of their glorious rebirth.

The greenest green of grassy lawns
Begin to sprout and grow,
Creating deep plush emerald quilts,
Replacing mounds of crystalline snow.

Neatly tended flower beds
Filled with splashy, bursting buds
Lift their heads as they proudly swoon
Beneath the dazzling sun.

The deeply limpid azure sky
Can fill with clouds of gray,
And the smiling sun may suddenly cry,
Revealing the moods of a lush spring day.

Skeletal trees once standing exposed,
Now bedecked in verdant leaves,
Dance proudly and unabashedly
In the hushed and warm spring breeze.

The deadly winter quiet
And that sense of desolation
Is now broken by the sounds of life
And the world's excited jubilation.

Spring has sprung and hope renewed
As people open up their doors.
Those gloomy days and that frigid air
Won't stop them anymore.

Every season has its beauty.
Nature's glory cannot be denied.
But strolling through a blossoming park
Is much better than slumbering inside.

I feel as if I'm teetering
High above a dark, black hole,
And it's taking everything I have
Not to lose control.

My feet keep slipping off the tightrope.
My arms start flailing in mid-air.
I'm sweating 'neath the scorching sun,
Blinded by its savage glare.

I've been swaying on this tightrope now
For more than half my life.
But it seems to go on into infinity
With no terminus in sight.

One shaky foot in front of the other,
My aging body sore and stiff.
I've considered acquiescence.
Perhaps it's time for me to quit.

I'm so focused on survival
And never looking down
That I've lost sight of all the beauty
That is everywhere around.

The mountains towering over me
With white blankets on their peaks.
The green and sparkling river
Flowing swift and aimlessly.

The flawless azure cloudless sky.
Those dark moments when she weeps.
Her stars that shine so bright at night
To safely guide my weary feet.

Eagles soaring to their nests.
The distant valleys deep and green.
All of nature's busy creatures
Who roam this earth so free.

Those people who keep watch for me
To catch me if I lose my balance.
Who have staggered on their own tightropes
So are well acquainted with the challenge.

They keep vigil from a distance
And have done their best to understand
That I need to make this trek alone
To become everything I am.

The days and nights are passing now.
My body's weak, but my will is strong.
I stop and rest more frequently,
But I recover and move on.

I've been meandering this tightrope now
For more than half my life,
Surviving good and bad days too,
But never giving up the fight.

And those who really love me
Who have never lost their faith,
Have helped convince me through it all
This was a journey I could make.

So to all of you who are like me,
Walking that fine and tottering line,
Just put one foot before the other,
And you'll master it in time.