Madison

I'm not afraid to fall,
But I still want it all,
How can it be,
You're not here with me.

I'm still petrified,
Of something deep inside,
It doesn't make sense to me,
That you would just let me be.

I hate myself for what I've done,
And for who I have become,
But you don't understand,
How I feel when you hold her hand.

There are so many things I miss,
Like the times that we would kiss,
I promised I'd love you like today,
Even though you won't take my pain away.

You would think my life is easy, simple, loving, but I only hide what is really behind.
Behind my smile, behind my laugh, behind my simple jokes.
I hide because I know I couldn't ever take the pain thrown at me and turns me blind.
And if I could take it I wouldn't have to hide.

Hiding my feelings, hiding my pain, hiding everything you mean to me.
If I wanted you to know what it was like I would have dragged you down too.
But please listen to me and my ever so simple plea.
And I wouldn't have to explain to you ever again.

If I explained everything then you would know.
Then there would be no point in there being me.
It hurts me inside if I had made you my clone.
and to know you knew my secrets and wishes.

Never more will you feel my pain.
Never more will you know inside.
Never more will you know my sane.
Never more will I be needed.

Knowing I am awake for you today know I won't be tomorrow.
And laying on my bed holding your hand till my last gasp.
I know me gone will bring you sorrow.
But you must move on to see me again.

Will you listen, will you just hear,
I am trying to find out why,
I only want to see you clear,
But I can't do that when i cry.

I am sorry can't you just forgive me,
Can't you accept I'm not the perfect one,
Will you hear my plea,
Don't you see i can't be the person who won.

Sarah, look I am so sorry you are my Best Friend,
and your the one to know then meaning of us too,
I know though friendship between us have to end,
I just hope that you know I miss you.

All I ask for is that you will just listen,
that you will just hear,
my eyes filled with tears are starting to glisten,
and thoughts in my head are no longer clear.