Hurting Poem by Teens

I wrote this poem because I'm sad and depressed. I'm 13 and I live in Arkansas. I'm really depressed because I have horrible headaches every day and the doctors can't find what's wrong. My family fights every day all day long. And my mom sister and uncle are all disabled, and it causes me a lot of stress. I moved away to live with my dad in Pittsburgh, but my mom forced me to come back. Without my poetry I honestly don't think I would still be living.

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Hi, I am 13 too, but I will be 14 soon. I have told my family about my depression 6 months ago. I cut myself sometimes but only on my thigh so no one sees. I know how it feels to be alone,...

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This Feeling Of Depression

© more by Taylor H.

Published by Family Friend Poems December 2011 with permission of the Author.

I have a pain so deep you'll never see
I locked it away and hid the key.
If I ever really could share it
You wouldn't look at me the same, I swear it.
I've seen things I shouldn't have to see
But the only one who ever knew was me.
I faked a smile every day
For I couldn't stand for you to see me this way
I buried my emotions deep inside my soul
It's this hate I have that keeps me whole
If I ever truly showed you what's inside
I'd run away fast and quickly hide
No matter where I go these feelings stay inside
All I want to do is close my eyes
It's like an eternal torture that never dies
These voices fill my head
Telling me I'm way better off dead
This pain of living hurts my heart
Should I have ended it from the start?
It's like when I get home I take off a mask
Faking happiness is nearly an impossible task
But somehow I manage to get by
Going through every day about to cry
One day maybe it'll be okay
But of course that day is not today.
How much blood can I shed
Before I'm lying on the floor dead?
Will this pain ever go away?
Maybe tomorrow but not today.

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!
  • Payton Hammarberg by Payton Hammarberg
  • 6 years ago

Hi, I am 13 too, but I will be 14 soon. I have told my family about my depression 6 months ago. I cut myself sometimes but only on my thigh so no one sees. I know how it feels to be alone, but I have 2 friends who suffer the same mental issues as me. I hope whoever reads this and has depression or goes through a bad time knows that it might stay long but not forever and that there is always someone who wants to help you.

  • Kieran Slater by Kieran Slater
  • 5 years ago

Hello, I am a 12-year-old boy who suffers from the same thing. As much as I am all right with things like name calling, I am not all right about physical contact to a innocent person, but life can't always go your way, and unfortunately that happens to me daily with friends that normally would be nice to me but at the end of the day aren't. When I found this poem, it gave me the courage to stand up for myself and stop it all

  • Gina Rivera-Garza by Gina Rivera-Garza
  • 6 years ago

Hi Taylor,
My name is Gina. I am 18 years old. I know you posted this several years ago and may not look at this anymore, but I thought I'd give this a shot. When I was 13 I had horrible headaches also, and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. I had constant headaches, stomach pains, and lost the ability to walk and talk. I had to learn everything from scratch. After years of searching, my family finally found a doctor to help in a way. To this day I have PTSD and residuals from the trauma. After reading your poem, I truly understand it and your pain. I write poetry as well, and it is an outlet for me to get my feelings out. I hope you read this so you could meet someone who understands what you went through in a way. I always wanted to meet someone who went through something on a similar level as me.
I hope you are well.
-Gina

  • Angelika by Angelika
  • 7 years ago

Hi, I think I'm depressed. I'm 17, typical ordinary teen. Sometimes I just sit and look aimlessly at things, distraught and lost in my own thoughts. Then there's this deep feeling in my chest I cannot control and I start my silent cries. I feel neglected, and no one really listens to me when I have a problem, so they don't even realize at all that I'm dealing with something. This feeling honestly sucks. I would get sudden burst of sadness and quietness on some days then feel okay on others.

  • Sanne by Sanne
  • 7 years ago

Hi, I feel exactly the same. I cut myself to feel happier, which I know is bad. After more than a year, I dared to tell my mom. She was mad at me. I hate myself for telling her. She didn't notice I felt sad and down for months because of the happy and smiley mask I wore. I told my counselor, too. She said she would get help for me. What I want to say is: don't give up. Keep fighting, and asking for help is okay.

  • Kealan Nauman by Kealan Nauman, Oklahoma/United States
  • 9 years ago

I am 14 and I have been depressed for a long time now. I cant even remember the last time I was truly happy. My terrible memory has to do with it. All my life I've never been noticed and I haven't really been looked at. What I mean is I have to wear a mask everyday and its extremely hard to do that.

  • Najma by Najma, Australia
  • 9 years ago

Hey Taylor,
I know how you feel but trust me there is someone out there who loves you for who you are. Don't let your self be bothered by the fact that some of your family members are disabled. Maybe you don't know that your uncle may need someone to talk to as much as you need someone. Also, please try to talk to someone, such as your father at least, and let them know how you feel. By the way I'm 16 and your poem is heart touching!! You are an amazing person and strong, trust me.

  • Genevieve Cruz by Genevieve Cruz, South Gate Ca
  • 10 years ago

Hi there my name is Genevieve but everyone calls me Gen. When I was reading your poem I felt as if you were talking about me. I have been dealing with depression since I was a little girl. I was bullied all the time and I always seem to lose friends and I honestly do not know why. It has gotten to the point where my parents wonder if there is something wrong with me. They are always fighting about me and I feel like sometimes if I go away everyone would be happier. I hope you find happiness one day.

  • Hope by Hope, S
  • 10 years ago

It's such a heart - rending poem.. touched me so much. I know how you feel - it's really sad not having a person in life who you could call your own!
Really wish you get out of your unfortunate circumstances soon. My sympathies are always with you.

  • Arjun R by Arjun R, India
  • 10 years ago

Hey Taylor, I can completely understand what you are going through. Unfortunately I am having worse conditions. It might get well. "Maybe tomorrow but not today."

  • Tariro Nyamudeza by Tariro Nyamudeza, Zimbabwe
  • 10 years ago

l thought l was the only one who felt the way you do, I'm really sorry hope everything gets better. l am 17 years old and it all seems so hard, but lets hope for the better... :)

  • Emily by Emily, Saskatchewan
  • 10 years ago

Your poem really touched me and I'm pretty depressed too. I don't have one true friend to my name. No one to talk too. But I hope your life gets better and I hope you do too. -Emily :)

  • Sarah by Sarah
  • 10 years ago

I feel that way to, but I say to myself - it will be okay..
It helps sometimes.. the time will heal the wounds but it will stay a scar, reminding you what you've been through..

How I actually feel :P
like a empty place only with fogs
I feel lost..

  • Julissa Ibarra by Julissa Ibarra
  • 10 years ago

Well not sure how to introduce myself, but let's skip that. I know what you going through, or at least I think so. I have lots of pain within me, and I hide it. I'm really good at I actually. Only time I have by myself us at night, and my sobs are the most silent. Everyone goes through harsh times, and it's really hard to live with the sorrow. But something that help is knowing about Gods plan for the future. (Revelation 21:3,4) relives tension.

  • Someone by Someone, Singapore
  • 11 years ago

I'm 12 and I move to a new place every year. No one seems to understand me. I gave up trying to make friends years ago since I never get to see them after I leave. I'm treated like a problem most of the time no one actually takes what I say seriously. It hurts to try and keep in touch to know that they'd never look at me the same way if they truly understood me. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Great poem to describes how it feels.

  • Genesis by Genesis, Laurinburg
  • 11 years ago

I'm out my of my depressed state now. But when I was in it, it was horrible. My uncle had just died and I had two F's on my progress report. I do understand how you feel, Taylor. And I have a couple suggestions. If I were you I would continue to write poetry, but also get into some sports, and other school activities. This should keep you distracted, and also listen to happy music. I'm not saying this will always save you because even I have moments when I just cry because of a bad day or just because I can't hold it in anymore. But it'll get better, just hang on. Kinda weird I have some answers and I'm only twelve. Don't take my advice lightly, please use it.

  • Farnaz by Farnaz, India
  • 11 years ago

Hey Taylor!! Your poem touched my heart!! and I feel the same all the time!! I'm 14, and my life is worst then hell, and well my friends, they've never known the real me, and guess they never will.
I feel like a piece of shit all the time!!
but well I'm living with hope... that there'll be a day when everything will change!! and that my time will come!!

I hope you get well soon!! and just wanna tell you, don't loose hope, your time will come!! and everything will be good!!

  • Kirstie-Ara by Kirstie-Ara
  • 12 years ago

I love this poem. poetry helps me too. I guess it gives me a purpose, but just have faith that things can get better. I used to always be extremely depressed all the time, I felt worthless, and bitter. you just have to smile and know that you mean a lot more than you think, try to stay positive and continue to express yourself.... You're talented.

  • Gigi by Gigi, Dearborn
  • 12 years ago

Taylor, love your poem it reminds me of myself. I am always depressed, I am married with 3 kids I work my husband does everything to make me happy...but I am always in the sad mood, and liz I also think that no one cares for me even if they say it. If you know yourself don't worry about what people think of you. I hope your mom is ok and try to talk to your family tell them what is on your mind. thank you

  • Liz Hope by Liz Hope
  • 13 years ago

I very much understand how you feel Taylor I am going through almost similar :(
I don't have a best friend any more. My mom has cancer and I see her suffer every day. My dad comes home from work and doesn't notice me looking depressed or sad and none of my brothers or sisters notice either.

No one at school likes to be around me even though I am in style and I have boy friends but they just make me feel unspecial and depressed.

thanks
-Liz

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