When I was fifteen I starved myself,
hoping I could then accept myself,
but with all the weight I dropped,
the burning self-hate never stopped.
Restricting, crying, jumping-jacks,
searching for starvation hacks.
The number would drop day by day,
but in the mirror the fat would stay.
I got scared of my reflection
on my lookout for perfection.
Everyone was scared for me.
Couldn't understand what I would see
when I saw my body grow
in spite of what the scale would show.
I would purge a slice of apple,
trying to fight my silent battle.
All I felt was sharp despair.
When I ran, I gasped for air.
Everyone was telling lies,
seeing me through real eyes.
A vicious cycle owned my mind,
telling lies that made me blind.
Poem: The Mindset Of A Person With An Eating Disorder
Restriction
Published by Family Friend Poems September 2018 with permission of the Author.
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