I get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my dad says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
it will someday.
I was diagnosed schizo-effective at 35 but I was having problems way before then. I began hearing voices when I was 29. I lost who I was and became something else. I was always wild and...
Am I Alone
Published by Family Friend Poems August 2008 with permission of the Author.
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I was diagnosed schizo-effective at 35 but I was having problems way before then. I began hearing voices when I was 29. I lost who I was and became something else. I was always wild and kinda care free. I hurt many people along the way. I guess the voices were there to guide me and punish me. It has been hard to accept that I have an illness. I sometimes still believe in my delusions, they feel real. It is a struggle day to day. I am alone in a lot of ways. I don't want pity and I don't want to be treated different, I just want someone to understand.