A Grieving Daughter

• by Macy Bretz
• 7 years ago

I have been in foster care for 3 years now. I entered the system due to major abuse when I was 14 (I'm 17 now). Since then I have been to 5 foster homes and I soon will be entering my 6th due to verbal abuse. I am just money to these people, I have a job, I do everyone's laundry, I make sure not to bug anyone, and still I seem to be doing everything wrong. I have to pay for my own food, clothes, school supplies, toiletries, etc... And that's all from my pay check. The parents are supposed to help at least a little with that stuff, but I'm the money so they don't.

• by Anandita K. Sethi
• 7 years ago

Today I finally woke up without him as my first thought;
Today my eyes finally stopped flowing tears full of agony;
Today my grin finally turned into a smile;
Today my lips were finally as moist as they were before;
Today the mark on my neck finally disappeared;
Today my hair finally wasn't as messy as before;
Today my shattered heart has finally healed;
Today my body has finally abandoned his addiction;
Today I can finally let go of the past that haunts me all night;
Today my realization of a wrong choice was finally accepted;
Today I finally got up with the good sun vibes;
Today I finally perceived that some people aren't worthy enough to feel what love is...

• by Miko
• 7 years ago

The only time my mom and I speak is when I reach out to her. Months go by and she rings only to point out my faults and talk about others. Or when she needs something from me. There's not one picture of me anywhere in sight, and the last time I visited, my picture was cut out of the family photo.

• by Lou Ellis
• 8 years ago

I always wondered why I couldn't have a better mom. I wondered why she didn't love me the way other moms loved their children. I haven't spoke to my mom in 4 years. I realized that I can't change other people but that I can eliminate negative people in my life to make sure that I am a better person. I chose to relinquish all contact with my mother after she continuously used me, abused me, and belittled me. I thank her for showing me the mother not to be to my future children. We can not choose our parents, we can not choose how others treat us or control how they behave. We are only in control of ourselves. If there is negativity in your life, you have the option to eliminate it. Sometimes I miss my mom, but then I stop and realize that I miss the mom I have always wanted not the mom I actually have.

• by Sylvia Phelps
• 8 years ago

There was so much in this poem I could identify with: rejection, blaming, never good enough, oblivious to my inner pain, wishing to die. A favorite tactic was name-calling like JackAss. Repeatedly I was told that I was helpless and hopeless and would never amount to anything. And sadly, this came from both parents. The main difference was that the messages were mixed and totally confusing. I was told that God loves me. But the unspoken message was "I hate you and wish you had never been born." Consequently, I hated God. In process of time--bless God!--He came to my rescue. In the Bible I read, "I wish you could know and clearly understand how long, how wide, how deep and how high God's love for you really is--so deep you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it." I began to realize that God's love is the ONLY love I can fully depend on. He alone will never, ever, ever abandon or reject me.

• by Iyesha Pelton
• 8 years ago

This is beautiful, and absolutely touching. I haven't felt a poem like this in a long while. Thank you.

• by Barb G., Grand Rapids
• 9 years ago

Why is the biggest word in the world to me. I often wondered why she refused to see.
See me for the little girl I was and for the woman I am today. Why did she treat me so bad, why did I grow up so sad. Why was I in last place and why did she smack my face? I was just a little girl, all I wanted was for you to love me and for some reason you hated me. You called me bitch more than you called me Barb. I hear you blame my Dad, yet you take no responsibility for the abuse you put me through. I grew up in the streets when I should have been at home. Why would you put your daughter out to be raped, robbed and trafficked? Can't you see what this has done to me? Just tell me Why????

• by Marie Johnson
• 10 years ago

I know how it feels I know what it feels like to be abused. I'm still getting abused with no one to talk to I'm glad that most of you had a happy ending. I just hope I get one soon since I got scars to show what I've been through.

• by Jasmyne, Texas
• 10 years ago

I was getting abused since I was as little as I can remember by my mother. She said the reason she had me is that she was forced with my Dad (Not true). She said she never wanted me and kicked me out when I was 7 with my little sister (Just born). I raised my sister for 7 years now. With my father, he got back from Afghanistan and I didn't even know him. I haven't talked to my mother for 1 years and I'm The mother to my sister. I'm blessed to have a family to watch over. But I'm glad my mom treated the was she did or I wouldn't be so close to my little sister the way I do now..<3

• by Michele. Greenville Nc
• 10 years ago

A month or so before mother died she screamed one inch from my face 'I don't care what happens to you when I'm alive'. That caused a feeling of fear and severe chest pain. I laid on the floor a few hours. The tight chest feeling was much less. The pain and break in my heart has never gone away. I carry this with me each breath I breath. Rejection and hate. Since her death I do not want anything to do with her memory. The relationship was poor. I can not deny the past but I need to say I did love mother. That was my thought. Now I am thinking of the present. What was is a memory seldom uncovered.

• by Andrea, Ontario
• 11 years ago

My heart goes out to anyone who was abandoned by one or both parents. I was abandoned by both parents when I was two, along with my brother who was 3. We were left to the Children's Aid Society to find a good home for us. After 14 different foster homes, we were placed with foster parents who abused us emotionally, verbally, physically and sexually. Now I am 53 and my brother is 54 years old. I have a family that includes a loving husband, son and daughter and my brother has us. I believe I love because my heavenly Father loves me.

• by Hazz
• 11 years ago

My eldest sister lived with our grand parents I lived in foster and children homes. My younger sister lived with my mam. My mam loved my two sisters because they had the same dad. I was different. When I was 7, on Christmas Eve they told me that my mother went to have an abortion, because my parents weren't married, but she went a week to late and couldn't. I don't care. I went back and forth from mams to dads until they got fed up with me and my atrocious temper. I don't regret my past, where I lived and what has happened because I love my life. I have met amazing people. My mother was angry when I was engaged because she never has been married and my life was going to be good. Thankfully, my dad didn't even show up. I have an amazing big sister who has been my mam and dad and now I have a son who I love dearly. I'm married to the most amazing man I will NEVER tell my son he's unwanted and every night he goes to sleep when I tell him that I love him.

• by Kerry, St Helens
• 11 years ago

To this day I have never felt wanted and am 30 yrs old. Ever since I was little I was never told by my parents that they love me. My mother has 3 grown children but only bothers with my sister. Me and my brother was dumped in and out of care but yet she kept my sister I make a point of telling my beautiful daughter that I love her every day. My mother is jealous of the bond that I have with my daughter. So much so she has tried wrecking my bond with her by telling my ten year old lies about me. I have always been told that I was an accident but my daughter asked me the other day was she planned I told her no but I was excited when I found out I was having her. And that she was a happy surprise. And she knows no matter what I am always there for her. And will always love her because like I said to my princess if you turn your back on your child then it makes you a crap parent hugs to you all

• by Lancs
• 12 years ago

My dad told me until the day he died that I was the biggest mistake of his life, my mum gave my brother and sister love and affection but not me.
My brother sexually abused me for years, why did no one see what he was doing ? May be they didn't care .
I'm 51 now with my own children who I love so much but I've still got a big hole in my heart, I spend money on clothes to try and feel better but of course it doesn't work.
I've has lots of counseling but I'm still a lost soul looking for my parents love and acceptance. They are both dead now.

• by Lorraine, Wales
• 12 years ago

My mother from being tiny always said that she wished she had never had me and wouldn't be here with my father if it wasn't for me. We would be locked outside to play and couldn't get in unless we knocked on the door as she wanted the house spick and span if anyone came. My mother always looked immaculate, always had new clothes neatly ironed and pressed and drawers full of new clothes neatly arranged with tissue to stop them creasing. I had to scrub my blouse collars as I got older because they would get grubby and I didn't have another clean one to wear. My socks were held up with elastic bands to stop them falling down and my clothes would be second hand. My father, we barely saw him and when we did there were big arguments and sulks and we weren't allowed to talk to my father. My youngest brother by 13 years is the prodigal son and has had everything he can from my mother. She has just bought a house for him and her. She has completely turned her back on the other 3 children.

• by Christina, Australia.
• 13 years ago

I'm currently 15, and when I was born I was neglected by my mother because I was a female and not a male. For the first 2 years of my life I lived with my Grandma (from my father's side) and since I have come home me and my dad have been emotionally abused. As well for me I've been abused. I've been to counseling, which did nothing and now I'm seeing a child psychologist because my teachers are worried about how this is affecting my grades. The psychologist said nothing could be done as my neglection is classified as a "cultural" situation as I am Asian.
This poem really touches my heart, in fact I have chosen to analyze this poem for my English speech assignment (:

• by Canada
• 13 years ago

My mother always blamed me for getting pregnant with me and forcing her to get married to my father. She hated me even more once I became a teenager because I was doing all the things that she was not able to do anymore.
She said that I was her biggest mistake in life and that she wished that I would never been born. I went through years and years of abuse with her and my father.
I'm 25 years old now and I'm married to the most amazing guy and we have a wonderful son together.
I have not talked to my parents for over a year and I could not be happier!
God has given me the strength that I always needed. I'm somewhat happy that I'm not alone and that other girls understand how I feel.

• by Alex Harris
• 13 years ago

I grew up with a mom who was addicted to pot and drinking and later on in my life she became a heavy crack addict and before she started crack she was my best friend. My world. My everything. But as soon as crack came into view I was nothing to her. She wished I wasn't around.. She hated me and I didn't even know why.. This poem describes exactly how I felt growing up.