Wesley

I waited, and you didn't come.
I called, and you didn't answer.
I knocked, but you weren't home.
And I realized that I was alone.

I cried, but no one comforted me.
I screamed, but no one heard me.
I gave up and laid there.
Alone. Why was I always alone?

I hurt, but there was no help.
I begged, but I was ignored.
I laughed maniacally at my foolishness.
I knew I was alone.

I was always alone.
No one was there.
No matter how many times
I called knocked, cried, screamed...
I was alone...forever alone.

I was fake.
I was imaginary.
I was a pawn,
But most of all
I. Was. Alone.

Forever means nothing in my eyes.
It's just a word you use to cover up lies,
To hide your tracks each night you leave
So I don't worry and start to believe.
The words I love you are just a joke.
Each time you say them I try not to choke
On the tears that threaten to stain the ground,
And I just nod, don't make a sound.
Each night you tell me you truly care,
But when I need you, you're never there.
You think what you want about how I feel
And claim these tears are never real.
You say you know everything about me,
But you only know what I let you see.
You bring me down when you think I can't hear,
Just anything I put up with every year.
You make me feel worthless in front of you,
Like you hate me and everything I do.
You never notice the tears that spill down
Or the fake smile and permanent frown.
You're too caught up in believing a lie
That you never see how hard I try.
I wanted perfection and failed you all.
I let myself down and started to fall.
Forever, to me, is an empty promise you made,
And still I wait as the memories fade.
To me, forever is a waste of time
That makes you feel lucky as you climb
To the extent of your happiness, but it won't be true,
Because to me, forever is something you can't do.

What do you do when your world falls apart,
When your secrets rip and tear at your heart?
What happens when the truth becomes a lie,
When your own happiness you defy?
What do you do when the tears don't fall,
When silence is the only answer to your call?
How do you cope with a pain that goes so deep,
When all you want is to lie down and sleep?
When you don't want to wake up to another day,
When you're afraid of what everyone will say?
How do you hide yourself so no one can reach you,
When the lies are no longer true?
What do you do when you can't bear sadness anymore,
When the lies fall useless to the floor?
What do you do when the hurt is greater every time that you wake,
When it's your own life that you want to take?
What happens when you can't bear the whispers you hear,
When it's all collaborating with your deepest fear?
What do you do when you don't want the sun to rise,
When it's just another day to bring tears to your eyes?
What do you do when you don't have answers to questions you ask,
When your true feelings are hidden behind a mask?
When the tears fall freely and you don't try to hide,
Only then do you realize the happiness you defied.