Poems by Doug William Benson

I stand here staring
at the open lot of an acre full of guilt,
overwhelmed by the selfish weeds and brush,
and mounds of stubborn graveled rock
that have gradually overtaken my life,
and that need to be removed.
Now is the time and this is the place
to build the new me.

The excavating process will be painful;
Ripping out old brush and their habitual roots
tangled deep within the soil of my soul.
And what appears to be immovable boulders,
with their tops exposed like an iceberg,
showing their false facade of selfish pride
while hiding oh so much shame below;
They all have to go!
If I truly want this to be the place of my dreams,
then they absolutely must go!

I'll then be able to start anew
with solid footings and a foundation
that's built on morals and truth;
For, those two principles need to be
the unshakeable elements
upon which everything else is built.

As for the skeleton,
the framing of walls and corridors,
they will be made with only the best quality of materials;
That is individuals who raise me up,
Those who will stand by me,
providing me with essential support and protection.
Critics, superficial friends and those who are quick to flee
are like wood that's already infested with termites,
waiting to collapse and give way at any moment.
For this new house, I will choose to surround myself within the sturdy walls of
devotion, assurance and love.

Next, the inner workings;
The plumbing,
The gas,
The power,
They will course through this new structure with a newfound spirit of self-discipline.
That deep and internal quality alone
will be responsible for quickly recognizing and flushing out waste in all its forms,
and producing a positive atmosphere
full of energy, warmth and light.

Finally, the siding and roof
must be built with the shingles of self-acceptance and unwavering confidence.
This will allow the storms of life to fall upon me,
as there's no escape nor retreat,
but that I'll not only be able to withstand,
but quickly and efficiently shake off and continue forward
as though I had never been beaten upon.
For, I will hold strong!

This new home is possible!
I am the architect of my life.
The blueprint is laid out before me.
I have all the tools and it's time to get to work!

From window sills
To pictured thrills
A life that's now forgotten

A lover's song
Of fate gone wrong
And time brought all that's rotten

Unrealized dreams
And endless streams
Relentless tears keep falling

Of cursed tomorrows
Engulfed with sorrows
This heavenward voice keeps calling

Oh, peace and rest
Abide in my chest
Endure my new endeavor

Faith, keep held high
Hope, dry my eyes
Love, fill my heart forever!

You
You inspire
Inspire me everyday
Everyday, now and always
Always loving in selfless ways
Ways that continue to affect
Affect my soul profoundly
Profoundly I'm yours
Yours forever
Forever

I'll never forget when I first met Desire,
The feelings I had; my heart raging with fire.
She helped me believe all things were in reach,
As long as I had her to guide and to teach.

I fell for her passion like never before,
But the lack of her action left me longing for more.
So the flame soon extinguished as fast as it lit,
And I moved on just knowing that I couldn't commit.

So I kept searching.

Miss Good Intentions then entered the scene,
I was fully consumed by her hopes and her dreams.
The words she would tell me; future lives we'd envision,
Our plans and our goals were laid out with precision.

But we argued too often, Good Intentions and me,
The "I should's" and "I want to's" ruling the themes.
Ideas that would, sadly, never come to fruition,
So, she stayed firm believing and I left with ambition.

And I kept searching.

Days bled into weeks and then weeks just flew by
And after some months I was set up with Try.
I fell head over heels for Try's declaration:
"Attempts and failures are life's education!"

But excuses got stronger as failures increased;
Self-discipline dwindled and willpower ceased.
So, my stubborn soul said not to settle with Try
Knowing someone out there was unsettled as I.

And then I finally found her.

With the zeal of Desire; the hope of Good Intentions,
Living Try's motto without apprehensions,
And faith in me for the life I'd inhabit,
It all came together once I finally met Habit.

For Habit doesn't have wandering eyes,
She holds me accountable; catches my lies.
She sees my potential that I don't see,
Of growth sustainable, healthy and free.

So, I surrender my heart at the dawn of each day
And let Habit preside, often leading the way.
Fully committed; forever we'll be.
I'll never leave Habit as Habit's in me.