Amanda Gray

Why do you beat yourself up
because you had the courage to love,
gave all of yourself in hopes that he was the one?

Why do you beat yourself up
when it was his choice to be unfaithful,
his choice to hurt you?

Why do you beat yourself up,
knowing that you had done everything for him,
supported him, comforted him,
loved him more than you loved yourself?

Why, after his lies and deceit,
do you still love him and want him to love you?
Why, after the repeat of hurt and trust being lost,
do you think that he deserves a love as pure as yours?

Why do you beat yourself up
over what you could have done better
when you know deep down there was nothing?

What makes you search for answers as to why
when they will not change the past
nor mend your broken heart?

Why, when a man decides to cheat, do we blame ourselves?
Why does it make us question every little detail about who we are,
make us think that we are not worthy of love?

Why, when a man cheats, do we still long for him to change,
realize how wrong he was, and fall in love with us again?

Why do you beat yourself up,
when you deserve more,
when all that you have done is loved someone completely?

Give yourself time, and the pain will subside,
and the mourning will cease.
You will see that you are still you,
still wonderful, beautiful you

Nothing has changed except your experience in love
and your determination to share love with another.

As you can never truly love someone
until you learn to love yourself.