Someone New

• by Ashlee
• 10 years ago

Last October my step grandfather sexually abused me. A few days later I couldn't help but to tell. I had to save the kids around me. When I came out and told, My whole family on my dad's side turned on me. They called me a liar, when I was telling the truth. I had grand jury about a month ago. I just found out recently that it is going to trial. When times get too hard I turn to cutting as the solution. I get so lost in my emotions that I don't really think of the physical harm I am causing myself. It hurts so bad just thinking of the things that have been said to me and about me. The man accused's daughter said that I was a attention grubbing little bitch. Just for saving myself from any further damage, I get down graded. I thought they were family. I thought you could rely on family. I guess I learned the hard way. Cutting seemed to be the only escape from the reality I live in. I try not to let things go that far, but sometimes it's unbearable.

• by Tia
• 11 years ago

I'm 16 and am currently in a downward spiral. I cut myself. Not because my parents are getting a divorce but because I was sexually assaulted by a student at my school. The offender was never punished . In addition, I was also assaulted by my uncle. I've been attacked which lead to my hospitalization. I've been threatened, abused and used. I've lost just about everything I ever dared hold close to me. I'm sure many of you would agree with me that cutting is a relief . I realize it's stupid and I realize its an addiction. However a lot of you were able to get over your addiction because you had something change. I don't have that. My moms dying of a disease for which there is no cure for. I watch her slip farther and farther away from me everyday. I listen to her husband bitch at her an I've been bold enough (and admittedly stupid enough) to attempt to stick up for her. I've never felt rage quite like I do now. Cutting has become my way of punishing myself for not having the strength to protect my mom. I wish someone could help me. God, every day I carry this burden, this thought, knowing that once I reach home I'll have to bathe my mother clothes and her and then listen to her dick head husband bitch to her. If any of you could point me in the direction I should going... It would mean the difference between life and death....

• by Krazy Kay
• 11 years ago

I started cutting when I was in 6th grade I was 12. I started cutting after someone close to me died. I barely cut but as the years dragged on and the bullying got worse and worse I started to cut more and more. Then I almost lost my dad on Christmas Eve so than I started cutting deeper and more. I stopped cutting for maybe a year but than I started to get bullied more and more so I started to cut again. Over the last 4 years I have tried to commit suicide so many times I have lost count now. I'm trying to stop cutting but when you feel this much pain you need a escape and cutting is my only escape. I have been in counseling for a few years now but nothing seems to help make this pain go away. My biggest fear is my parents finding out I cut my wrists. I do drugs sometimes to numb the pain I feel but it doesn't always work. I wish I would have never started cutting in the first place.

• by Elaine, Ohio
• 12 years ago

I started cutting when I was 10 I am now 15 and can't look at my arms without think to myself what have I done. My parents found out about my cutting in 7th grade due to my friend finally cracking she couldn't stand to know of me hurting myself so she told the guidance counselor who told my parents. They put me in therapy but that only made it worse. To this day I can't get myself to stop I want to stop but I can't will myself to stop. I want to stop but I just don't know how. I hate knowing that by hurting myself I hurt those I love I want to stop but it has become an addiction..

• by Portland
• 12 years ago

I just now started cutting myself I didn't know someone you love can bring so much pain I've been going through this for three months and no one is helping me through it I wish life wasn't so unfair I know what you're going through no one deserves to feel this way. Only the one who caused it should be the one who feels guilty and all I can think of is that we all want to be free from pain and this cruel world. I wish you all luck and I most certainly liked your poem.

• by Saranda, Jerseyville
• 12 years ago

When I was around 13 or 14 I lost my baby nephew. I was so hard for me. He was only 2 years old and was the best thing that ever happen to me. Than one day he was outside and fell in a pond and drowned. I started to cut myself and I lost my faith and didn't believe in God any more. I hated him for taking him from me. I also didn't listen to my mom or dad. I started skipping school and getting in fights and hanging around with the wrong people and got on drugs really bad. I didn't care what happened to me I felt like since he was gone, I didn't belong on earth. But one day I overdosed on some really hardcore drugs and almost didn't make it. While I was in the hospital I saw a sign and now I am in school, A great person and I go to church and I haven't touched anything in over two years now.

• by Keilah, Tx
• 13 years ago

I Love this poem! I have been cutting for awhile. Last year there was a rumor going around that I had done "it" with some guy. It hurt me a lot because it ALMOST did happen. To make it worse, it was the very first day of the start of a new year. I cried all that night. I thought he really cared about me but he just wanted one thing. I have a class with him and all he does is remind me of that awful day. I feel like my family can't stand me. I just wish that someone can help me find myself again.

• by Rebecc, SC
• 13 years ago

I'm 17. this poem. to feel the pain, hurting. I love it. I started cutting myself 8th grade year of middle school I was 14. I'm still cutting myself and I want to stop but, I can't. I have love one's but yet they still don't seem to care for me enough. At times I wish I could die but, being heart-broken so much I wonder if I'm hurting them or if I'm hurting my friends. I still haven't stopped cutting myself.. I'm still doing it I pray that one day I will find the sun-light and stop cutting myself. till the end..

• by Victoria, SC
• 13 years ago

wow this was simply amazing sounds just like me I started cutting when I was 9 bc at age 8 my mom brother and me were all in a horrible car accident and I was the only survivor:( I was so depressed so I cut well last year I met this guy and we dated for almost a year and I gave him my innocence and then he dumped me I haven't gotten over it since so I started cutting again and its almost out of control but I'll get through this :/ but excellent poem :)

• by Meika
• 13 years ago

I read this and this and connected. It helps me to know that brothers feel or felt the way I do. Nobody understands me, why I cut an why I get so depressed. So I just gave up on it all. I now dress in clothes with color, I slap on fake smiles. I read poems, songs, notes, anything so I can feel better and known if I ever go back I'm not alone. It was an amazing poem great work :D

• by Ruby Shoun
• 13 years ago

I wrote a poem like this once. Posted it on Facebook and saved it into my computer too. My parents saw it one the computer and printed it out. They came up to me one day and asked what it was about. I told them and my mother busted into tears. Now I keep all my poems in a notebook hidden under my bed. No one except my closest friends read them and they say it makes them wanna cry.

• by Micee
• 13 years ago

I started to cut myself when I was 10. It was pretty intense. Later as I grew, it got worst on my legs and arms. But I knew not to cut to deep to die. But to pass out. Cutting was a substitute for everything to me, When I was mad, sad, depressed, and lonely. I lost every connection I had with my friends and only had 2 people I could trust. But they couldn't stand it. so they left. My family could care less.

• by Andi
• 14 years ago

I didn't cut myself I burned myself. I started burning myself this year cuz my Parents are getting a divorce. Now I have to do all the things my dad did around the house cuz I know that my older sister won't. I feel like I'm older then her but I'm not. My friend Canyon told me that he was mad at me for hurting myself. He is a really good friend to me so I tried to stop. I stopped for about 2 weeks but things just got so bad I burned myself again. I started burning myself on August 15, 2010. I've stopped cuz my parents found out and took everything away for me to use.

• by Cariinaaa
• 14 years ago

I have been through this but once you look at what you have done you will find that there is something there waiting for you. You would have a great life up ahead of you, you're gonna once you realize what have you done to yourself, when you could be a beautiful person. No matter what, you're always beautiful deep down inside of you don't waste your time...

• by Ariel, Menlo
• 14 years ago

I started cutting when my parents got divorced. I met this boy who I fell madly in love with but he didn't feel the same just wanted to get off. I felt so horrible that the cuts just kept getting worse. I would black out and hours later wake up to find blood all over me. Then I met someone and I stopped for a while. We recently broke up and I started cutting again. Everytime something happens that is my fall back. I know what you are going through. Stay strong maybe one day we can get the help we need.

• by Lisa
• 14 years ago

I cut for as long as I can remember, I did it when I was hurting, when I was too mad to think. I did it like everyday just to do it sometimes, and when I see my scars I say to myself that I've ruined my arms an I think it's stupid, but I still get that feeling that I need to do it but instead I try to keep my mind off it so I wont. I loved your poem (:

• by Nicole, IN
• 14 years ago

I started doing drugs and drinking at 12. My Dad is an alcoholic and my Mom is a drug dealer so this behavior was all I knew. When I was 15 I was a devoted cocaine user and dealer. I put myself in a rough situation during a deal and was beaten and raped by the "coke man". I had enough and I spent the next 2 weeks at my aunts coming down and coming down hard. But after the drugs wore off, the pain I felt was a lot to bear so I began cutting as a substitute. Since I was used to the addict lifestyle this became dangerous very quick. The school found out, I spent a while in a mental health facility and am still going through regular therapy sessions. I am now 18 and in college for nursing, my Mom is in jail my Dad has a new girlfriend and I'm living with my boyfriend's family. Without their support and love I would never have gotten better. This poem was so touching to me. I hope it and my story can help all of you see that hope really isn't as far out of reach as it may seem.

• by Tiffany
• 15 years ago

I started cutting at 13 years of age and quit at age 15. My friends were scared of me or scared for me I should say. But the point is I was hurting the people I love. Now as I look back on it I realize I was stupid for doing it. People make comments every time I pas them in the hallway at school, like there's the emo girl and other snide rude comments, people will grab my arm and look at the scars when I wore short sleeves

• by Sue Taylor
• 15 years ago

To Jamie

Now the pain is over
life has just begun
put that all behind you
find new friends and run
you can find new fortune
find new ways to live
you have learnt new lessons
now its time to give
now you've solved your problem
it is now your turn
try to help another
help them also learn
this will make you better
see more point to life
when you help another
throw away that knife
share your love and passion
push away your pain
you're a special person
so much love to gain