Tell me what I did to make you treat me so cheaply,
What did I do to make you so angry and make you beat me,
You could see I was broken up inside and you just threw me around,
You left me lying dazed on the ground,
I did not dare to meet your eyes but prayed you would see what you had done,
You picked me up and told me we'd have some fun,
A lump lodged uneasily in my throat my eyes glistening with tears,
My tiny body exhausted yet knowing the worst was near,
I wanted to scream and fight you and run for the door,
You broke me you wore me down but still wanted more,
Same routine making me incapable of movement that part done hastily,
Bit by bit ripping my dignity,
You left me on the bed shaking and broken,
I'd prayed someone would come please let someone have woken,
I would lay and go to a place where when I gave a cry for help someone would come,
And where people don't hurt people who love them for fun,
I'd talk to my friends who'd come and rescue me from the pain,
Who'd put their arm around me and take me to places where I have smiles that I do not feign,
In my dreams they would hold me when I cried,
They would be there to take me to a place where the angels sang lullabies ,
They'd take me to a place little girls didn't feel fear,
Where I would never have to cry or even shed a tear,
I was sad because I could never stay,
They promised I'd be with them there one day,
My friends have always been apart of me and always will,
They gave me hope that I can climb this painful everlasting hill,
My friends were my imagination I know that now,
And how they helped me survive I don't know how,
You killed my spirit you damaged my soul,
My foundations my very childhood you trampled on and stole,
I wanted to mean something and but I know I'm not worth much,
I wanted a loving role model not your painful touch,
Everything that happened and seeing your face all the time
I can pretend I can get over and that I don't care,
But surviving all this is just the beginning of a long and endless nightmare...
I was also abused and raped from 10-14. I got out to another home and was raped again. I tried to tell, but no one believed me, so I just kept quiet. I'm now 52. It still haunts me. my niece...
Surviving You
Published by Family Friend Poems October 2009 with permission of the Author.
I was also abused and raped from 10-14. I got out to another home and was raped again. I tried to tell, but no one believed me, so I just kept quiet. I'm now 52. It still haunts me. my niece at 26 passed away from also being abused. Heroin is how she dealt with it. She just came clean before this happened. I should have spoken up and done something because it was her grandpa (my stepfather).