Old Age

Arthritis makes my fingers swell.
My bathroom visits really smell.
When I find it hard to sleep,
I remember math, to count my sheep.

My legs aren't working like they did,
Like when I was just a kid.
It takes time to climb the stairs,
To change my dirty underwears.

And in the cellar, it's not clear,
"Why did I just venture here?"
Retrace my steps and I will find,
I still don't know... so back I climb.

Friends now treat me differently.
They'll talk to me like I am three.
And kinfolk give a hug and say,
"Baby, do you feel okay?"

In diapers I am now attired.
I'll never know when they're required.
So, best I wear them all the time,
They'll save me from my inner grime!

And just in case that some don't know,
You wear them underneath your clothes.
I tried it once the other way!
The laughter, I still hear today!

Grocery shopping is a treat,
If I can just stay on my feet.
Just get it done! Get home fast,
And hope my tired legs will last!

I get back home and rest my legs,
But I forgot to buy some eggs!
"To hell with it! I'll do without!
I'm not about to go back out!"

Sometimes a pain I've never had,
The kind that's there, but not that bad.
It could be serious, I suspect,
So, to the doctor! Get it checked!

He'll poke and prod in all my holes.
He'll close examine warts and moles.
He'll press my gut when I'm undressed.
He'll listen to my heart and chest!

When that's done, he's bound to find,
Some "specialists" he has in mind.
He'll send me "here," he'll send me "there,"
He'll send me everywhere, I swear!

They'll take some blood and take some pee,
They'll analyze the lot and see,
"There's nothing wrong, now you can go."
I start to feel... they just don't know.

I get back home from my ordeal,
And now it's hunger that I feel.
What do I want? What is my treat?
It should be something soft to eat.

So, after checking my caboodle,
I pick a tin of chicken noodle.
Some soda crackers on the side,
My dinner now has been supplied.

(Hey! Don't forget to turn the stove off!)

Now full from all that soup fillet,
I check the mail that came today.
I'm scared when I see any bill!
So scared, I have to take a pill!

Gee! My old age check was sent!
"Wow! I'll make the mortgage rent!"
Now I have been thrown a bone,
So I can keep my cherished home.

I try to sleep while counting sheep,
But other thoughts begin to creep.
"Am I too old to be alone?
I want keep this home I own!"

Kinfolk have their resolution!
A nursing home is their solution!
"They'll care and feed you every day!
They'll have a room where you can stay!"

I know they love me, there's no doubt,
But my problems, they can do without.
A burden, I don't want to be,
Can't they see what "home" means to me?

I can't give up this house of mine!
I'm by myself, that suits me fine!
And when I'm left alone that day,
I'll think of what they had to say.

But I want to live my life my way!
I don't want another home to stay!
And if no other resolution,
I will find my own solution...