You're nothing but a dirty old man
But I knew it was some sort of elaborate plan
It's okay, but let me ask, did I fulfill your needs
Sure it doesn't matter that you made me bleed
Did it feel good to use me like I was just a piece of dirt?
Use those lines all you want, there's no need to flirt?
Tell me you love me while you take it all away
'Cause I still won't believe a single word you say
I remember telling you no and go away too
But apparently it wasn't up to me, it was up to you
Tell me I'm a good girl and how good I was
How there is no need to make such a fuss
And though I still cry in my sleep and feel the pain
And I think of killing you when I hear your name
And I never felt so disgusted like I haven't bathed in years
But I must thank you for making me realize my fears
Before I wasn't scared and believed I was unbeatable
But thanks to you, you showed me that I'm vulnerable
It's funny how easily I can be broken like a piece of glass
How slowly in a moment like that time will pass
But I look at you now and you're nothing but scum
You have no money, no house, no friends, or fun
So even though I'm scarred and the pain will never heal
At least in the torment you live in right now is real
You're thirty years old and you've done nothing with your life
No kids, no relatives, or even a loving wife
Makes me laugh because I realize how sad it must be
To know the only thing you accomplished in doing is me
I'll live my life to the full and have a smile on my face
I'll wipe you off my mind and leave you alone in this place
I don't feel sorry for you or how you find it hard to survive
'Cause you stopped me from living a normal life
So cry in front of me and beg for mercy
I won't show it to you, someone so unworthy
I'll ignore the pain and the tears you cry
And don't you dare ask me why
'Cause put it simply my darling so you could understand
Go back to memory lane and press rewind
Remember my face, remember the untouched version
But from meeting you my attitude has worsened
I'm no longer the innocent girl you once knew
I'm sorry, rapist, if you still don't have a clue
I'm saying you'll get no mercy from me
'Cause where was it when I asked for it
I end up crying whenever I try to pen my story of rape. Today I'm going through a lot of fear, shredding my pain on people who actually love me. I'm afraid to get close to people, for I don't...
It's Okay Because At Least I'm Not Like You
Published by Family Friend Poems March 2009 with permission of the Author.
You definitely need to tell someone. I'd start by telling your school and obviously, your mother. I hid sexual harassment for nine, ten months, even longer from my family, and it got me nowhere, except in a dark place. You need to tell someone. You can't keep it all bottled up. It isn't healthy. I'd also definitely try some therapy or counseling. It may sound weird, I thought the same thing, trust me, I wasn't too happy with the idea, but it honestly helps so much. You don't even need to do testing or anything if you don't want to. Just having a counselor to talk to and get through the pain and learning to cope is extremely helpful in this kind of situation. Telling the school will get the law involved and make him own up to his crime. Telling your mom will help her understand your pain. If you want, telling close friends or family is a great way to cope. They will always be there to support you.