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It's Okay Because At Least I'm Not Like You

Rape Poem

This is a poem I decided to write about my experience with rape and how I realized that he wasn't worth my tears although I'd be lying if I didn't get upset every now and then over it. I mean, I did look up to the man as an uncle or something similar to that, so I hope it helps some people (even though I don't see how) to accept what can't be done and accept the fact that don't worry he'll get his in the end.

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I end up crying whenever I try to pen my story of rape. Today I'm going through a lot of fear, shredding my pain on people who actually love me. I'm afraid to get close to people, for I don't...

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It's Okay Because At Least I'm Not Like You

Published by Family Friend Poems March 2009 with permission of the Author.

You're nothing but a dirty old man
But I knew it was some sort of elaborate plan
It's okay, but let me ask, did I fulfill your needs
Sure it doesn't matter that you made me bleed
Did it feel good to use me like I was just a piece of dirt?
Use those lines all you want, there's no need to flirt?
Tell me you love me while you take it all away
'Cause I still won't believe a single word you say
I remember telling you no and go away too
But apparently it wasn't up to me, it was up to you
Tell me I'm a good girl and how good I was
How there is no need to make such a fuss
And though I still cry in my sleep and feel the pain
And I think of killing you when I hear your name
And I never felt so disgusted like I haven't bathed in years
But I must thank you for making me realize my fears
Before I wasn't scared and believed I was unbeatable
But thanks to you, you showed me that I'm vulnerable
It's funny how easily I can be broken like a piece of glass
How slowly in a moment like that time will pass
But I look at you now and you're nothing but scum
You have no money, no house, no friends, or fun
So even though I'm scarred and the pain will never heal
At least in the torment you live in right now is real
You're thirty years old and you've done nothing with your life
No kids, no relatives, or even a loving wife
Makes me laugh because I realize how sad it must be
To know the only thing you accomplished in doing is me
I'll live my life to the full and have a smile on my face
I'll wipe you off my mind and leave you alone in this place
I don't feel sorry for you or how you find it hard to survive
'Cause you stopped me from living a normal life
So cry in front of me and beg for mercy
I won't show it to you, someone so unworthy
I'll ignore the pain and the tears you cry
And don't you dare ask me why
'Cause put it simply my darling so you could understand
Go back to memory lane and press rewind
Remember my face, remember the untouched version
But from meeting you my attitude has worsened
I'm no longer the innocent girl you once knew
I'm sorry, rapist, if you still don't have a clue
I'm saying you'll get no mercy from me
'Cause where was it when I asked for it

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Has this poem touched you? Share your story!

by A Lost Bird
3 years ago

I end up crying whenever I try to pen my story of rape. Today I'm going through a lot of fear, shredding my pain on people who actually love me. I'm afraid to get close to people, for I don't want to go through that again. I've been deaf and blind on people who are trying to show their love to me, for I don't want to hurt them, but I know I can't ever give all of me to them. I get disgusted on male hugs even, the reason why I avoid meeting people as well.

by Sophia R. Griffith
5 years ago

Wow, just wow! You have a way with words! This poem is so powerful and sheds light on what some people think is all a lie. They think we are dramatic, but they should see what we have to go through on a daily basis. As a survivor, I understand. My heart was sad and my eyes were filled with tears leaking down my face. In this poem, you were able to go the depths as a survivor and I commend you for that! To go that deep takes courage and a will to be that vulnerable for everyone to see it. Your writing can open so many others' eyes to what it truly means to be a survivor.

by Maggie
7 years ago

Five months ago I was staying with my aunt and her husband, but he raped me, and I never told anyone up until today. It hurts every day. I thought by leaving with my mum would help it be better, but I am still hurt. I am not going back to that house again, but how do I just forget?

by Pasthurtsliveon, 2821 Beacon St
8 years ago

Your poem conveys so much of what we, other people who have been abused can not say. Thank you for posting such a poem.

by Maverick Bullard
10 years ago

This touches me deeply. My half brother did this to me. I didn't tell anyone for years and when I finally did half didn't believe me and half didn't want to. I sometimes think back to the pain I had felt and want to kill myself, but I have come to realize I have grown since then and won't let myself give up because of HIM!

by Breanna, Texas
13 years ago

I was rubbed and fingered by my step dad who my mom broke up with a long time ago but he still comes around but I never told anyone... who do I tell and what do I do? please help.. thank you <3

by Lillian Kelley, Iowa, USA
9 years ago

You definitely need to tell someone. I'd start by telling your school and obviously, your mother. I hid sexual harassment for nine, ten months, even longer from my family, and it got me nowhere, except in a dark place. You need to tell someone. You can't keep it all bottled up. It isn't healthy. I'd also definitely try some therapy or counseling. It may sound weird, I thought the same thing, trust me, I wasn't too happy with the idea, but it honestly helps so much. You don't even need to do testing or anything if you don't want to. Just having a counselor to talk to and get through the pain and learning to cope is extremely helpful in this kind of situation. Telling the school will get the law involved and make him own up to his crime. Telling your mom will help her understand your pain. If you want, telling close friends or family is a great way to cope. They will always be there to support you.

by Grace
13 years ago

I sit here and read your words they touch me deeply. my stepdad took away a lot of things from me and while my mom watched I began to lose hope's can only remember my mom stepping in once to save me mostly she joined in. When I finally got away I got into a relationship like my childhood because that was all I knew. I thought that's how life was supposed to be. But when I was lying in that hospital bed hanging on to my life I realized I didn't have to go through this anymore that it wasn't my fault. You always here you go through thing for a reason and I was so angry at god because I couldn't understand why he could let that man come into my room and rape me every night and all the beatings I got. Well then one day I was in the court room with my little brother he's got special needs and was put through some of things too but there I was fighting for custody. I was granted custody. He's been a blessing and now I realize what that reason in my life was for him. I've put my pain aside to raise him.

by Suzi Mitchell
13 years ago

Reading this poem has brought up a lot of emotions for me. My grandfather stole my innocence when I was 6 years old. I will never forget or forgive! But with specialist counseling I can move forward now.

by Lowelaa
13 years ago

Your poem really has expressed every emotion I feel. I just wished I was as strong as you and so many others and just lived and focused on the positive things in my life and life its self.

by Elle, London
14 years ago

I read lots of these poems, but I have never left a comment before. But I got to the end and it said 'has this poem touched you?' and the simple truth is yes. At the end my eyes were wet and my heart was sore. Your words are beautiful even though they describe something ugly. Your strength shines through your words.