The Forgotten Victim

• by Bonnie
• 6 years ago

My husband left yesterday for a 180-month sentence. I do not have any family. His family won't speak to me, and any friends I had were long gone while he was out on bail once they heard. I'm devastated. I can't imagine how you all do this. This little poem made me feel like someone out there is dealing with the same thing. Thank you for that.

• by Misty Dawn Jones
• 7 years ago

This poem and the posts after it all moved me deeply. My husband to be just started his sentence of 191 months this month. He was given a DOSA sentence, so hopefully he will be back to me in 63.98 months. Having said that, I would like to say that sending someone to prison sucks. I have written and received letters from EVERY prison in the state I live in. I have been writing inmates since I was 9 years old. My brother, my sister, a cousin, and numerous friends of mine have done more time than anyone ever should. What makes me the saddest is that THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE THERE. It really isn't that hard to stay out of prison. Just don't do the things they send you away for...easier said than done for too many loved ones. We do the time with them and are too often forgotten.

• by Sally Moore
• 7 years ago

Both my husband and I have done a lot of time, and being apart it so hard. There is no rehabilitation in the system, and sometimes people make mistakes, but that does not mean you turn your back. My husband has done over 25 years in his short 43 years of life, and this time I can actually say that we will never return to prison. These poems make me cry, and I am just so lucky that he is alive. Prison almost took him away, and I miss him more and more each day. Without my love and support he would have ended his life, but now we just look forward to restarting our lives again one day soon.

• by James Brown
• 7 years ago

I did 48 months with the feds. At the time we had four kids 18 to 13. Everything was going ok two years into the sentence. At around that time my wife decided to help a complete stranger, a 35 year old man. Both of us were already getting to fifty. That man, a self-admitted gang affiliate and had been at some point in his youth charged with homicide but not convicted, lived with my family for those two years. He did not pay rent nor did my wife need anyone there, and I did not approve of it. When released, I went home and found still that my wife was storing some of his property and he had left his dog there as well. She swears up and down that nothing inappropriate happened between the two of them. I tell her that had it been the other way she would probably not believe that. What outrages me the most is that he was much younger than me and he was quite the very opposite in all.

• by Tonya Elliott
• 7 years ago

Four months into a 30 month sentence. At times I feel I can't breathe. I miss him so much. He took such very good care of me, and I'm trying so hard on a ssdi check to keep the house and help me. I Love him so much it hurts. We will get through this.

• by Gigi
• 7 years ago

Hi, my husband is in jail. He got in trouble on March 3. He's a good guy. I love him to death. We are young. I'm 24, he's 26. We have a beautiful baby girl, 3 years old. Long story short, he was drunk and did something extremely out of his character. He stabbed a guy, and I was very upset and so was he because he didn't remember it all and it's not like him. He is trying to get a good deal with a public defender. I just started a job and only work part time because of my baby. The DA wants to push for 20 to life, and he does not want that. As time goes by will they lower the time? What can I expect? Looking for opinions of people who have gone through this. He has premeditated attempted murder and attempted murder. The cops lied to me saying to go pick up his stuff and they took a statement which I didn't know because I've never been through this and they are putting words in my mouth. Is there any way I can take care of one of the charges? I'm lost and don't know what to expect.

• by Millie Frear
• 7 years ago

I was 7 or 8 when my dad went to prison, and now I'm 12. He's still in prison and I don't see him that often, but when I do, time goes too quick. I always wonder what would have happened if he stayed in that night, but I'll never know. :( I remember it like it was yesterday. I was walking back from the dentist with my mum (it was only down the road) and I saw a lot of police cars and a helicopter, but I didn't know it was for my dad! I saw him, but I didn't think he was getting arrested. The police took everything, his clothes and even my phone. :( I wonder will he have changed when he's out, but I can't wait for him to be home! I think of him every night and normally burst out in tears because nobody understands. :( I hate when other kids say stuff to me about it, but I guess that's how life goes. You have good days and then bad. :( The worst thing ever is when I'm on the phone with him and his credit runs out and it ends and you haven't finished saying I love you, but I love him.

• by Yasmine
• 8 years ago

I can really relate (not as a girlfriend or wife but as a sister) because my brother is always in and out of prison for petty crimes, but people don’t realize about the convict’s families. They’re just too quick to judge you for the crime your family member has committed, which is not fair, but I guess it’s life! I do pray that one day he will see sense & discover there’s more to life than criminal activity. This poem is very touching.

• by Beverly Donegan
• 8 years ago

First I would like to say to the wife whose husband is in prison: Keep on loving your husband, praying for him and yourself. In your vows you took before God, you said for better/worse, and I can only imagine this is your worse. You all can still talk on the phone, visit and write love letters. I will pray for you.

My story is that I have two children who are in prison, and I feel so lonely at times, I really wish I could spend more time with my sons, but I keep us in prayers. My family and friends do not seem to care, not even for my feelings for my sons. I can't abandoned my sons. God has never left me and I can't leave my sons. If my family, friends, and neighbors are hurt in this fashion, I will pray for their loved one in prison, I'll write them and put a little something on their books. I feel it's me, my sons, and God against the world.
Sincerely,
Mother Of Prisoners

• by Nicole Martinez
• 8 years ago

I'm going on 2 years with my husband. My husband got sentenced 2 years in prision. It's difficult and hard being away from the person you love, but I keep my head up to keep me going throughout the days! I been there since day one and I'll still be there now. God's words keep me standing!

• by Sara
• 8 years ago

Wow, this poem made me feel so understood. I am that women who most friends and family members talk about behind my back. They don't understand why I decided to marry my boyfriend before he went in and until they feel how he makes me feel, they will never understand. I am now the wife of a wonderful man, father, friend who unfortunately has to be away from his wife and children for a while. We are 4 months into a 7 year sentence, and after reading everyone's comments I know I'm not the only one. Not like I thought I was but it does feel good to know other women out there feel my pain. I pray for everyone's loved ones to be kept safe and for them to come home sooner than later.

• by Amber B, SC
• 8 years ago

My husband has been in prison for over 14 years and we have been together 4 years....my only wish is that I was there the whole time. He is my person my gift from God my blessing. He has taught me to see life in a new way. True love is real and I know it is ever lasting. I always say if you can't love me at my worse do you deserve me at my best? This has built our marriage in new ways....just want to say to all the women waiting on there mate....be strong...don't give up...pray thru weakness...don't listen to others if it is negative people....they don't get it....be blessed

• by Rebekah Brown, Maryland Charles County
• 9 years ago

My boyfriend got a five year sentence. He is going on his fourth year. He has depression now. It hit him 6 months ago. He is pushing me away, he thinks I deserve better, he wants me to move on with someone else. I keep telling him that I don't want another man. I chose to stand by his side through all of this. He is very negative too. So my question is how do I help him from the outside?

• by Jazmin Gonzalez, Tx
• 9 years ago

I met my bf when I was 10 started dating at 13. Those who say you cannot love at such an early age are wrong. I have never and will never love a man like I loved him. I loved his walk, his voice, his laugh and everything that came with him. He went to juvi at 13 for 9 months and when he out I was to proud to show I cared, he moved on and although it seemed like I moved on I was patiently waiting until he came back around. At 17, tired of waiting and thinking he would never change, I married another man because he was nice to me. He knew I didn't love him and that caused problems. We had 2 kids I thought we had a good enough friendship to make it through, but I never stopped loving my first love. I am 25 now and I'm back with the only man I have ever loved except he is serving a 17 year prison sentence. He has been there 4 years now but we have only been together 7 months. Sometimes I do wonder if I can commit for 8 -10 more years I'm afraid to waste my life away. But I love him so much.

• by Mirada, Washington
• 9 years ago

I have five children with my husband. We are best friends and will come out even stronger at the end of this five year sentence.

• by Cathy Martin, Baltimore Md
• 9 years ago

I have three sons with my husband and he was just sentenced to 9 years in prison. It is very hard but I will stand beside him and make it.

• by Jg
• 10 years ago

I am 30 years old and just became official with a wonderful man I met who is currently in jail and just got an 11-year prison sentence. We met in person, chatted at church for two months (he came back to God hard after the situation that landed him in trouble), but we hadn't talked about it yet. We went out on one date and then he disappeared. I found out through a friend where he was and started writing. We have been writing now for several months, becoming more and more impressed with each other and finally expressed our feelings in September. It's hard to think about the time stretching ahead, I really hope he will be able to work it down. I am realizing that the only way for the time to be doable and even enjoyable, is for me to 1) get as close to God as possible so that I am filled and sustained 2) have friends and fun and 3) have plans for the years ahead besides waiting. Some of my plans include things I was already working on such as furthering my schooling, but others are things I've always wanted to do but was waiting for marriage. So I decided to stop waiting for marriage to do the things that I am called to do in life. I am going to get my Master's, get a good-paying job, get a place of my own, and become a foster parent. Through all of that I will share with my boyfriend what I am experiencing and learning and he will do the same with me. He's planning to learn trades and do schooling from prison and he's reading the Bible all the time and doing Bible studies. I see such potential for us to be able to walk through the time ahead together and to encourage each other in it. I've made it through the last several months and having him in my life was definitely preferable to the year before when I was single and really lonely - having to cry out to God like crazy for fulfillment, and I got filled but it was hard and I learned and matured a lot. This new situation is scary, but I really have peace about it. I think in a way that is what love is for, to help during hard times. Also I suggest reading at www.michaelsantos.com/blog, Michael's story of his and his wife's relationship during his long prison incarceration. God bless you all!

• by India, Wichita Falls
• 10 years ago

I am 29 years old and I will be 30 in no time. My boyfriend has been mine since I was 17. When I was 20 he was locked away in federal prison on drug charges for 21 yrs. My story is a sad one I must admit. I have no children nor a husband. The man I had planned to live that life with is not able to live that life with me. See I think in my opinion it's much easier to take on this journey when you have children only because they keep you occupied with life. But me, well I spend a lot of time alone and lonely. I used to try to have male friends but it's void no other man can fill. This hole in my hearts seems to get bigger with every sleepless lonesome night. I've prayed so much and so hard but maybe not enough. The new federal laws give hope but not enough to trample the fear. What scares me the most is having to say good bye. You see I'm almost 30 with no children, no husband, no justified life. And it's breaking my soul down. If he is forced to do all his time then that adds nine more years to this unpleasant life. And all the best negative thoughts run through my head what if I stay all this time then he decides I'm not what he wants or me vise versa..to be honest I'm one of them who crave love I'm an Aries for goodness sakes. I been so long alone I deserve the promised life. Seems I've come so far to turn back now but how far have I really come. How far can I go...I just really want him home!!!

• by Turtle
• 10 years ago

Well, it goes a little something like this! I am a single mother of 6 boys, my husband went to federal prison in 2010, he was caught with some stuff and they gave him his time! He only spent a little while in the county jail before they took him, and I mean, it's been almost 5 years of a 20 year bid! but I thank god for allowing these changes in the federal drug laws, our paid attorney for this case said its 99% chance his time will be cut from a 20 year bid down to max of a 8 year bid! (all I can do is have faith and pray), I am asked all the time, why am I waiting on a man in prison, I said why cause I love him no matter what I will stand by him! Now since being in federal prison, we can email each other, thank god he is only 30 mins away from home! Well to all that has a husband in prison, I understand it all, and if your loved one is in federal prison check out the new federal drug laws!

• by Kali Aaron
• 10 years ago

My fiancé is in jail right now. We had a son back in December of 2012, and he died on Christmas eve 2012 from a hole in his stomach that was not detected. He was so heartbroken that his first son died and he thought it was his fault for the longest time even though he knew that he had nothing to do with our son's death. A month and 2 days after our son passed he committed a crime and has been in the county jail for a year 1/26. I miss him so very much and he could be looking to a long time in prison for the crime he committed. He is guilty of the crime and I do NOT agree with what he did but I couldn't do anything to prevent him from doing it.

• by Cindy, California
• 10 years ago

Reading this poem was so me. My son's father is in jail. He hasn't been in his life but is in jail right now and wants to be part of his life. But all my family doesn't want him to have any contact with him. My son deserves to know his father. I can so relate to this poem. It's what I am going thru right now with my family. Thank you. I am going to send this to my son's father.

• by Dalaina, San Quentin
• 11 years ago

Just got happily married to a wonderful man serving time on Death Row. I'm dedicated to working diligently with so many others to see that the death penalty is abolished in the next couple of years. There is a great chance that it will be voted out. Thank you for the poem and stay strong. There's an endless supply of support for families and loved one's of those incarcerated in the prison nation. All you have to do is seek it. Love to all!

• by Hope, Ohio
• 11 years ago

So thankful for your poem. Do know that it is something as simple as a poem that can calm ones spirit. Our family has been feeling the words of your poem for only five months now, but it feels like five years. We support our imprisoned love ones because that's the love of God inside each one of us. I pray many blessings of strength upon you and your family. No one take away from you that which God only gives, and that is love. It's sad to say but true that some people will only understand if and when it happens to them.

• by Nicole, Baltimore
• 11 years ago

Wow this has me in tears. So very true what an amazing poem. I'm a mother of two and my husband was sentenced to 10 years in Federal prison. My son is 5 1/2 and I was 3 months pregnant with my daughter when he went away. She is now 3.

• by Candy, Nebraska
• 11 years ago

I am 21 and my Boyfriend of several years was put away and not yet been sentenced. We have a 5 month old daughter. When he was put away every one came after me with their comments and verbal abuse, and I am his only support system. His mother and father have gave up and disowned him. This poem made me tear up and it hit home for me. No matter what happens I will be by his side and fighting through life with him. Thank you for making this poem! And thank you for every one who has shared their stories!

• by Tianna, Owensboro
• 11 years ago

Wow.... this is wild but I just wrote my fiancée who's currently in prison a poem with this exact same theme, worded differentially but practically the exact same poem. My fiancée and I were to be married April 22, 2012, unfortunately due to some unproved crimes which he still hasn't been sentenced on was arrested Feb. 16 due to pv, and must serve 3 on that. While clueless about the pending charges. We have a son that just turned 2. What makes it even worst is we're almost 3 states apart. Making it extremely hard to see one another. Haven't seen him since early March:'( but I could an wouldn't never leave him

• by Michelle, Albany
• 12 years ago

Your poem has touched my life. I have been going through what your poem describes for last 2 years. I have been outcasted from my family, because my husband has been in prison for last 2 years and has 20 year sentence. No one can tell us who we love, for I will stand by him until he is able to come home. Thank you once again.

• by Brittany, Jacksonville
• 12 years ago

My Husband is in RMC right now, soon heading to a state prison to serve five years, hopefully 2-3 if were lucky. He is in protective custody right now because some guys found out his charges and decided five against one to 'teach him a lesson'. I love my husband, I married him after he was arrested, before sentencing. No one understands and everyone hates him. I'm 21 and his 24th birthday was last week. He spent it alone in a cell. All because of a stupid mistake he made online. He's learned his lesson, and continues to grow as a better person and yet people still hate him and think of him as a criminal. I hate it. I will send him this poem, thank you!

• by Julie
• 12 years ago

My husband was sent to jail for 10 years when my son is only 7 months old.. Thank You for the poem. Some of the poem really touched me. Although what ever happens I will wait for him.

• by Lovy Fullwood
• 12 years ago

Thank you for telling my tale. I've been married to my husband for 8 years and for the last 4 he has been in jail serving a 25 year sentence.

• by Letty, Donna
• 12 years ago

Hi, to all. I perfectly understand what you all feel. I was in the shower this morning thinking about how the U.S. Marshalls barely give me any information where my husband is going to serve his sentence. I was thinking of all the comments from family and friends. A so called particular friend who had gotten married through church said to me ,"Girl if I were you I would have left him already." I asked her, "Wow, did you pay attention to the vows you just shared with your husband?" I told her, not just because your man is down you are going to continue kicking him. YOU ARE GOING TO BE THERE TO HELP HIM UP. Ladies stay cool and be strong because I know the emotions, the finances, us ladies go through and sometimes our children are what keeps us functioning probably 60-70 percent of the time. The other 30-40 percent is doing his time. That 30-40 percent if still missing in our lives to make us complete. A FAMILY!

• by Nadine, Warsaw
• 12 years ago

When I read this poem, I thought WOW!!! someone put my story into words. My hubby and I were married for 24 1/2 years before we divorced in 2010. After a few short months we realized that the divorce was a mistake and we have been working on our relationship since. In January 2012 he committed a crime that was blown all out of proportion in every type of media. They made him out to be a monster that our four grown children and I know he is not. Our children and I know what it feels like to have fingers pointed and comments whispered, even by people we thought were are true friends. He is serving his time and our children, grandchildren and I are eagerly awaiting his release in 2013. We are standing by his side through it all and when he is released I will proudly become his wife again. Thank You for sharing this poem, it is nice to know we are not alone. Our faith in God and love for each other will get us through all of this.

• by Cara, Fall River
• 12 years ago

I have been with my man since December 1, 2010. He was in and out of jail his whole life. he was arrested three days ago for violating our no contact order and his looking at about a year in prison. He is my best friend, my life, and the greatest man I have ever known. Thank you for this beautiful piece of poetry.

• by Holly G, Utah
• 12 years ago

Thank you for this beautiful poem. It really touched my heart. My husband and I have been married for 11 years and we have 2 boys. He is a wonderful man and has never been in trouble with the law. He made a mistake and has been in jail the last 7 months and will be going to prison for about 2 years. I love him so much and I will never give up on him. Some people just don't understand. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words I can share with friends and family.

• by Ganza
• 12 years ago

This poem is so true I'm 21 I got married to my husband at 20 and right now he just got sentenced to 8 years in prison! :(( the worst part is that I can't even go see him! and I love him with all my heart I don't know how this is gonna work out yet being so far away.

• by Lil Als Gal, California
• 12 years ago

Yes this poem touched my heart.. People act as if it's a crime to love someone on the inside and don't realize that it could easily happen to them. My heart goes out to every person that knows the feeling of loving someone that we can't reach. Take one day at a time and keep in mind that 'Only GOD can judge us'.

• by Maria G, California
• 12 years ago

Thank you for this poem so much. Words help when it hurts inside. My husband is going to be gone for 9 years. He made wrong decisions but it feels like my son and I are also paying for them too. I know how it is to have the looks and whispers, From family, friends and perfect strangers. Telling me I'm dumb for being with him. I love with all my heart and soul and I will always will. This poem touch my heart and made feel like I'm not alone.

• by Chris H. Boston, MA
• 12 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful work. I've been the one inside several times, and the love and support of my family and friends kept me going. Now a young woman who has become very dear to me has been incarcerated, and for the 1st time, I'm left to realize the stress & pain that incarceration imposes from the other side of the wall. I found your poem to be spot-on, both in describing the reactionary judgments of others and how you just don't care; we love these inmates because of who they are, not because of what they are alleged to have done. Thanks again, love, respect and best wishes.

• by Milly, NY
• 12 years ago

My boyfriend is going to jail for what may be 7 years on Federal charges..non violent...financial. He has been a father to my children, my best friend and lover...my true love and partner. We are from an upper middle class neighborhood and this matter is not foreign to many, but still taboo. I worry endlessly that my children will suffer more public harassment than I will because I am strong and can face anyone with dignity. But it still scares me to see my life turn upside down when the whole world thinks I have been in such a great place with a great guy. I am unsure of what will be. I love him dearly but seven years is a very long time.

• by Cassidy, Mt
• 12 years ago

I loved this.. It really went to heart with me. My fiancée is in jail right now but going to prison soon, for the next 6 or more years... We have had this huge wedding planned for us and were so excited, but now we have to get married through the system.
Now that all of my family and friends have found out about me staying with him after everything, my dad has kicked me out, my mom has threatened me with everything she can, my best friends have judged me and put me down in every way they can. I feel like I have no one now just because I have found the one person in life that has made me happy and that I am madly in love with. I feel so alone because of all of it but now reading all of these and this poem I feel better in so many ways.. Thank you.

• by Michelle Nnokam
• 12 years ago

Me and my husband have three wonderful kids ages 8 7 and 5. He's going to miss them growing up if this sentence reduction fails. I'm just trying to stay strong and maintain a "normal" life though its really hard. We miss him so much.

• by Jessica, Va
• 12 years ago

The love of my life who took on me and my 3 kids might have to face 20 or more years. I'm looking for some kind of support group here which I can't find any in Va Beach Va. If you can help me that would be great. I miss him and I know the man he is and some he did but not all of it. Thank you to anyone who can help me.

• by Louise, Mi
• 12 years ago

Hello, I thought I was the only one who felt like this sometime I feel so alone. My fiancé is locked up for almost two years and we don't know for how long yet. I have heard all the above statements like leave him, he should be in jail and my heart is telling me to stay. It hurts to see his name and picture in the papers but thanks for knowing that I'm not the only one who feels like this...I thought no one else understood.

• by Deborah, Denver Colorado
• 12 years ago

There are other women like me? Women that understand me? I want to give up, but my heart wont allow it. Everyone tells me to get over it, ("at least he's not dead" they say) I feel stuck and all alone. Well except for the fact that my husband did leave me with 4 kids.
God bless you all! Sorry for venting.

• by Shannon, New York
• 13 years ago

This is too true for many of us. Michael and I had a most unconventional chance to meet while he had already been in prison for some time-he has in fact been there most of his adult life for a crime they can't even connect him to. Come what may, and after a decade of ups and downs, break-ups and make-ups, we will no longer deny what's between us or rage against the details we don't have the power to change-we will cope, and we will also marry soon, because I would rather wait a lifetime for the right man, than take the easy way out for less than perfect for me. My heart would know the difference. Best of luck and blessings to you all....

• by Julie, Ontario
• 13 years ago

This poem was right on the button for me as well. I met my man while in a detention center. We became pen pals and in no time at all became something more. We've been together for a little past a year and recently got engaged. He is getting sentenced for 10 years in a federal prison and I plan on riding with him all the way. We will marry in the pen as soon as they allow us to. I'm not going anywhere! The poem is AWESOME!

• by Jessica, Illinois
• 13 years ago

My husband just went to jail on the 9th we have been together for 9 years and have a 7 year old daughter. My family all says I should leave him but I love him too much to let g.o I know he is a awesome dad and husband this made me feel better. I really miss him and would do anything for him to be home.

• by Regina, West Virgina
• 13 years ago

Let the court not see your fear. Just remember your love is here. As you stand up to hear your fate. Please know that your girlfriend will wait.. Take the time to plea your case. Wipe all tears from your face. This day wont break you, this I know. It's Just going to be hard to watch you go..

• by Regina, West Virgina
• 13 years ago

I wrote this for my boyfriend of 10 years, who's now doing time... Dear Lord, I'm in this place all alone. Protect the ones who are back home. I did some things and don't know why. Now I'm inside the walls where men can't cry. Lord watch over my love, my heart.. Keep her safe while were apart. Whisper I love you when she goes to bed. Place my picture inside her head. Kiss her soft when she does wake. Give her a good day please for her sake. Some times its hard when I'm not there.. Dear lord answer this prison prayer...

• by Jenny, UK
• 13 years ago

Heya, I'm Jen and come 4th May, there's a very big chance, my partner will be given a prison sentence.. =[
I've never been so scared in my whole life. I don't even want to begin imagining life without him.
If anyone could contact me through my Facebook (link given) of tips and ways to help to cope.. I would be extremely grateful!

• by Vanessa. Midland, Tx
• 13 years ago

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and we met while he was in jail. He was released in Jan 2010, but ended up back in jail in Dec 2010. He's looking at anywhere from 2-20. All because someone lied. This poem explains exactly what I feel like, and how people talk without knowing the whole story. Thank you.!!

• by Meghan, Nebraska
• 13 years ago

My husband was sentenced to 5 years in Missouri. Right now we do not know where he is or when we will be able to see or write him. In the short time he has been gone I've lost many friends and support from family. They don't understand why I continue to love and support him and I don't think they ever will. Thank you for your beautiful work I hope I will be able to share it with my hubby and those who are still at my side soon.

• by Misty
• 13 years ago

I know what it is like to love someone behind bars but it's not my husband. its my 20 yr old son.. I really feel alone and that nobody understands. the tears fall harder every day that he is gone.. 29 days now and it's not getting easier here. I know I'm not the only 1.. thank you for sharing

• by Courtney, California
• 13 years ago

I'm 20. My boyfriend got locked up Dec.1,2010 right after I found out I was pregnant with his kid. I was devastated. At first my mom was really supportive with me waiting for him but after they sentenced him for 4 months she told me I could do better. Now I have to sneak and write him and everything. I send him poems and everything. I sent him this one a couple weeks ago and he absolutely loved it. thanks.

• by Megan, Kansas
• 13 years ago

I absolutely love this poem. It could have not been written any better. I was married June 21st 2010 and 2 days later my husband went to jail. He has been there since. He is now on his way to prison till the end of 2012. He asked me not to wait, and yet here I am 7 months later still holding on to all the love I have ever had for him. And not giving up. We got an annulment which was just finalized last week. I absolutely wish it did not happen that way, and we are waiting for him to be sent to a prison where he can have visits. I cannot wait to be able to just see him again. Phone calls are not the same!!!

• by Christine, Texas
• 13 years ago

My 20 yr old son will be sent to prison soon, for 4 years. I don't live near people that know about his crime. I don't hear the comments that people are making, but I know friends/people know. I know they're talking. Of course, I wish it never happened. I wish he was still my innocent boy, but he's not. I know how I feel as a mother who couldn't love her son any less...I imagine this is how GOD feels with each of us when we do anything wrong in His eyes. We still LOVE.
Thank you for your poem.

• by Nezzie, Denver
• 14 years ago

Wow, you wrote an excellent poem. You describe in great detail. It is a fact when people say that when a loved one does time, you do time with him or her. People can be so cruel, It is none of their business what your husband has done. People can be so judgmental, why don't they clean up their own lives, their lives are probably dirtier than yours, but please don't stop writing poetry, you truly have a gift, please don't let it slip through your fingers. Good Luck and God Bless.

• by Terri Waites
• 14 years ago

I like this. My husband has been in prison 19 yrs and I married him 1 yr ago after writing and talking for 7 years. People don't understand what it is to love those locked up. His mother passed away 2 yrs ago and the last 3 of those she was to ill to visit still young she died at 53 yrs old. She hurt all the years her oldest boy was gone.

• by C Scott, Oly WA
• 14 years ago

This poem finally put into words how I feel. My neighbors, who are his cousins, my friends and his alike. They all told me to leave him. And he is only in County Jail. He has been to prison, has spent several years. We have 2 Small children and another on the way. I was put on bed rest from all the stress. I posted the poem on my FB and myspace to tell people exactly how I felt. Thank you for putting words down that can finally say what is in my mind, but I could never do it.

• by Liz, AR
• 14 years ago

Other than a song by Alicia Keys called That's How STRONG My Love Is. I have yet to feel that I was going to survive my husbands federal time. After reading this and the other comments I know I can. I never realized the pain families go through when their family member is in jail. I now know the feeling of lose. He is my true love forever and I will wait forever if it takes that. Thank you and we can all make it. No one has to know how hard it is as long as those of us in this boat stick together. I can do this I am woman! God Bless Us All!!

• by Eve
• 14 years ago

Hello Alison,

Thank you for putting so eloquently the feelings that your family experienced when your loved one was incarcerated.

I am a University student who is doing a research project on the Forgotten Victims, family members who's loved ones commit crime. Volunteering for Victim Services I was appalled to find out they do not go and support families of perpetrators. I quit soon after on principle.

I now have the opportunity to shed light on the lack of support from community organizations for families of those who commit crime. Interesting my proposal is of the same title as one of your poems.

• by Paden OK
• 14 years ago

This story mad me cry. I am sending it to my sons father in prison. He never got to see his first born son come into this world. And many people say a lot of these comments because I am trying to keep him and my son in contact with each other. My son just turned one and he does not know his father. And I wish they could have known the good in my man . but instead all they want to see is what he done wrong. So God bless those who must be the forgotten victim. Especially those too young to understand why people look at them like they done something wrong.

• by Alicia, Ontario
• 14 years ago

"The Forgotten Victim" provides a unique perspective on a very difficult subject and does it with such passion, clarity and simplicity. You've said it all.

I have never faced these particular challenges in life, but I was an abused child for 10 years.

This poem taught me that there are other unseen victims who are needlessly traumatised themselves.

Thank you for sharing your insights and wisdom.

Alicia

• by Kayla Cherie Inman
• 14 years ago

My dad went to prison when I was 4 years old. He stole a car and it had an 18 month old in the backseat. When he realized the little girl was back there, he pulled over and called the cops to let them know where the car was. He went to prison for 7 years. While he was serving his sentence, I was illegally adopted by some of my mother's relatives. Everyone always told me that he was a monster and a terrible person because of what he did...but he was still my dad and I still loved him, regardless. May 13th of 2010 I finally got to see my dad again, after 14 years of searching for each other, we were reunited. But I felt like the "Forgotten Victim" until I hugged him after 14 years, and I realized, that even though no one else saw me as a victimized little girl, my dad did and he NEVER forgot about me.

• by Fallon, UK
• 14 years ago

Wow, this is exactly what I'm going through right now, my partner got sent away when I was 7 months pregnant, our baby is 6 weeks old now.
He came 4 weeks early from all the stress I was feeling, so many people are quick to judge those who wait and stand by the one they love, but who are they to judge, for the man they describe isn't the man I know and love.
Thank you for speaking out for us x

• by Alicia, Maine
• 14 years ago

I absolutely loved this! I am only 21 and married with 3 children. My husband has been in prison over two years excluding "the bracelet" I have stood by him through thick and thin. He is up for parole this November and I'm hoping and praying he is released. This poem is my life through and through! Thank You so much!

• by Lori, Georgia
• 14 years ago

Thank you for sharing this poem. It really touched me. Your words and thoughts are beautifully expressed, thank you for expressing the hurts so many of us feel as the forgotten victim. We are not alone.

• by S. Mullins
• 14 years ago

This fits perfectly for me and J. Everyone says I am crazy to be with him. That I should move on and not waste my time, but I love him and I won't walk away from him when he needs me the most!

• by Linda Simonini
• 14 years ago

brilliant perfect and totally as it is.

told this to my man inside and he was crying
its how he sees it too

• by Tami
• 15 years ago

Wow this is what people do to me.
I'm 15 my boyfriend is 16 and people stop and look at us and say that I can do better then him, that he's scum and needs to be in jail, even the people that I thought were my friends started saying stuff behind my back.

• by Tristin
• 15 years ago

thank you for voicing what I have not been able to. Since my hubby went to prison over a year ago, this is what I've endured from the community at large. I have 2 kids, one is his, and nobody seems to get how it feels to be on the inside looking out. This was beautiful. I wish he could read this as well. Its kind of comforting to know...I'm not alone.

• by Alison Henderson Poet
• 15 years ago

Thank you Terry and Laurie for your comments. God bless you both.

• by laurie
• 15 years ago

I love this poem. It was like I was reading my own story. I am a 26 year old mother of two and my husband has been in federal prison for 7 years. He was 19 when he went in for drugs. He still has 11 more years to go. this makes me feel better knowing there are other people out there just like me. Thank you and God bless.

• by Terry
• 15 years ago

WOW..you just told my story. The story about a woman who had 4 small children who not only had to raise them by herself, but stand by her man and yet be alone for 27 years. And I heard it all, comments from family and strangers alike. WOW thank you for putting a voice to my thoughts.
God bless you, T