Do You Care

• by Tristitia Rerum
• 7 years ago

No one bullies me to the point where I break. It's all me. I am the bully which kicks myself farther down this dark hole. At first I was just sitting next to it laughing at everyone who fell, but then I realized it wasn't fun. It hurts. Since I was young I realized something was wrong. It felt weird. I became something I always feared: weak. I put on this façade that I am this strong girl. I cry in front of no one so they don't think I weak. But when I finally collapse after all that holding onto, they think I'm crazy. Do they not understand that I bottle up my emotions until they come gushing out. Sometimes when I'm sitting with my family and they're listening to a sad song I have to bite myself to the point that I bleed just so I don't cry. I'm not crazy. I just mix reality with my dreams, expecting something to happen. It doesn't. I am a child at war with myself. I have no enemy. I am not abused. I may be hated. I may be invisible. I may not exist in someone's eyes. But I exist.

• by XXRaven_Oni_ThornXx
• 8 years ago

I can relate to this. When I was six my mom left after trying to kill herself. Her bf was abusing and they never even noticed me at all when I was there. The only time they acknowledged my existence was when he would beat me. I didn't see her for over a year, she had completely forgotten about me until she needed help and when we gave it to her she committed suicide and I found her body. Then my dad became a drunk and I had to take care of myself for the most part plus care for my little sister and my Dad. So I know what it feels like to feel invisible. I was too, both at home and at school. My advice to you is that life gets better and people can't ignore you forever. Stay strong and don't give up.

• by Caleb M Lank
• 9 years ago

This poem relates to not only my life but also relates to many teens in the world. It's sad to have a parent that doesn't realize that your you are depressed, and some teens wonder how do I tell my parents? What are they going to say because they are so scared. This poem made me cry in a sense because every sentence in this poems is true and it's sad to say but Depression has literally taken over my life and I don't want to see that happen to anyone. When I first showed my mom the scars she yelled at me and I didn't think it was right because I thought the parents are supposed to be there for you. My friends are more caring and respectful than my parents because some friends have gone through the same thing and and they are the only ones to know what's going on.

• by Elizabeth Lovett
• 10 years ago

This poem relates so much. I've been dealing with depression for nearly 5 years. I struggle going to school and I always stay in bed but my mum doesn't seem to notice how bad it is. I've shown her my scars and my doctor has told her I have anxiety and depression but she still won't let me take any anti-depressants or anything like that because she "doesn't believe in it." I feel like she doesn't know what to say to it all. My dad couldn't give two shits and my siblings hate me, they think I'm just a mental case who over exaggerates. I don't understand how I'm still here. I should have died ages ago.

• by Bethany, San Juan
• 10 years ago

Everyday I think to myself what is life worth living. What should I do to help. Or how can I help but I'm going to give you my life story.

When I was three my father had past away I was so confused at the time but he was an alcoholic. I kept hearing his voice in my head even though that's sounds crazy I know I wasn't. Anyways when I was six I saw my moms divorced husband beat her. I was so sad. We currently are living in a storage room with no rooms and the only room is the restroom we live with a dog and my mom and little brother. I am so skinny I get bullied at school for that and I'm not shy I stand up for myself that's why I get into a lot of fights. I cut myself deep and have scars all over my thighs. I got raped by my 14 year old cousin when I was five. And I almost got banged again by these group of guys at my school.

• by Mackenzie, Juneau
• 10 years ago

I was abused from the time I was 6 until I was 12. My dad and his mom, my grandma abused me... And my grandma tried to kill me by choking me several times. I got out of the abuse and went to live with my mom when I was 12 and then shortly after I went to treatment. I went there for depression, cutting, and trying to kill myself. I got out on Nov. 25th, 2013 and I tried to kill myself again on Dec. 29th, 2013. I cut myself like one week before that, too. 2 weeks before St. Patrick's Day, I carved fat into my upper thigh. I felt like no one cared. Only my therapist. My mom had to call her because I would've told her in an individual session. But, idk. My mom is constantly yelling at me, but I go to my moms parents every night to try to get away from my siblings, mom, and step-dad. I don't have a life currently. I just do therapy. I still struggle with cutting myself and fighting the urge to kill myself.

• by Zachariah Mash
• 10 years ago

Hey, I know how you feel, I told my mom I had depression and need help she took it lightly and ignored my cry for help. My dad doesn't even care and acts like we are a happy family. I bring shame to them so they hide this problem and try to forget it.

• by Myanna, Omaha
• 11 years ago

Hey! I'm 11 and I feel the same way and it hurts really bad but the only thing keeping me up is knowing I can't give up. I want to be something, someone. So I have to at least try that's all I have to do. My fathers been in jail since I was 3 so I also live with my mom and it hurts but it helps knowing there are people out there just like me

• by Jessi, England
• 11 years ago

Trust me, I get you. I'm 14, and still facing MAJOR depression, I've noticed people just give up on us, when they know we can't be healed. But we can, with a little love, and care. We will be as good as new. But until they, we're just scars, of our past life..

• by Vanna
• 11 years ago

Love your poem. I know how you feel, I'm the same age and my mum just doesn't show a care in the world for me, she knows what I'm going through but she just goes and makes fun of me for what I have. My brothers and sisters don't help they rub it in more. I started cutting at 9, I had lost my granddad and was being bullied at home at school, my sisters and brothers say i'm mental, the mistake of my mother. I just wish there was someone who understands me who I could talk to without a problem..

• by Moni, Croatia
• 12 years ago

My parents divorced when I was 3 and ever since I live with my mum.
I'm 16 now, and have been feeling...depressed, since I was 11. My mum abused me, used to beat me up with a belt, kick me with her legs, knock my head against the wall...
She was abused too. I try to understand her, but can't.
First time I cut, I was 12. Scratches. With time they became deeper, more often, causing everyone, even my friends to call me emo and humiliated me daily. My arms, and legs are full of scars, +100 of them. Counted.
When my mum saw them she was all like I just robbed a bank or something. I thought she would understand but she never stopped repeating those awful, mean words and humiliating me.

I tried to fix myself - self injury (cutting, scratching, kicking a wall, burning), medication (Zoloft), alcohol... But nothing helped. I got worse. I'm fighting it still. But keep hope. We have future to focus on! We will make it somehow.

• by Jenna
• 12 years ago

It's unbelievable how much this poem represents my life. I feel terrible all the time. I try to reach out for help but no one cares. It's like I'm in a room full of people and I'm screaming to the top of my lungs but no one hears me. I'm 14 and me mom hates me, my dad doesn't' care and my sister wants me dead. I'm failing almost every class. I just don't know what to do anymore......

• by Jaquelyne
• 12 years ago

When I read these poems they remind me of myself and how I'm feeling like right now. I feel depressed and I want to kill myself.

• by Anna
• 13 years ago

I love your poem. My parents divorced when I was really little and my brother went MIA awhile ago. My mom remarried some jerk who is always bringing me down....but there are people who have worse than me. I'm 14 and as my mothers husband has screamed in my face before. I'm no good to anybody. but that's just because I'm a spitting image of my brother and he hates that....

• by Jasmine, USA
• 13 years ago

I'm 13.I also live with my mom...my dad died two or three months ago and then I started cutting. At first my mom cared swearing she'd be there but now......she could give a damn less....

• by Amy, England
• 13 years ago

Hey I'm 12 too. I some times think my mother doesn't care but I finally noticed she has her own problems besides me. I hate her for that but she's still my mother and I just want to say there are people who can help you, like your teacher's and friend's or if it's really bad you could talk to child line.

• by Chelsi, Virginia
• 13 years ago

+ story of my life !! its actually hard 2 deal with depression but eventually you will make it through. just remember the same things you cry about there's someone else in the world weeping about the same thing !! +

• by Alkiera
• 13 years ago

I know how you feel... when I told my mum I had depression, and showed her my scars, she sighed and said, 'Oh, I thought they'd be deeper, next time you get upset just go punch a tree or something, and walked away. When I cut myself again she screamed at me saying 'what do you even have to be depressed about ?!. So I finally gave up on the fact that my mums not there for me, but I know my friends are. Hopefully you can find someone you can rely on too x