Conviction

I wondered why I was here,
I constantly had burdens and fears...

I've loved,
I've lost,
And hurt with pain,
It was so hard living that way...

Why I put myself to live with shame,
And always remind me of who I haven't became?
I wanted to be the best and you be proud,
But my crazy world and crazy thoughts would
not allow...

No matter how hard I tried to forget the pain,
It wouldn't leave me,
I did,
I'm so ashamed...

The ones I love,
I didn't want it this way,
I closed my heart and I didn't pray...

I hurt me and I hurt you,
I'm sorry I did,
That's not what I wanted to do...

I had to stop and take the blame,
I had to before it was too late...

You showed me love,
Which I didn't deserve,
And helped me through without a word...

I taught you love,
You gave it back,
I can move on and heal from the past...

It still hurts, but not as bad,
It's better than the life I had...

Now I can show that I can be strong,
And show you who I am and who I wanted to
     be all along.