TEAH L. KAYNE

I did something last night I haven't done in years
It wasn't as much fun as I remembered
The outcome was good but it wasn't great
I was almost brought to tears

I thought my memory would serve me well
The mistakes I once made I would not repeat
But apparently I hadn't learnt my lesson
All I felt was dissatisfaction and defeat

I had made a pact between Me, Myself and I
I would never do this again
But when the temptation is so strong
It cannot be ignored
It made me forget about the pact I had made before

I only remembered the good
I had totally forgotten the bad
I remembered how much pleasure it gave me
I was convinced it was the most satisfying experience I had ever had

I was so engrossed with what was happening
My concentration was  intense
I was oblivious to my surrounds
That's all I can offer up in my defense

I had made a conscious decision to take it slow
So I'd remember every stroke
I wasn't capable of doing this before
I always went for broke

It wasn't planned
I was taken by surprise
Back in the day, in another lifetime
I was able to do this all night long
Until I saw the sun rise

But I'm glad I gave into my desire
Even though at times it made me blush
I have never been disappointed
Whenever I've picked up a paintbrush

I have started a ritual
That I'm not allowed to forget
Every night we go for a walk
Just after sunset

I open the front door
I let him out
And then I scooter off
I have to wait at the 1st gazebo
If I don't wanna piss him off

Usually I sit and wait
But tonight was different
The footy was on
He wouldn't come when I called
And it was getting cold and late

I stopped at the 2nd gazebo
To see if he wanted to catch up
He come flying around that corner so fast
I was sure I'd heard an echo

I rounded the corner and reached the door
I waited the usual five
I'm not a bad Mama
Really I'm not
I always give him time
To see if there are any lizards to find

He looked up at me
'I ain't ready yet Mama, I still have things to do'
OK then, I'll leave it to you to decide
The footy's on so I'm going back inside

10 minutes later
I'm lounging in my comfy chair
Billy came in through the cat door
He stood directly in front of me
I was given a disgusted stare

He jumped up on my lap
I thought he was coming for a rest
But I couldn't have been more wrong
You are about to be shocked and horrified
When I tell you what came next

He wasn't after a cuddle
It didn't take long before his intentions became clear
Mama was about to be in deep trouble

The attack was swift and savage
It had caught me completely off guard
He was determined to get even and make me pay
For my pain and suffering he had no regard

In the blink of an eye
He'd jumped off my lap
Landing on the arm of the chair
There were long sharp claws and knife edged teeth
Flying around me everywhere

I can't repeat what I said
As I picked up the remote and gave him a whack
For most cats that would be enough
But not for mine
When Billy gets this angry
He always comes back with another attack

And come back he did with a vengeance
You're gonna pay for what you just did
I'll teach you not to wait for me
Now you'll pay the consequence

This time he drew blood
This time he'd gone too far
This time he'd brought out the big guns
This time I was left with a scar

For the next 2 days I  completely ignored him
I gave him no affection at all
I gave him breakfast dinner and tea
That was the only attention he was getting from me

He got very sad and forlorn
And as usual I gave in
I can never stay angry with my boy for long
He always gets to win

Pull up a chair, Mama and take a load of
There are a couple of things I need to explain
This is not an apology
It's an explanation about what went down the other day

We'd had an agreement
But then you went and charged the rules
You turned our walk into a spectacle
And that was completely unacceptable

Once, twice, three times you're out
You didn't wait for me at the 1st gazebo
You made me run flat chat
And then you had the nerve to slam the door in my face
Have you forgotten who you're dealing with
I'm Billy the Bengal cat

Billy came through the cat door tonight
With the biggest catch I'd ever seen
It was so big he could hardly carry it
He had to drag it through his legs in between

I didn't have a clue what it was
It was yet to make a sound
It was big and black
With white polka dots
Running down the middle of its back

Before I could even guess
He'd dragged it quickly through his usual track
He slid under the bed without looking back

It was way too big to be a mouse
Or even a baby bird
It could have been a rat
But a rat without a tail would be absurd

Could it have been a ferret
But I would have smelt it first
Having a ferret under my bed
I couldn't think of anything worse

Maybe it was another cat
But I didn't hear a fight
With the thunderous day we'd just had
There would have been heaps of cats out tonight

This story is not as traumatic
As I've made it seem
I stretched my arms and rubbed my eyes
That was when the penny dropped
I'd just had a Billy dream

AND THAT IS HOW IT IS DONE

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I can remember clearly the pain I felt
With my first broken heart
I was all of 16 years old
My dating life had just begun to start

I was dropped like a lead balloon
I spent the day walking around the house crying
For God's sake girl wake up to yourself and get over him
At least now you are free
And I am sure we've all heard this one
There are plenty of fish in the sea

When my girl was 16
Her heart had been broken just like mine
Your first heartbreak isn't easily forgotten
It doesn't turn back with the hands of time

Not unless you get some help
From someone who's been there, done that
Luckily for her it was her mother
I was more than willing to be handed the bat

I gave her the day off school
I gave her a Jackie Collins book
I told her to spend the day in the pool

When I got home the house was quiet
But then I heard a couple of sighs
I found her in her bedroom reading
What I saw was a sight for sore eyes

She was somewhat burnt
From spending too long in the pool
It was quite obvious she was still absorbed in the Jackie C book
Her mother ain't no fool

Did you have a good day sweetheart
Did you have any phone calls
She didn't even look
She was too engrossed in the book

I was just wondering if 'what's his name' had called
Finally I had her attention
She looked up at me standing at the door
What on earth are you talking about Mum
She seemed to have forgotten the pain she'd been suffering
Just the day before

You know, the love of your life
That boy you were in love with yesterday
Oh Mum, get over it
I haven't thought about him at all today

She turned back to the book
She was concentrating so hard on her reading
Apparently I was the guilty one
I was interrupting and superseding

I smiled as I walked away
I had done the opposite to what my Mother did
I wasn't about to let history repeat itself
I was proud of the way I had handled it

My girl was oblivious to her pain
The book, the pool and her solitude had done the job
I have no reservations about doing it again

I take my parenting very seriously
This responsibility I will never shun
I rubbed my hands together as I walked away
I gave myself a pat on the back
'And that is how it is done'

I met the devil the other night
I was shocked and a tad perturbed
He didn't look like I thought he would
I wasn't at all disturbed

He didn't look scary or evil
He didn't shoot flames of fire
His clothes weren't scruffy or dirty
I was quite impressed with his choice of attire

He was a very striking and handsome man
That's something I thought I'd never say
But if he wasn't
This whole scenario
Would completely go astray

He had jet black hair
And menacing dark eyes
I wanna say they were black
Or maybe they weren't
Maybe they were just part of his disguise

He was very tall
I'm guessing around 6 foot 4
With a ript and slender body
I had the completely wrong impression
Of him before

He had the deepest voice
That I'd ever heard.
It was very low and sexy
To say it sounded devil-like
Would be totally absurd

He had a wicked sense of humour
Which enhanced his one
track-mind
When he looked deep into your eyes
You'd find yourself mesmerised

He didn't fit the mould of what the devil should be
He wasn't vindictive or cruel
His smile could warm the cockles
Off every living soul

And therein lies the word
That I've been searching for
To make my poem complete
I now know why he's here on Earth
He's here for my soul to compete