TEAH LEE-ANNE. KAYNE

You entered my world on a hot summers day
Without making a single sound
You were in such a hurry to leave the womb
You slept thru the whole ordeal

With my head still in a whirl
I heard the doctor say
Congratulations my dear
You are now the Proud Mama
Of a beautiful wee baby girl

I brushed my fingers thru your hair
I kissed your tiny pink nose
I counted your fingers
And I counted your toes
That's just what we do
Every mother knows

I took you home as proud as could be
I wanted the world to see
This precious little bundle
That belonged to only me

I nursed you, I changed your nappies
And then I put you to sleep
I loved reading you poetry
Maybe one day it will make a difference
It certainly did for me

From baby to girl
How the time flew
Where did all those years go
I needed to fix all the clocks in the house
I needed to make them go slow

Then one day I woke up and my little girl had grown
A teenager now stood in her place
She had big blue eyes And long blonde hair
Cascading around her beautiful face

Yes we had the proverbial arguments
The occasional fusses and fights
But we always made up with a good-night kiss
Before I turned out the lights

My teenager has again grown
In her place now stood a woman
To say I'm a Proud Mama would be an understatement
When I look back at how she's completed my life
My eyes begin to well up  with amazement

She is now a happily married woman
With a beautiful girl of her own
Now she gets to sit back with unbridled pride
And watch her baby girl grow
Just like I had to
All those years ago

She has never wanted to meet her bio
It was her decision to make
I wasn't prepared to push the issue
There was far too much at stake

She knows his name, his phone number and his address
But she's not made any contact
As she gets older
I hope this desicion she will not regret

We took a chance and we paid the price
We'd both decided this was to be the last
The split between us was amicable
But when the shit hit the fan
It soon became intolerable

I only made the one demand
If I was to ever hear a denial
I would have him in court in a heartbeat
He would be supporting this child

I have never believed in coincidence
But I was forced to do a 180
He was going to be walking down the aisle
The exact same time as I was giving birth to our baby

Eventually I received the expected call
He wanted to meet my girl
My answer came quick and strong
Not on your bloody life
It was then I heard the extension
I was also talking to his wife

She wanted to know my daughter's birth date
I knew where this was heading
She was about to do the count-back
From the day of conception
To the day of her wedding

I told her what she wanted to know
It was no skin off my nose
You know what this means don't you
The phone went dead, methinks she froze

For 25 years he'd been lying to her
And foolishly she'd believed his story
But now that she knew the truth
Methinks he was about to go out in a blaze of not so much glory

A few years later we did a catch up
The years had been kinder to me
I was calm, cool and collected
Until we sat down for a cup of tea

If you've seen the film Jerry Maguire
You'd remember that famous line
'You Had Me At Hello'
The very first thing he said as he sat down
Was difficult to swallow

What he said rocked me to the core
He'd completely caught me off guard
No one has ever said that to me before

Did you bring any pics of OUR girl
My heart almost stopped beating
He's the only person who has the right to say that
In the whole God damn world

I did something last night I haven't done in years
It wasn't as much fun as I remembered
The outcome was good but it wasn't great
I was almost brought to tears

I thought my memory would serve me well
The mistakes I once made I would not repeat
But apparently I hadn't learnt my lesson
All I felt was dissatisfaction and defeat

I had made a pact between Me, Myself and I
I would never do this again
But when the temptation is so strong
It cannot be ignored
It made me forget about the pact I had made before

I only remembered the good
I had totally forgotten the bad
I remembered how much pleasure it gave me
I was convinced it was the most satisfying experience I had ever had

I was so engrossed with what was happening
My concentration was  intense
I was oblivious to my surrounds
That's all I can offer up in my defense

I had made a conscious decision to take it slow
So I'd remember every stroke
I wasn't capable of doing this before
I always went for broke

It wasn't planned
I was taken by surprise
Back in the day, in another lifetime
I was able to do this all night long
Until I saw the sun rise

But I'm glad I gave into my desire
Even though at times it made me blush
I have never been disappointed
Whenever I've picked up a paintbrush

I have started a ritual
That I'm not allowed to forget
Every night we go for a walk
Just after sunset

I open the front door
I let him out
And then I scooter off
I have to wait at the 1st gazebo
If I don't wanna piss him off

Usually I sit and wait
But tonight was different
The footy was on
He wouldn't come when I called
And it was getting cold and late

I stopped at the 2nd gazebo
To see if he wanted to catch up
He come flying around that corner so fast
I was sure I'd heard an echo

I rounded the corner and reached the door
I waited the usual five
I'm not a bad Mama
Really I'm not
I always give him time
To see if there are any lizards to find

He looked up at me
'I ain't ready yet Mama, I still have things to do'
OK then, I'll leave it to you to decide
The footy's on so I'm going back inside

10 minutes later
I'm lounging in my comfy chair
Billy came in through the cat door
He stood directly in front of me
I was given a disgusted stare

He jumped up on my lap
I thought he was coming for a rest
But I couldn't have been more wrong
You are about to be shocked and horrified
When I tell you what came next

He wasn't after a cuddle
It didn't take long before his intentions became clear
Mama was about to be in deep trouble

The attack was swift and savage
It had caught me completely off guard
He was determined to get even and make me pay
For my pain and suffering he had no regard

In the blink of an eye
He'd jumped off my lap
Landing on the arm of the chair
There were long sharp claws and knife edged teeth
Flying around me everywhere

I can't repeat what I said
As I picked up the remote and gave him a whack
For most cats that would be enough
But not for mine
When Billy gets this angry
He always comes back with another attack

And come back he did with a vengeance
You're gonna pay for what you just did
I'll teach you not to wait for me
Now you'll pay the consequence

This time he drew blood
This time he'd gone too far
This time he'd brought out the big guns
This time I was left with a scar

For the next 2 days I  completely ignored him
I gave him no affection at all
I gave him breakfast dinner and tea
That was the only attention he was getting from me

He got very sad and forlorn
And as usual I gave in
I can never stay angry with my boy for long
He always gets to win

Pull up a chair, Mama and take a load of
There are a couple of things I need to explain
This is not an apology
It's an explanation about what went down the other day

We'd had an agreement
But then you went and charged the rules
You turned our walk into a spectacle
And that was completely unacceptable

Once, twice, three times you're out
You didn't wait for me at the 1st gazebo
You made me run flat chat
And then you had the nerve to slam the door in my face
Have you forgotten who you're dealing with
I'm Billy the Bengal cat

Billy came through the cat door tonight
With the biggest catch I'd ever seen
It was so big he could hardly carry it
He had to drag it through his legs in between

I didn't have a clue what it was
It was yet to make a sound
It was big and black
With white polka dots
Running down the middle of its back

Before I could even guess
He'd dragged it quickly through his usual track
He slid under the bed without looking back

It was way too big to be a mouse
Or even a baby bird
It could have been a rat
But a rat without a tail would be absurd

Could it have been a ferret
But I would have smelt it first
Having a ferret under my bed
I couldn't think of anything worse

Maybe it was another cat
But I didn't hear a fight
With the thunderous day we'd just had
There would have been heaps of cats out tonight

This story is not as traumatic
As I've made it seem
I stretched my arms and rubbed my eyes
That was when the penny dropped
I'd just had a Billy dream