Michael J. Malone

I'm never truly alone to myself
Myself has many personalities
With more stories than a bookshelf
Sharing many different mentalities

Decisions can be sometimes fun
Initially personality one chimes in first
Cause one wants to get things done
But four thinks one is just the worst

Enraging six who runs to one's defense 
Four snaps back with uncommon wit
As six rambles on making truly no sense
Then there's two who refuses to commit

With one now laughing to hearts content
Cause four and six now in the argument
Will fight till evening is completely spent
And two still refuses to engage or commit

Enters five to intervene and save the day
Five the mediator as three would say
Together they team up to show the way
Two now commits to irritate them away

Whom three accuses two of jealousy
Cause five and three are friends you see
With one still laughing hysterically
Four and six have now entered therapy

So the night becomes really interesting
Cause one and two are now listening
To three and four's happy whistling
At five and six who started...kissing!?!

Multiple personalities can be so fun
Just don't expect normality from one
One's mind will simply become undone
Arguing to kissing and the nights still young

Superman's demise is his kryptonite
With the ability to weaken and destroy
But a worse fate exists in this fight
With a greater ability to totally annoy

I'm referring to a whitish nightmare
Often used to package boxes in care
The noise is such a wonderful scare
Loud screeching please don't dare

The very thought puts me into fright
Though masses eat off it in delight
Terrifying noises with no end in sight
Brought too close it will cause a fight

Eliminate this plague I beg you please
It's no more than a screechy disease
Meant to totally annoy in many degrees
My noisy kryptonite for everyone to see

Styrofoam oh do I utterly loathe thee
I wish the entire world would also agree
Horrible noise bringing me to my knees
From you I really want to completely flee

Ode to thee horrible treadmill
As you call to me to start the day
Have thee no mercy treadmill
Thou instrument of torture today

As I climb onto your dark track
Quick start before resistance wins
Thou spinning tracks now attack
It's time to pay for my eating sins

Oh wow now the speed begins
Too much too much I cry at last
Hear the playing of the violins
Labored voice where AED I asked

Slow down unforgiving treadmill
I despise to be treated this way
Heart rate screams on this hill
The nausea refuses to go away

Resistance is futile in the last
Mile after mile on dark track
I'm having such a sarcastic blast
The mental sanity now cracks

Oh treadmill a tenth left on thee
Each second seems an eternity
Yes! I have reached the end hehe
I now rush to vomit with urgency

I am your neighborhood cat you see
Destined to antagonize you as I please
Peering through your window hehe
Come here dog to bark to appease

You can't get me you canine disease
You're locked inside can't you see
I'll scratch at your window with ease
Ahhh does this irritate with my tease

Bark bark bark dog to try to appease
As I lick your window repeatedly hehe
Oh wait here is my backside to tease
I wave my tail just to further displease

Had enough you stupid canine disease
I'm your neighborhood cat I do as I please
Wait! was that the front door as I freeze
Chased down the street now I must flee