Poems by Lee W. Barker

Walking into a typhoon,
Swimming against the tide,
That's just how it feels,
When my truth I have to hide.

Pretending you're really happy,
When inside you want to cry.
Feeling unbelievably low,
But your exterior shows you're high.

Forgetting how to feel happy,
'Cause your default is set to sad.
Forgetting all the good times,
Just remembering the bad.

Not wanting to leave the house
Or talk to anyone today.
Walking with my head down,
In my bed I want to stay.

Not seeing a light at the end,
Just stormy skies up ahead.
I can't see a way out of this.
Maybe I'd be better off dead?!

A feeling of guilt arises,
For two lives depend on me.
My special boys I love so much,
If only they could see...

These dark thoughts I have inside,
The bad things I want to do,
The hurt I cause to myself,
These scares upset me too.

The one wish that I have
Is my kids never feel this pain
Or the feeling of self-hatred
Under dark clouds filled with rain.

As I look into the future,
The old me will resurrect one day.
I'll then smile a real smile and say,
"I really do feel good today."

Behind this calm face there is a raging storm,
Like a war in my head since the day I was born.

Behind this smile there is a lonely sad frown,
Acting oh so happy when really you are down.

Behind these blue eyes is a bright burning fire,
Flames flickering out of control, getting higher.

Behind this laugh when I'm laughing out loud,
There's a tear like a rain drop from a dull cloud.

Behind these dry eyes is a waterfall of pain,
Trying to plug the leak, but the effort is in vain.

Behind this confident man is a shy little boy,
The youngster from school, so lonely and coy.

Between my ears is a fight inside my head,
Happy against sad or living battling dead.

Behind this big heart it is shattered like glass,
Still not healed from the bully in the class.

Behind the happiness lies sadness deep down,
Swimming against the tide trying not to drown.

Like a bird upon a branch,
She sat so elegantly;
I knew right from the start
She was the one for me.

Blonde hair blowing in the wind,
She looked so beautiful;
A smile could light the sky,
Together our heart strings pull.

Her eyes twinkled like a star
Or diamonds in the sky;
With her, I could lay forever,
Watching the world go by.

Love at first sight it was
As our hearts began to sync;
Like a hand into a glove,
I reached out my arm to link.

I thought, "She's too good for me."
It seems too good to be true;
Could she be the one at last
Who says those words "I do"?

A story of love we will tell
About love at first sight
When my heart fell for yours
On that cold winter's night.

Love is when you'd do anything.
Love is your best friend;
Love is the key to life,
Love is until the end.

Like two doves we will be,
Together in all we do;
Till death do us part,
I will always love you.