Poems by Kathy J. Parenteau

Yucky Chucky Tucker was smelly as can be,
he never took a bath and hardly ever brushed his teeth.
Everywhere he went he left an odor in the air,
and Yucky Chucky Tucker never combed his hair.
His hands were always dirty cause he played with stinky worms,
he never cared if he got sick, he wasn't afraid of germs.
He didn't have a lot of friends except for one or two,
till Yucky Chucky Tucker met little Linda Sue.
Linda was quite pretty, an awesome sight to admire
and Yucky Chucky Tucker would give anything to sit by her.
But he'd have to make some changes and what I mean by that,
Yucky Chucky Tucker would have to take a bath.
He'd have to wash his hands and scrub his dirty face,
and to clean his stained up yellow teeth would take a tube of paste.
He'd have to wash his hair at least a dozen times,
to remove the terrible build up of sticky greasy grime.
Then Yucky Chucky Tucker would have to change his clothes,
sprinkle on cologne and find a bright red rose.
And maybe if he's lucky little Linda Sue,
might take another look at him and think he's really cute.
Funny how a pretty girl can change the way you think,
cause even Yucky Chucky Tucker washed away his stink,
All to catch the eye of little Linda Sue,
besides, her daddy owned a toy store, now what's a boy to do?

I woke with a particular feeling
I was floating on top of the ceiling,
A little surprised
when I opened my eyes
at the sight my room was revealing.

I saw something I'd never seen.
I knew this must be a dream.
There, on my bed,
was my dog Fred,
watching the TV screen.

He was munching on chips and a coke.
I thought this must be a joke.
As he took a big slurp,
he let out a burp,
and I felt a big lump in my throat.

He was wearing my slippers and pjs,
closed all the windows and shut all the shades.
It was clear to see
he thought he was me
as I stared at him, shocked and amazed.

My mom brought him breakfast in bed,
then kissed him on top of his head,
fried eggs and ham
with strawberry jam.
That should have been me instead!

Then I woke up trembling with fear
while Fred was licking my ear.
I threw off the sheets
and looked at my feet
then thought to myself oh dear!

Fred scratched at the door to go pee,
then turned and grinned at me.
When I looked at his paws,
the sight that I saw
was more than I bargained to see.

There, before my eyes,
wearing my slippers with pride,
Fred's tail was wagging,
just like he was bragging,
and off he went outside!

The dogs are barking at the door,
but we can't let them in 'cause they
pooped on the floor.
It wasn't your average pile of poo.
It was runny and wet and looked like beef stew.
I tried to clean it with a paper towel
but started to gag 'cause the smell was so fowl!
I thought to myself just how can this be,
cleaning up poopy is way worse than pee!
So I made a vow no more pets
'cause this is a mess I won't soon forget!