I can't hear the noises around me
Over the silent voices inside my head.
I don't feel the ache that should come
When I laugh with my friends.
I look around and I try to see
Anything that can make sense to me,
But everything is a blur.
This heart that beats within me,
What does it beat for?
What do I call myself
When I feel so much
And do not shed a tear?
What am I
When the chaos within and without
Leaves me unfeeling and cold?
I feel like I'm underwater,
But I'm only drowning in air,
Gasping for breath,
Struggling to stay afloat.
I don't have the strength to fight
The dizzying darkness that clouds my mind,
It wraps around me, snug like a blanket,
Just without the warmth.
It's overwhelming
To feel the pain and the aching,
To feel the wistfulness and the longing.
To feel everything.
To feel nothing at all.
Feeling Empty And Lost
Underwater
Published by Family Friend Poems September 2021 with permission of the Author.
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