Poems by Pat Fleming

When I was young on rainy days,
Alone on my front porch I'd play.
I'd lose myself in another time
That I could create with my toys and my mind.

Tomorrow never mattered to me,
For that was where I would always be.
There would be no hurt, no pain, no tears,
There were no worries; there was nothing to fear.

But as I grew up and everything changed,
I realized that life was no easy game.
You lived by the rules that the outside world made,
And that feeling of safety would ultimately fade.

You walked a fine line as you faced every day,
Filled with constant surprises as you went on your way.
And your life could change in the blink of an eye,
And failure could come no matter how hard you tried.

You would fight many battles, as you tarried along.
Sometimes you'd be right, but more times you'd be wrong.
So many people you'd love and you'd hate,
But you had to keep going because life wouldn't wait.

And lost in that mess that you'd make every day
And behind all those senseless and stupid mistakes
Would be moments so splendid, so perfect and fine,
You would wish that they all could be frozen in time.

Cherished moments with family, the fulfillment of dreams,
Those brief special moments, and the boring routines.
The excitement of learning just who you could be,
And finding that happiness was not guaranteed.

Discovering, with relief, your niche in this world,
Achieving so much but still wanting more.
Through births and some losses, you'd survive on just hope,
Always searching for ways to escape and to cope.

And then there'd be love to nourish your heart,
And sadness and tears when that love fell apart.
You would go through the stages of life as they came.
You would grow up and grow old and constantly change.

You'd see beautiful things in this exceptional world,
The wonder and power of nature unfurled.
You would witness the kindness of our own human race.
But also the destruction and chaos we make.

Indeed as a child I had no real clue
About what was coming and what I'd go through.
And although I do miss that innocent peace,
I treasure each moment that brought me to me.

But still when it's dark and rainy sometimes,
My cozy front porch will come gently to mind.
And I'll long for a chance to just steal away
And curl up on that porch with my toys and just play.

I've lived quite a while and learned quite a bit
About life and this world where we live.
I've found that it's filled with both good and the bad.
Some who take, while some others will give.

There's a balance to life in the way it unfolds.
That's a truth that we all come to know.
They'll be times we endure some unbearable days
And sleepless nights filled with anger and woe.   

Then come those moments of utter contentment,
When it all seems to fall into place,
When all that you are seems so right with the world,
You feel all of your pain's been erased.

We spend so much time on a quest for ourselves,
Searching for that internal peace.
And on each of our paths we may misstep and fall,
But our need for the answers won't cease.

We're composed and we're driven by our hearts and souls.
Our beliefs grow from what we've been taught.
Our dreams are all nurtured by the things that we see,
And our morals from the fights we have fought.

We all look so different; we all have our ways,
And at times we just can't understand
That inside we're no different, our humanities the same,
And we all do the best that we can.

Feelings of sadness, grief, joy, and pain,
Feeling lonely and empty and scared.
We each have these feelings, no matter our lives,
And we all yearn for someone to care.

It's that not understanding each other
Fosters the feelings of hate,
So we must take the time to learn all that we can,
While forgiving each other's mistakes.

Yes, I've learned quite a lot in my 63 years,
And to look well beyond what I see
To embrace and respect everyone as they are,
And hope that they'll do that for me.

The world won't stop spinning, and the sun will still rise.
There will always be conflict and strife,
But accepting we're all only human
Will make this a much better life.

When I stand small before the ocean
In her vast infinity,
I'm consumed by all her beauty
And my profound humility.

When I succumb to her enticement
And the beckoning of her waves,
I become her eager servant
And her shameless, willing slave.

The chill in her mighty, salty touch,
My mere self in her boundless embrace,
Sharing the rhythm of her shifting surf
Everything else in the world is erased.

When she slowly grows more placid
And I float limp within her peace,
I see only the blue sky up above
I hear only the sounds of the sea.

But alas she's a moody enchantress
Turning fierce when the harsh wind blows.
She'll come thundering forth without mercy
To warn me it's past time to go.

As I sit on the toasty, sparkling sand
And I watch her play tag with the shore,
People stand by her quite mesmerized,
She's a marvel that can't be ignored.

There are moments I call her my loyal chum
And I trust her implicitly.
But then she may wield all her force my way
And I realize I'm out of her league.

When the summer is drawing nigh to a close
And my visits more precious and brief,
When the chill of the winter is all there is
I'll find warmth in her sweet memory.

I will think of her beauty in the early morn
When the sun starts to light up the sky
And she shimmers upon her in sheer delight
Like bright diamonds before my eyes.

I'll imagine the boats in the distance,
The wind pushing their bright, graceful sails
The aroma of the sea and her salty bite
As I lift up my chest and inhale.

I will think of her often as time passes by
So unfettered, dynamic, and free
I'll imagine the joy when I see her again
And hope she'll be glad to see me.

I feel as if I'm teetering
High above a dark, black hole,
And it's taking everything I have
Not to lose control.

My feet keep slipping off the tightrope.
My arms start flailing in mid-air.
I'm sweating 'neath the scorching sun,
Blinded by its savage glare.

I've been swaying on this tightrope now
For more than half my life.
But it seems to go on into infinity
With no terminus in sight.

One shaky foot in front of the other,
My aging body sore and stiff.
I've considered acquiescence.
Perhaps it's time for me to quit.

I'm so focused on survival
And never looking down
That I've lost sight of all the beauty
That is everywhere around.

The mountains towering over me
With white blankets on their peaks.
The green and sparkling river
Flowing swift and aimlessly.

The flawless azure cloudless sky.
Those dark moments when she weeps.
Her stars that shine so bright at night
To safely guide my weary feet.

Eagles soaring to their nests.
The distant valleys deep and green.
All of nature's busy creatures
Who roam this earth so free.

Those people who keep watch for me
To catch me if I lose my balance.
Who have staggered on their own tightropes
So are well acquainted with the challenge.

They keep vigil from a distance
And have done their best to understand
That I need to make this trek alone
To become everything I am.

The days and nights are passing now.
My body's weak, but my will is strong.
I stop and rest more frequently,
But I recover and move on.

I've been meandering this tightrope now
For more than half my life,
Surviving good and bad days too,
But never giving up the fight.

And those who really love me
Who have never lost their faith,
Have helped convince me through it all
This was a journey I could make.

So to all of you who are like me,
Walking that fine and tottering line,
Just put one foot before the other,
And you'll master it in time.

As the morning bell was sounding
We settled in our seats,
And Ms. Williams wrote upon the board
The list of work we would complete.

It felt like any other day
With no apparent change.
The sounds around me so familiar,
Every moment seemed the same.

The whispers of my closest friends,
A class singing down the hall,
Ms. Williams' soft, assuring voice,
And the squeaking of her chalk.

Anticipation of our lunchtime break
And my choice, PB and J,
Then back to work until the final bell
And the end of our school day.

But then in one split second
Our whole world came crashing down,
When the safety we all had shared
Was shattered by a booming sound.

That booming sound continued.
It seemed to come from everywhere.
I could hear some children screaming
And a smoky, egg smell in the air.

Ms. Williams looked so frightened
That my heart began to pound.
I felt myself begin to panic
As we all dropped to the ground.

Beneath our desks we huddled
While we held our best friends tight.
I closed my eyes and held my breath
And cowered there in fright.

I thought about my Mom and Dad
And knew that soon they'd come.
But then he breached our classroom door
And started shooting everyone.

Sally drooped inside my arms!
We were falling one by one!
Blood was splattered everywhere
As he wielded his big gun!

The world was growing darker now
And I shivered from the cold.
I reached for Sally's bloody hand
So I had something I could hold.

We prayed someone would save us
And take this monster far away.
But each moment we grew wearier
Until we knew it was too late.

And then the last bell of the day
Echoed loudly through the halls.
But instead of children's laughter
There was not a single sound at all!