Madeline Matterson

I count the seconds
As the time comes near.
I know as I wait
That pain will be here.

I don't want to hurt.
I don't understand why.
I don't want this pain.
I don't want to cry.

I want to be loved.
I want a hand to hold.
I want a shoulder to cry on.
I want loving words to be told.

I sit here so quiet
In silent sorrow,
Praying to God
That I might see tomorrow.

But until then,
I count the seconds.

I could fill the oceans with the tears I've cried
Or cover the entire earth with blankets of failed tries.
Countless times what I thought was truth became a lie.
Everything is falling apart, and I'm sick of asking why.
It gets so bad, to the point where I just want to die,
But all of this is nothing compared to the pain of goodbye.
What's the point of believing if you could never fly?
I'm a bird with clipped wings, a well that has run dry,
I'm an undone knot with ends too loose to tie,
But still, nothing compares to the endless pain of goodbye.

Don't ever say goodbye, even if you leave
I'll always be your little girl, pulling at your sleeve

Don't ever say goodbye if you're not coming back
It would only mean another load on my heavy rack

Don't ever say goodbye, but please realize
I'll always be your little girl, but now with tear filled eyes

Don't ever say goodbye, I can already sense when you're gone
But I'll always be your little girl waiting for a goodnight song

Don't ever say goodbye, or I'll wait day and night
Hoping that my Daddy won't die in the next fight

Don't ever say goodbye; I need your shoulder so strong
I want you to hold me forever, but now you're already gone

Don't ever say goodbye, even if you're letting go
I can't tell you not to die, but I wish it weren't so

Daddy, you've been gone too long, but you have to know
You may be dead, but don't say goodbye, 'cause another day we'll say hello