Charlene Valladares

Trapped with nowhere to turn, life is changing beyond my control,
causing this deep ache in the bottom of my soul.

Someone else is pulling the strings,
oh to fly, oh for wings.

Escape, I want to dig my self out,
filled with despair, filled with doubt.

Mute not able to express,
this gnawing pain and feeling of relentless distress.

Tears that are not visible to the naked eye,
silent screams that no one can hear.

I try to speak but nothing can express,
this feeling of sadness and worthlessness.

Emotional pain, walks with me through the day,
and sleeps with me through the night,
leaving me depletes with no strength to fight.

Anger for not having the courage to turn things around,
keeping me anchored to this remorse,
not able to untie the chains and change my course.

False pride rules supreme,
always there to whisper in my ear.

Time, wasted and badly spent,
lots of hurt, lots to repent.

Solace, please come and calm my soul,
for this is what I need to make me whole.

Empathy, what I need is for someone to see,
someone to see the real me.

Love with no strings,
just giving generously amongst other things.

Words, when used as a weapon can cut like a knife,
capable of doing so much damage and take the joy out of life,

but softly spoken and softly expressed
can bring so much happiness.

I look in the mirror at the beginning of each day,
and ask myself what mask should I place on my face today.

No not the sad one it's too revealing,
I don't want to show the world my true feelings.

For the mask that you can see
camouflages the true me.

It's my public face that I remove each night,
when I bare my soul the mirrors light.

It's the one meant for only my eyes to see
it speaks of all my history.

It tells of my youth and girlish ways,
my adolescents and my young woman's dreams.

It tells of good times of which I had my share
of love lost and pain so hard to bear.

So I choose my mask so carefully,
to cover the face that was given to me,
the one that was meant for only my eyes to see.

Like a ghost, I flitter through the night,
keeping to the shadows and abhorring the light.

The night camouflages and no one can see
the shadow of the person that once was me.

The days lays me bare with nowhere to hide,
this raw pain that I feel inside,

You are no longer of this world,
you inhabit a place of no return,
no matter the tears or how much I yearn.

All I have left are your memories,
cherish them I will do,
but I would give everything I have for one more day with you.

So I will continue on living until the day
you come for me and take me away.

Rain, glorious, pounding, soaking rain
How I love to hear your song
Drowning my world in your torrential downpour
I sit here and contemplate your frenzy dance moves upon my window panes
Lost I am in your graceful movements
You dance through the night as the dawn awaits in the horizon
You sashay your last moves and the sun peeks through the clouds
Move on, it cries
For it is my time to wash the world with light
And your last drops bid the world
Goodbye